“I went to a fight and a hockey game broke out”
Fighting has long been a part of ice hockey. Comedian Rodney Dangerfield (1921-2004) -- who founded Dangerfield's comedy club in Manhattan -- made a popular joke about it in July 1978: "I…
Alphebetical for "i"
“I went to a German restaurant and ordered an omelette. I just got a plate with two dots on it!”
"Omelette" shouldn't be confused with "umlaut," but there are jokes. "German restaurant joke.... I went to a German restaurant and ordered an omelette....I just got a…
“I went to a market that only sold jelly and custard. It was a trifle bazaar”
"Trifle bizarre" (meaning "a bit strange") shouldn't be confused with "trifle bazaar" (meaning "a market that sells trifles"), but there are jokes.…
“I went to a meeting of recovering hackers. It was called Anonymous Anonymous”
There are many "Anonymous" help groups, like Alcoholics Anonymous. What would a hackers group be called? "What was the hackers' rehabilitation meeting called? Anonymous…
“I went to a protest last weekend and all I got was this lousy t shirt…and a TV…”
"My parent went to Florida and all I got was this lousy T-shirt" is a popular meme from the 1970s. June and July 2020 had protests and civil unrest (riots) following the death of George…
“I went to a really bad manicure competition yesterday. It was nail-biting”
"Nail-biting" means something that causes anxiety or suspense. This doesn't usually involve actual nail biting, but there are manicure joke. "Just been at the manicure would…
“I went to a restaurant and the food was all done with special effects. It was CGI Fridays”
A joke about the restaurant chain TGI Fridays is: "I went to a restaurant and the food was all done with special effects. It was CGI Fridays." "'I went to a restaurant and the…
“I went to a restaurant run by cows. They didn’t allow tipping”
Restaurant tipping is not the same as cow tipping, but there are jokes. "Why don’t cows work in restaurants? They kept getting tipped" was posted on Reddit -- Dadjokes on February 22,…
“I went to a Roman bathroom on the 6th floor. Yes, it was the VI P room”
A "VIP Room" is for Very Important Persons. A joke was posted on Reddit -- Dadjokes,/a> on October 15, 2020: "I went to a Roman bathroom on the 6th floor. Yes, it was the VI P…
“I went to a seafood disco last week…and pulled a mussel”
A popular seafood pun is: "I went to a seafood disco last week...and pulled a mussel." The "pulled a mussel/muscle" pun has been cited in print since at least 2003. Google…
“I went to a smoke shop, but it had been replaced by an apparel store. Clothes, but no cigar”
"Close, but no cigar" is a popular expression that has been the subject of several puns. "I asked my grandmother for "something Cuban" for my birthday, and she got me a Che…
“I went to a strip club for blind people. The girls there were dancing like nobody was watching”
"You’ve got to dance like nobody’s watchin’" is a lyric in the song "Come from the Heart" (1987). The meaning is to dance uninhibited. "Business idea: Strip club for…
“I went to a vegan prostitute last night and she gave me her peas”
"Herpes" (a disease) sounds like "her peas," and there have been many puns. "I once went out with a girl that gave me peas with my dinner, just so she could say she gave me…
“I went to a vegan restaurant last night. Was told the menu was quite tasty” (joke)
Saying "the menu was tasty" doesn't necessarily mean the actual menu, but a joke was posted on Sickipedia on February 20, 2018: "I went into a vegan restaurant as I was told the…
“I went to a zoo and it had only one animal—a dog. It was a Shih Tzu”
"I went to a zoo the other day and it had only one animal -- a dog. It was a Shih Tzu (shit zoo)" is a popular joke that has been printed on many images. The joke has been cited in print…
“I went to an acting class and a soccer game broke out”
Many people watching soccer (especially World Cup soccer) have long believed that the soccer players fall down and "act" to draw penalties on the opposing players. "I just went to a…
“I went to an open-air cafe yesterday and it rained. Took me two hours to finish my soup”
An old joke has it that someone went to a restaurant with a leaky roof -- and it took several hours to finish the soup. Another version is that the person went to an open-air restaurant, and that…
“I went to buy some bouillon cubes at the store today, but they were all out of stock”
"Out of stock" means that a business has no more of an item. It shouldn't be confused with the "stock" that is broth (bouillon), but there are jokes. "I went to buy…
“I went to cinema last night and saw a movie about cheese. It was G rated”
"G-rated" (a movie rating meaning "All ages admitted. Nothing that would offend parents for viewing by children") shouldn't be confused with "grated," but there…
“I went to Dan’s cafe, but was put off by the non-stop George Michael music. I’m never going to Dan’s again”
A joke on George Michael's song "Careless Whisper" (1984) was posted on Facebook by Tom Whiteman on July 3, 2018: "I popped in to a place called Dan's Cafe for a bite to…