The 2019–20 coronavirus outbreak caused panic buying and shortages in toilet paper and hand sanitizer. "Two weeks left to stock up cookies! They're a lot easier to get than toilet…
"I never thought I'd be the kind of person who'd wake up early in the morning to exercise...And I was right" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "I…
Feng shui is a Chinese philosophical system of harmony that is reflected is many building designs. A "turn the tables" pun is often made. "People used to believe in Feng Shui. But…
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic caused many people to use alcohol-based sanitizers on their hands. "I never thought in my entire life that my hands would consume more alcohol than my…
"Iv never understood school shooting jokes. I guess they are aimed at a younger audience" is a dark humor joke that was posted on Twitter by January Q Systemfoo on June 2, 2014. "I…
"if you don’t like me there should be no reason why you have me on social media" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The saying was posted on Facebook by Dionna Dionna on…
There's a difference between dairy butter (a food product) and body butter (a skin product), but a joke is: "I never use body butter. I don't want to make myself irresistible to…
"Cold turkey" (an abrupt cessation of a substance dependence) has nothing to do with Thanksgiving leftovers, but there are jokes. "Show me a man who throws Thanksgiving leftovers in…
Entry in progress -- B.P. Wikiquote: W. C. FieldsW. C. Fields (29 January 1880 – 25 December 1946), born William Claude Dukenfield, was an American Actor and Comedian. Sourced. I never voted for…
Many people dislike Monday, which is the traditional start to the work week. "I no longer dislike Mondays, I'm mature now... I dislike the whole week" is a jocular saying that has…
Many people dislike Monday, which is the traditional start to the work week. "I no longer dislike Mondays, I'm mature now... I dislike the whole week" is a jocular saying that has…
"I no longer identify as a 'Conspiracy Theorist.' You may now refer to me as 'That bitch that was right the entire time'" (or "I no longer identify as a…
"I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may now change your Facebook status" -- a joke illustrating the importance of social media -- has been printed on several images. The usual…
A joke about ordering steak was posted on Twitter by Crap Jokes on April 1, 2015: "I occasionally enjoy having my steak undercooked...but that’s rare." The one-line saying has been…
Many skiing jokes have it that things started off OK, but "went downhill." "couple met on ski trip? .things went downhill after that" was posted on X/Twitter by Mick O Callaghan…
"I entered a kleptomania competition. I got gold, silver and bronze" was posted on Reddit -- Dadjokes on May 28, 2019, and again on Reddit -- Dadjokes on June 21, 2019. "I once…
Some people who work or who go to school can't "get the hang of it" (understand it). This expression usually has nothing to do with hanging, but there are jokes. "Why was the…
"I once had a job drilling holes in wood. It was really boring" was posted on the newsgroup alt.humor.puns on May 18, 1998. The pun plays on the two meanings of "boring."…
Piña colada (a cocktail) has nothing to do with subpoenas, but there are lawyer jokes. "Am I a lawyer? Lemme see ... I failed my bar exam (added too much rum to the subpoena colada), so the…
She Stoops to Conquer (1773) is a comedy by the Anglo-Irish author Oliver Goldsmith. A "conker" is a horse-chestnut. "I'm too old to go chucking sticks at the branches of a…