“I need to start buying condiment colored shirts”
Many people get ketchup or mustard on their shirts, and the stains can be difficult to remove. "I need to start buying condiment colored shirts" was posted on Twitter by Jawbreaker on…
Alphebetical for "i"
“I need vitamin Cash”
"I need vitamin Cash" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The saying appears to be "I need vitamin C," with the letters "ash" written smaller. "I…
“I need y’all to drive with that same energy you pulled out in front of me with”
"I need y'all to drive with that same energy you pulled out in front of me with" (or "I need you to drive with the same energy you pulled out in front of me with") is a…
“I need you to drive with the same energy you pulled out in front of me with”
"I need y'all to drive with that same energy you pulled out in front of me with" (or "I need you to drive with the same energy you pulled out in front of me with") is a…
“I never dreamed about success. I worked for it” (Estée Lauder)
"I never dreamed about success. I worked for it" is a motivational saying that has been printed on many images. American businessperson Estée Lauder (1908-2004) -- born Josephine Esther…
“I never drink water; that is the stuff that rusts pipes”
The comic actor W. C. Fields (1880-1946) was known for drinking alcohol. He allegedly said that he didn't drink water because "that's the stuff that rusts pipes." Fields was…
“I never drink. I just disinfect internal injuries”
"I never drink. I just disinfect internal injuries" is a drinking saying that has been printed on many images. "'I never drink, I just disinfect internal injuries'. #quote…
“I never drive on back roads after smoking marijuana, because it’s not the high way”
A "highway" is not necessarily for people who are "high," but a joke was posted on Reddit -- Oneliners on July 10, 2018: "I never drive on back roads after smoking…
“I never eat in a restaurant that’s over a hundred feet off the ground and won’t stand still”
"I never eat in a restaurant that's over a hundred feet off the ground and won't stand still," wrote The New Yorker contributor Calvin Trillin in his book, American Fried…
“I never finish anyth”
"I never finish anyth" -- the word "anything" is unfinished -- is a jocular alcohol saying that has been printed on many images. "I never finish anyth” as been cited in…
“I never finish anything. I have a black belt in partial arts”
"I never finish anything. I have a black belt in partial arts" -- a pun on "martial arts" --was posted on Twitter by The Untastic Mr. Fitz on July 15, 2012. "I never finish…
“I never got a job from a poor person”
"I never got a job from a poor man/person" has been a popular conservative saying. The saying means that people who have money are job creators, and that overtaxing them and…
“I never joined the mile-high club because I don’t give a flying fuck”
People who have sex on flying aircraft are said to have joined the "mile-high club." A one-line joke is: "I never joined the mile-high club because I don't give a flying…
“I never knew I could drop out of school until the ‘Be cool, stay in school’ guy gave a speech”
"Be cool -- stay in school" is an education slogan that has been trademarked with a first use of 2016. Some people, however, didn't know that not going to school was a legal option.…
“I never laugh until I’ve had my coffee”
"I never laugh until I've had my coffee" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The saying is from the movie No Man of Her Own (1932), where the character "Babe"…
“I never make the same mistake twice. I make it five or six times, just to be sure”
"I never make the same mistake twice. I make it five or six times, just to be sure" is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on many images. The saying was posted on Twitter by…
“I never promised you a rose garden”
"I never promised you a rose garden" is a saying that was popularized as the title of a 1964 book by Hannah Green, the pen name of Brooklyn-born author Joanne Greenberg. The novel is…
“I never question myself. Why should I start now?”
"I never question myself. Why should I start now?" is a jocular saying that was posted on Twitter by "KD" on July 1, 2010. The second sentence jokes on the first.…
“I never realized how short a month is until I started paying bills”
"I never realized how short a month is until I started paying bills" -- that is, there's not enough money to pay monthly expenses -- is a one-line saying that has been printed on…
“I never realized how short a month was until I started paying bills”
"I never realized how short a month is until I started paying bills" -- that is, there's not enough money to pay monthly expenses -- is a one-line saying that has been printed on…