“I knew a guy who collected candy canes. They were all in mint condition”
Are candy canes always in "mint" (peppermint) condition? "I might as well reuse last year's candy canes. After all, they are in mint condition" was posted on Twitter on…
Alphebetical for "i"
“I knew I was going to take the wrong train, so I left early”
New York Yankee catcher Yogi Berra is known for his quotations ("Berraisms") as well as his play. The Yankees were playing the Brooklyn Dodgers in the 1947 World Series, and Berra was…
“I knew school wasn’t for me when I cheated on a test and still failed”
Failing a test is bad. Failing an open book test very bad. Cheating and still failing a test is also very bad. "#worstfeeling cheating on a test and still failing smh" was posted on…
“I knew school wasn’t for me when I failed an open book test”
Failing a test is bad. Failing an open book test very bad. Cheating and still failing a test is also very bad. "#worstfeeling cheating on a test and still failing smh" was posted on…
“I knew summer was coming and I just kept eating”
People usually try to get in shape for the summer, when the weather is warmer and they will be wearing less clothing. "You knew summer was coming and you just kept eating" (or "You…
“I knew the psychic was no good the moment she accepted my check”
"I knew the psychic was no good the moment she accepted my check" is a joke that has been printed on many images. That is, the speaker wrote a check on insufficient funds, but the psychic…
“I know a bunch of good jokes about umbrellas, but they usually go over people’s heads”
"I know a lot of very clever jokes about umbrellas, but they usually go over peoples heads" was posted on Twitter by BIG_BEAR_F1 on September 7, 2010. "I know a lot of…
“I know a bunch of good puns about umbrellas but they usually go over people’s heads”
"I know a lot of very clever jokes about umbrellas, but they usually go over peoples heads" was posted on Twitter by BIG_BEAR_F1 on September 7, 2010. "I know a lot of…
“I know a guy who’s addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time”
"I know a guy who’s addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time" is a joke about addiction that has been posted on many images. "The man addicted to brake fluid said he…
“I know a lot of clever jokes about umbrellas, but they usually go over people’s heads”
"I know a lot of very clever jokes about umbrellas, but they usually go over peoples heads" was posted on Twitter by BIG_BEAR_F1 on September 7, 2010. "I know a lot of…
“I know a lot of jokes about retired people, but none of them work”
"I know a lot of jokes about retired people, but none of them work" is a jokes that has been printed on several iamges. "I know a lot of jokes about retired people. But none of them…
“I know a mathematician who couldn’t afford lunch. He could binomial”
A math pun using the word "binomial" is: "I know a mathematician who couldn't afford to buy lunch. He could binomial (buy no meal)." The joke was posted on the Pun of the…
“I know alcohol isn’t the answer, but it’s my best guess”
"I know alcohol isn't the answer, but it's always my best guess" is a jocular one-liner that has been printed on many ecards. "I know alcohol is never the answer, but…
“I know an introverted entrepreneur in the coal industry. He mined his own business”
"Mind your business" shouldn't be confused with "mined your business," but there are jokes. "I sell coal for a living because I took everyone's advice and mined…
“I know every single digit of pi. Just not in the right order”
The number π ("pi") is a mathematical constant, the ratio of a circle's circumference to its diameter. The first digits are 3.14159. "I know every digit of pi in base 10!…
“I know Facebook has never caused the lame to walk, but it sure has caused the dumb to speak”
"The people were amazed when they saw the mute speaking, the crippled made well, the lame walking and the blind seeing. And they praised the God of Israel" is from Matthew 15:31.There are…
“I know how to do anything. I’m a mom”
"I know how to do anything. I'm a mom" is a popular Mother's Day quotation that has been printed on many images. American actress and comedian Roseanne Barr said it on the…
“I know how to load more than a washer & dryer” (pro-gun slogan)
"I know how to load more than a washer & dryer" is a pro-gun saying that has been printed on many shirts. "Dear guys, I know how to load more than the washer and dryer.…
“I know HTML (How To Meet Ladies)”
"HTML" usually stands for "Hypertext Markup Language," the standard markup language for creating web pages. A backronym (back acronym) joke has been printed on many images:…
“I know I’m drinking myself to a slow death, but then I’m in no hurry”
Entry in progress -- B.P. Wikiquote: Robert BenchleyRobert Charles Benchley (September 15, 1889 – November 21, 1945) was an American humorist, critic and actor.(...)So who's in a hurry?. To…