“I just dropped a heavy box of berries on my foot. Now I cranberry walk”
"Cranberry" can sound like "can barely," and there are jokes. "I cranberry walk after this drink!!!!" was posted on X/Twitter by Cory Thielen on November 22, 2012.…
Alphebetical for "i"
“I just fired myself from cleaning my house. I didn’t like my attitude and I got caught drinking”
"I just fired myself from cleaning my house. I didn’t/don't like my attitude and I got caught drinking on the job" is a joke that has been printed on many images. "Saw this on…
“I just fired myself from cleaning my house. I don’t like my attitude and I got caught drinking”
"I just fired myself from cleaning my house. I didn’t/don't like my attitude and I got caught drinking on the job" is a joke that has been printed on many images. "Saw this on…
“I just flew back from a Spaghetti-O’s convention and Boyardee’s arms tired”
“I just flew in and boy, are my arms tired!” is a very old joke (1940s). The arms are tired from flapping so much (like a bird's wings). Chef Boyardee is an American brand of canned pasta,…
“I just flew in and boy, are my arms tired!”
"I just flew in from (Chicago, Los Angeles, New York) and boy, are my arms tired!" is a classic joke told by American comedians. That is, the arms had been flapping like a bird's…
“I just flew in from a ravioli convention. Boyardees arms tired”
“I just flew in and boy, are my arms tired!” is a very old joke (1940s). The arms are tired from flapping so much (like a bird's wings). Chef Boyardee is an American brand of canned pasta,…
“I just flew in from a Transformers convention. And boy, my arms are tires”
“I just flew in and boy, are my arms tired!” is a very old joke (1940s). The arms are tired from flapping so much (like a bird's wings). Transformers arms are actual tires, and there are…
“I just flew in from Italy and boyardee’s arms tired”
“I just flew in and boy, are my arms tired!” is a very old joke (1940s). The arms are tired from flapping so much (like a bird's wings). Chef Boyardee is an American brand of canned pasta,…
“I just found out Canada isn’t real. Turns out it was all just mapleleaf”
"Maple leaf" (a national symbol of Canada) sounds like "make believe." "When I was little I used to think Canada was real. Now I realize it was Maple Leaf 🍁" was…
“I just found out it doesn’t matter how early I go to sleep I just don’t want to go to work”
"I just found out it doesn't matter how early I go to sleep I just don't want to go to work" is a saying that has been printed on many images. That is, even if the speaker gets…
“I just found out my Indian name is…chugalottajava”
"I've just found out that my Indian name is Chugalottajava" (or "I just found out my Indian name is...chugalottajava") is a jocular coffee saying that has been printed on…
“I just got a full tank of gas for $22. Granted it was for my lawn mower…”
$22 used to fill up a car's gas tank, but not with high gas prices. "I just got a full tank of gas for $22. Granted it was for my lawn mower but I am trying to stay positive" was…
“I just got a job working in a full size cuckoo clock…” (joke)
A cuckoo clock often features a figure that comes out of a house to strike the hour. A cuckoo clock joke was posted on Twitter on December 10, 2010: "I've got a job working in a full size…
“I just got a job working in a full size cuckoo clock…” (joke)
A cuckoo clock often features a figure that comes out of a house to strike the hour. A cuckoo clock joke was posted on Twitter on December 10, 2010: "I've got a job working in a full size…
“I just got a photo from a speed camera through the mail. I sent it back—it’s way too expensive and really bad quality”
When a motorist receives a speed camera photo through the mail, it's a fine. You're not paying all that money for the photo, but there's a popular joke. "I just got a photo from…
“I just got completely burnt fries at a restaurant. It really is Black Fry Day”
A pun on "Black Friday" is "Black Fry Day" -- a day of burnt french fries. "McDonald's should served only burnt french fries the day after Thanksgiving, because…
“I just got done working all night, and I am ready to call it a day”
"I just got done working all night, and I am ready to call it a day" is a seemingly contradictory saying about working during the night. "Been working all night on the…
“I just got fired from a florist. Apparently I took too many leaves”
"Leaves of absence" are not like the leaves on a plant, but there are jokes. "I just got fired from a florist, apparently I took too many leaves" was posted on Twitter by Funny…
“I just got my son a flat piece of cardboard for Christmas. He wanted an ex-box”
Xbox is a video gaming brand from Microsoft. "Xbox" should not be confused with "ex box," but there are jokes. "I've just got my son a flat piece of cardboard for…
“I just got off a flight that crossed through five time zones. Does that make me a time traveler?”
"Since I'm going in different time zones and am gaining hours, does that make me a time traveler?" was posted on Twitter on March 29, 2015. "If I keep traveling to different…