“I Guess the Lord Must Be in New York City” (1969)
Harry Nilsson wrote "I Guess the Lord Must Be in New York City" for the movie Midnight Cowboy (1969), but the director used Nilsson's "Everybody's Talkin'"…
Alphebetical for "i"
“I had a continental breakfast. Unfortunately, the continent was Africa”
Many hotels serve continental breakfasts. One joke is that some serve African continent breakfasts -- that is, not much food. "I'd forgotten how broadly interpreted Continental Breakfast…
“I had a crazy dream that I weighed less than a thousandth of a gram! I was like, 0mg!”
"OMG" (Oh My God) shouldn't be confused with "0mg" (no milligrams), but there are jokes. "I had a crazy dream that I weighed less than a thousandth of a gram. I was,…
“I had a dream I was driving a Ferrari last night. I was fast, asleep”
This pun was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on April 28, 2022: "I had a dream I was driving a Ferrari last night... I was fast, asleep." A Ferrari is an Italian luxury sports car that can go…
“I had a dream last night that I was cutting carrots with the Grim Reaper—dicing with death”
English writer and comedian Tim Vine has a frequently told one-line joke about dicing carrots: "I had a dream last night that I was cutting carrots with the Grim Reaper -- dicing with…
“I had a dream that I was a mechanic who fixed wrecked cars. It was an auto body experience”
"Auto body experience" is a pun on "out-of-body-experience," and there are many jokes. "Did you hear about the clairvoyant who repaired his fender bender? He had an auto…
“I had a dream that I was drowning in orange soda. Turned out it was just a Fanta sea”
Fanta is a fruit-flavored carbonated drink (often orange flavor). "Fanta Sea" (fantasy) is a pun that has been printed on many images. "If Kel loves orange soda, swimming in it would…
“I had a dream that I was swimming in orange soda. Turned out it was just a Fanta sea”
Fanta is a fruit-flavored carbonated drink (often orange flavor). "Fanta Sea" (fantasy) is a pun that has been printed on many images. "If Kel loves orange soda, swimming in it would…
“I had a dream the ocean was filled with orange soda. It was a Fanta sea”
Fanta is a fruit-flavored carbonated drink (often orange flavor). "Fanta Sea" (fantasy) is a pun that has been printed on many images. "If Kel loves orange soda, swimming in it would…
“I had a dream to read other people’s minds. Then I joined Facebook”
"I used to wonder what it’d be like to read other people’s minds. Then I got a Facebook account, and I’m over it" is a jocular Facebook saying that has been printed on many images.…
“I had a job where I had to put shredded cheese back together. It was de-grating”
"Degrading" should not be confused with "de-grating," but there are jokes. "Sometimes I try to put shredded cheese back together, but then I feel like that's degrating…
“I had a life…but my job ate it”
"I had a life...but my job ate it" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many bumper stickers. "Bumper sticker of the day: I had a life but my job ate it" was posted to…
“I had a lot of stuff to do today. Now I have a lot of stuff to do tomorrow”
"I had a lot of stuff to do today. Now I have a lot of stuff to do tomorrow" is a jocular saying about procrastination that has been printed on many images. "I had a lot of stuff to…
“I had a pleasure trip—took my mother-in-law to the airport”
A popular mother-in-law joke was told in "The Lockhorns" comic strip in 1972: "JUST RETURNED FROM A PLEASURE TRIP -- DRIVING MY MOTHER-IN-LAW TO THE AIRPORT." The joke is…
“I had a ploughman’s lunch the other day. He wasn’t very happy”
A "ploughman's lunch" (a lunch that ploughmen in the United Kingdom like to eat) consists of cheese, pickle and bread. A popular joke is: "I had a ploughman's lunch the…
“I had a real job trying to open a bottle of Ketchup so went on the internet for some ‘open source’ information”
"Open source" information won't necessarily tell you how to open a bottle of ketchup, but there are jokes. This was posted on X/Twitter (and also on Facebook and Bluesky at about the…
“I had a really funny joke, but autocorrect ruined the lunchtime”
A joke about autocorrection is: "I had a really funny joke, but autocorrect ruined the lunchtime." "Punchline" was changed to "lunchtime." The joke was posted on…
“I had a salad joke, but I tossed it”
"I had a salad joke... but i tossed it" was posted on Facebook by Andrew Lim on August 21, 2012. "I had a salad joke... But I tossed it" was posted on Reddit -- Dadjokes on…
“I had a shepherd’s pie for lunch. He was furious”
A shepherd's pie is a meat pie with a crust of mashed potato. A popular joke is: "I had a shepherd's pie for lunch. He was furious." "I ate a shepherd's pie for tea…
“I had a thought, but unfortunately I had a second thought…” (joke)
"I had a thought, but unfortunately I had a second thought. They ricocheted off each other and I can't find either anymore" (or "I had a thought, but unfortunately I had another…