Anita Weiss was credited in 1993 for having said: "I moved to New York City for my health. I'm paranoid and it was the only place where my fears were justified." The quotation has…
Bob Uecker has a mediocre baseball playing career, but he achieved fame joking about it. In a Miller Lite beer commercial from 1984, Uecker says that the front office has given him tickets and he…
"I must get up. My coffee needs me" is a jocular coffee saying that has been printed on many images. "I should get up. My coffee needs me" was posted on Twitter on February 24,…
"I must have money because I still have checks left" is a humorous line about someone who can't budget money. "How could I be overdrawn? -- I still have checks left"…
"I named my eraser Confidence. Because it gets smaller after every mistake I make" is a joke that was posted on Reddit -- Cleanjokes on June 20, 2013. "Smaller and smaller" is…
The country of Hungary should not be confused with "hungry," but there are jokes. This was posted on Twitter by Taylor Burkhalter on January 6, 2018: "I was home for Christmas and my…
A joke has a person enter a clock store (or a battery store): Customer: I need a battery so I can tell the time.Employee: Is it for a clock?Customer: I don't know! That's why I need a…
"I need a coffee so strong that I forget my problems and possibly my name, too" is a jocular coffee saying that has been printed on several images. The saying was posted on Twitter by…
"I need a coffee, a vacation, and a bag full of cash. That's all" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "I need a coffee, a vacation and a bag full of cash. Thats…
"I need a glass of wine. Or a bottle. Or a winery in Italy" is a wine saying that has been printed on many images. "I need a glass of wine. Or a bottle. Or a winery would be…
"I need a hug, or a good cry. Or both, maybe a bottle of beer/vodka/wine" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "I need a hug, or a good cry, or both, or maybe a bottle…
"I need a hug, or a good cry. Or both, maybe a bottle of beer/vodka/wine" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "I need a hug, or a good cry, or both, or maybe a bottle…
"I need a hug, or a good cry. Or both, maybe a bottle of beer/vodka/wine" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "I need a hug, or a good cry, or both, or maybe a bottle…
"I need a hug...e bottle of wine" is a jocular wine saying that has been printed on many images. The saying was posted on Twitter on October 20, 2014. TwitterBrandy Sanchez…
"I need a maycation. I may come back and I may not" is a jocular work saying that has been printed on many images. "Maycation" is a portmanteau of "may" and…
"I need a six month vacation, twice a year" is a jocular work saying that has been printed on many images. The joke was posted on Twitter on August 22, 2010. "I NEED TO GO ON A SIX…
"I need a vacation, not a stupid weekend" is a jocular work saying that has been printed on many images. The saying was printed on Twitter on January 25, 2013. Twitter ☯ @suhlinggI…
A joke about scheduling an appointment was posted on Twitter by Marf on September 1, 2017: Me: I need a doctor's appointmentReceptionist: Ok [checks bookings] how about 10 tomorrow?Me: No I…
"Try my new recipe. They're called shut the fucupcakes" or "I just baked you some shut the fucupcakes" (shut the fuck up + cupcakes) is a food saying that has been printed…
"I'm not a morning person. I drink coffee because morning people exist and they keep trying to talk to me" (or "I need coffee because morning people exist and they keep trying…