“I heard there was a new store called Moderation. They have everything there”
"Moderation in all things" or "Everything in moderation" is an old proverb. A joke was posted on Twitter on October 17, 2013: "I heard there was a new store called…
Alphebetical for "i"
“I heard you can get lawyers at IKEA now. They’re affordable, but you have to build your own case”
A legal case isn't the same as a bookcase, but there are "case" jokes. "I heard you can get lawyers at Ikea now. They're very affordable, but you have to build your own…
“I hired a Russian Uber driver the other day. His name was Pikup Andropov”
The radio talk show Car Talk used many funny fictional names. "Ok, another Car Talk fan. The Russian chauffeur is Pickup Andropov" was posted on the newsgroup rec.arts.bonsai on January…
“I hit the gym, but I drove away because I don’t have car insurance”
"Hit the gym" is an expression meaning "go to the gym" that's not meant to be taken as a literal "hit," but there's a joke: "I hit the gym, but I drove…
“I hit two great balls on the golf course—I stepped on a rake” (joke)
An old joke has a golfer say this after a bad round of golf: "I hit two great balls on the golf course -- I stepped on a rake at the sand trap." The joke has been cited in print in 1985,…
“I homeschool because I have seen the village and I don’t want it raising my children”
"It takes a village to raise a child" is an African proverb. "I homeschool because I have seen the village and I don't want it raising my children" (or "We homeschool…
“I hope my government will let me go outside today”
"I hope my government will let me go outside today" is a saying (the speaker is shown with many vaccine needles in the body) that has been shown on many images. The speaker slavishly…
“I hope one day I love something the way women in commercials love yogurt”
"I hope one day I love something the way women in commercials love yogurt" (or "I hope someday I love something the way women in commercials love yogurt" is a saying that has…
“I hope someday I love something the way women in commercials love yogurt”
"I hope one day I love something the way women in commercials love yogurt" (or "I hope someday I love something the way women in commercials love yogurt" is a saying that has…
“I hope the bars open soon. I need to cut down on my drinking”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in many bars/pubs being closed. Liquor stores were left open, and many people made drinks at home. "I hope the Bars open up soon. I need to cut down…
“I hope the grocery stores will put the arrows back on the floor again so I can feel safe”
During the COVID-19 (coronavirus) pandemic in 2020 and 2021, many grocery stores put arrows on the floor so shoppers could walk in one direction. This was widely ridiculed as completely useless in…
“I hope the guy who invented Autocorrect burns in hello!”
Autocorrect often makes mistakes. "Burn in hello auto correct!" was posted on Twitter on September 19, 2010. "I hope the inventor of auto-correct barns in hello" was posted on…
“I hope the pubs open soon. I need to cut down on my drinking”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in many bars/pubs being closed. Liquor stores were left open, and many people made drinks at home. "I hope the Bars open up soon. I need to cut down…
“I hope the weather is good tomorrow for my trip to Puerto Backyarda”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic cancelled the vacation plans of many people. They stayed at home instead. "After work I’m taking a little trip to Puerto Backyarda for the day. Bon voyage!…
“I hope we can all still be friends even if we end up in different concentration camps”
"I hope we can all stay friends even if we end up in different concentration camps 🤞🤞" was posted on Twitter by MT Miss 76 on September 10, 2021. "I hope we can all still be…
“I hope whatever bad thing happens is at least funny”
An interesting post on life was posted on Twitter by Mr. Bedtime (originally "Hippo") on August 15, 2017, and has received over 38,600 likes: Me (young, naive); I hope something good…
“I hope when I inevitably choke to death on gummy bears, people just say I was killed by bears”
If you choke on gummy bears, are you "killed by bears"? "The only good thing about choking to death on gummy bears is that your family can say you were killed by bears, which sounds…
“I hope your favorite football team wins, so it can benefit your life in no way whatsoever”
"I hope your favorite football team wins, so it can benefit your life in no way whatsoever" is a saying that has been printed on several images. The saying means that sports -- while…
“I identify as a conspiracy theorist, my pronouns are They/Lied”
"I identify as a conspiracy theorist, my pronouns are They/Lied" and "I identify as a conspiracy theorist, my pronouns are Told/You/So" are sayings that have been printed on…
“I identify as a conspiracy theorist, my pronouns are Told/You/So”
"I identify as a conspiracy theorist, my pronouns are They/Lied" and "I identify as a conspiracy theorist, my pronouns are Told/You/So" are sayings that have been printed on…