“I was trying to remember what it’s called when you mix coffee and ice cream, but affogato!”
"Affogato" (Italian for "drowned") is a dessert, usually of vanilla gelato or ice cream "drowned" with a shot of expresso. "Espresso over ice cream. Can't…
Alphebetical for "i"
“I was very young when I learned to count. It was odd at first, even then”
Numbers are alternatively odd and even. "I was only young when I learned to count. It was odd at first, even then" was posted on Twitter by Lee Evans (and others) on April 13, 2011.…
“I was walking along the street the other day when I slipped in dog shit…” (joke)
A joke -- cited in pint since at least 1991 -- has a man walking on the sidewalk when he slips on dog shit. He gets up, and then another person slips on the same dog shit. "I just did…
“I was walking down the road and first got hit by a violin, then a clarinet and then a piano…”
An "orchestrated attack" is not necessarily an attack by an orchestra, but there are jokes. "I was walking down the road and first got hit by a violin, then a clarinet and then a…
“I was walking through college and my camouflage teacher said I haven’t seen you in class”
Some students skip class, but then run into the professor on the college campus. American stand-up comedian Emo Phillips made a joke: "I was in ROTC in college. I was walking across campus and…
“I washed my hands so much due to COVID-19 that my exam notes from 1995 resurfaced”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic caused many people to was their hands frequently. "I washed my hands so much due to #CODVID19, that my exam notes from 1995 resurfaced" was posted on…
“I wasn’t born in Texas, but I got here as fast as I could!”
"I wasn't born in Texas, but I got here as fast as I could!" is a popular bumper sticker that dates from at least 1994. T-Shirts N TexasI Wasn't Born in TexasAll Texans accept…
“I wasn’t born Republican, Democrat, or yesterday”
"I wasn't born yesterday" means that the speaker is not so naive as to believe certain faulty arguments or proposals. "I wasn't born Republican, Democrat, or…
“I wasn’t planning on going for a run today, but those cops came out of nowhere”
"I wasn't planning on going for a run today, but those cops came out of nowhere" is a jocular line about running that has been printed on many images. "I wasn't planning on…
“I wasn’t surprised when I was fired from my graffiti removal job. I saw the writing on the wall”
Many employees see "the writing on the wall" at their places of employment, an idiom meaning that the employment situation might be ending soon. A joke takes the idiom literally. "my…
“i wasn’t made to work a 9-5, i was made to swim in turquoise waters, eat fruit, and paint in a villa by the sea”
"i wasn’t made to work a 9-5, i was made to swim in turquoise waters, eat fruit, and paint in a villa by the sea" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The saying is an…
“I wasn’t sitting here awaiting govt guidance on whether I could celebrate Christmas this year”
During the COVID-19 (coronavirus) pandemic, politicians and government health agencies gave advice on how to celebrate Christmas. Many people ignored the advice and celebrated Christmas however…
“I wasn’t sure what to make for dinner, so I opened a bottle of wine and now I don’t care”
"I wasn’t sure what to make for dinner, so I opened a bottle of wine & now I don’t care. A lesson for us all there I think" is a wine saying that has been printed on many images.…
“I wasn’t sure whether I should get into the human trafficking business. But now I’m sold”
The expression "I'm sold" is usually not taken literally, but there are puns. This was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on December 13, 2017: "I wasn’t sure about getting involved in…
“I watched a film where a guy poured meat juices over a nonfiction book. It’s baste on a true story”
Many dramatic works are "based on a true story." If that story involves food, maybe it's "baste on a true story"? The pun was printed in the book Ridiculous Riddles (2003)…
“I watched a film where a guy poured meat juices over a nonfiction book. It’s baste on a true story”
Many dramatic works are "based on a true story." If that story involves food, maybe it's "baste on a true story"? The pun was printed in the book Ridiculous Riddles (2003)…
“I watched a movie about graphs. The special f(x) were terrible”
The mathematical term "f(x)" sounds like the word "effects." A joke was posted on Reddit -- Dadjokes on March 17, 2019: "I watched a movie about graphs last night, but I…
“I watched a movie documentary about the history of tea exports. It was rated PG tips”
PG Tips (a brand of tea in the United Kingdom) has nothing to do with the PG (parental guidance) movie rating, but there are jokes. "RT @sickipediabot: I've just watched a film that was…
“I watched my first porno today… I looked so much younger back then”
"I watched my first porno today... I looked so much younger back then" is a joke that has been printed on many images. The joke is that the person is not watching his/her first porn…
“I watched this play at a disadvantage—the curtain was up” (Broadway saying)
A good seat in a theater can sometimes add to the enjoyment of the entertainment; a bad seat can make the stage difficult to see or hear. A famous theatrical saying (cited in print since at least…