“I identify as a potato because I like to be baked & smashed”
"I identify as a potato because I like to be baked & smashed" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. That is, stoned ("baked") and drunk…
Alphebetical for "i"
“I joined a 12-step program for people who talk too much. It’s called On and On Anon”
"'I talk too much,' Evan Davis admitted. 'I've joined a self-help group called On-and-On-Anon. Our meetings go forever'" was printed in the Lansing (MI) State…
“I joined a dating site for arsonists. I got a match straight away”
"is match.com a dating site for arsonists?" is a jocular question that was posted on Twitter by peedrinkingcrapface on February 6, 2010. "Match.com ... is that a dating site for…
“I just baked you some shut the fucupcakes”
"Try my new recipe. They're called shut the fucupcakes" or "I just baked you some shut the fucupcakes" (shut the fuck up + cupcakes) is a food saying that has been printed…
“I just blocked someone for correcting my grammar and it feelded good”
"I just blocked someone (on my page) for correcting my grammar and it feeled/feelded/feeleded/felt good" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "I just blocked…
“I just blocked someone for correcting my grammar and it felt good”
"I just blocked someone (on my page) for correcting my grammar and it feeled/feelded/feeleded/felt good" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "I just blocked…
“I just blocked someone on my page for correcting my grammar and it feeled good”
"I just blocked someone (on my page) for correcting my grammar and it feeled/feelded/feeleded/felt good" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "I just blocked…
“I just blocked someone on my page for correcting my grammar and it feeleded good”
"I just blocked someone (on my page) for correcting my grammar and it feeled/feelded/feeleded/felt good" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "I just blocked…
“I just bought a film with 3.142 stars out of 5. It was a pi rated DVD”
There are many "pirated" DVDs, and the word is sometimes punned as "pi" rated. "RT: @FunnyJoker: I just bought a film with 3.142 stars out of 5. It was a pi rated DVD"…
“I just bought a jar of transparent insects. I got them at a clear-ants sale”
A "clearance" sale shouldn't be confused with a "clear ants" sale, but there are jokes. "My local shop are now selling transparent insects! There having a clear ants…
“I just bought a new answering machine. What should I ask it?”
A telephone "answering machine" does not answer questions, but there are jokes. "I just bought an answering machine! What should I ask it???" was posted on Twitter by Labyrinth…
“I just bought one of those real life sex dolls and she’s so realistic she just wants to be friends”
Some men are so unfortunate that they can't get lucky with a sex doll. "I'm terrible with women. Even my sex doll only wants to be friends" was posted on Twitter by Hasan LaLa…
“I just burned 1,200 calories. I forgot the pizza in the oven”
"I just burned 1,200 calories. I forgot the pizza in the oven" is a joke that has been printed on several ecards. "I just burned 800 calories! My microwave fried my Hot Pockets…
“I just can’t handle automatic doors”
Automatic doors open without touching them. "I just can’t handle automatic doors" was posted on Twitter by David Lamb on June 3, 2019. "I JUST CAN'T HANDLE AUTOMATIC…
“I just can’t see myself wearing camouflage”
"Can't ever see myself wearing camouflage" is a joke that was posted on Twitter by Doug on July 12, 2012. "I can't see myself wearing camouflage" was posted on Twitter…
“I just cleared out some space in the freezer sounds much more productive than I had ice cream”
"I just cleared out some space in the freezer sounds much more productive than I just polished off a pint of ice cream" is a meme that has been cited since at least May 2, 2021. The…
“I just Clorox wiped a bottle of Purell and Purelled my hands cuz I touched the Clorox canister”
Entry in progress -- B.P. Wikipedia: 2019-20 coronavirus outbreakThe 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic is an ongoing global pandemic of coronavirus disease 2019 (COVID-19), caused by severe acute…
“I just crashed my Kia. Now I have Nokia”
Kia (a car) shouldn't be confused with Nokia (a phone), but there are jokes. "I drove my Kia into a river. Now i have Nokia" was posted on Twitter by Nick Bongston on August 27,…
“I just don’t want to look back and think, ‘I could’ve eaten that’”
"I just don't want to look back and think, 'I could've eaten that'" is a jocular line that has been printed on GIFs. "I just don’t want to look back and think,…
“I just donated $100 to a blind children’s charity, not that the kids will ever see any of it”
Many charities have high overhead, and the donated money doesn't reach the purpose of the charity. A joke was posted on Twitter by Sickipedia on January 3, 2012: "I just donated a…