“I moved into a bungalow. I wanted a house, but that’s another story”
A "story" ("storey" in the United Kingdom) is another floor of a building. One joke is: "I moved into a bungalow recently. Was going to move into a house, but that's…
Alphebetical for "i"
“I moved into an apartment over a bank. My assets over five million dollars”
A money joke was told by The Unknown Comic (Murray Langston) on television's The Gong Show (1976-1980): "I got an apartment over a bank. Now my assets over 10 million dollars." The…
“I moved to New York for my health. I’m paranoid and my fears were justified”
Anita Weiss was credited in 1993 for having said: "I moved to New York City for my health. I'm paranoid and it was the only place where my fears were justified." The quotation has…
“I must be in the front row”
Bob Uecker has a mediocre baseball playing career, but he achieved fame joking about it. In a Miller Lite beer commercial from 1984, Uecker says that the front office has given him tickets and he…
“I must get up. My coffee needs me”
"I must get up. My coffee needs me" is a jocular coffee saying that has been printed on many images. "I should get up. My coffee needs me" was posted on Twitter on February 24,…
“I must have money because I still have checks left”
"I must have money because I still have checks left" is a humorous line about someone who can't budget money. "How could I be overdrawn? -- I still have checks left"…
“I named my eraser Confidence. Because it gets smaller after every mistake I make”
"I named my eraser Confidence. Because it gets smaller after every mistake I make" is a joke that was posted on Reddit -- Cleanjokes on June 20, 2013. "Smaller and smaller" is…
“I named my stomach Budapest, Because it is the capital of Hungry”
The country of Hungary should not be confused with "hungry," but there are jokes. This was posted on Twitter by Taylor Burkhalter on January 6, 2018: "I was home for Christmas and my…
“I need a battery so I can tell the time.”/“Is it for a clock?” (joke)
A joke has a person enter a clock store (or a battery store): Customer: I need a battery so I can tell the time.Employee: Is it for a clock?Customer: I don't know! That's why I need a…
“I need a coffee so strong that I forget my problems and possibly my name, too”
"I need a coffee so strong that I forget my problems and possibly my name, too" is a jocular coffee saying that has been printed on several images. The saying was posted on Twitter by…
“I need a coffee, a vacation, and a bag full of cash. That’s all”
"I need a coffee, a vacation, and a bag full of cash. That's all" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "I need a coffee, a vacation and a bag full of cash. Thats…
“I need a glass of wine. Or a bottle. Or a winery in Italy”
"I need a glass of wine. Or a bottle. Or a winery in Italy" is a wine saying that has been printed on many images. "I need a glass of wine. Or a bottle. Or a winery would be…
“I need a hug, or a good cry. Or both, maybe a bottle of beer”
"I need a hug, or a good cry. Or both, maybe a bottle of beer/vodka/wine" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "I need a hug, or a good cry, or both, or maybe a bottle…
“I need a hug, or a good cry. Or both, maybe a bottle of vodka”
"I need a hug, or a good cry. Or both, maybe a bottle of beer/vodka/wine" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "I need a hug, or a good cry, or both, or maybe a bottle…
“I need a hug, or a good cry. Or both, maybe a bottle of wine”
"I need a hug, or a good cry. Or both, maybe a bottle of beer/vodka/wine" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "I need a hug, or a good cry, or both, or maybe a bottle…
“I need a hug…e bottle of wine”
"I need a hug...e bottle of wine" is a jocular wine saying that has been printed on many images. The saying was posted on Twitter on October 20, 2014. TwitterBrandy Sanchez…
“I need a maycation. I may come back and I may not”
"I need a maycation. I may come back and I may not" is a jocular work saying that has been printed on many images. "Maycation" is a portmanteau of "may" and…
“I need a six month vacation, twice a year”
"I need a six month vacation, twice a year" is a jocular work saying that has been printed on many images. The joke was posted on Twitter on August 22, 2010. "I NEED TO GO ON A SIX…
“I need a vacation, not a stupid weekend”
"I need a vacation, not a stupid weekend" is a jocular work saying that has been printed on many images. The saying was printed on Twitter on January 25, 2013. Twitter ☯ @suhlinggI…
“I need an appointment.”/“How about 10 tomorrow?”/“No, I don’t need that many.”
A joke about scheduling an appointment was posted on Twitter by Marf on September 1, 2017: Me: I need a doctor's appointmentReceptionist: Ok [checks bookings] how about 10 tomorrow?Me: No I…