Many people who go to the gym to work out have a personal trainer. Are there impersonal trainers? "I have an impersonal trainer. We meet at the gym, we don't talk, he works out alone and…
"I have an inferiority complex, but it's (just) not a very good one" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "I have an inferiority complex, but it is not a…
"I have an open door policy. You bring beer, I'll open the door" is a saying, with many variations, that has been printed on many images "Open Door Policy. Show up with Wine,…
X/Twitter olivia @oliviuuuuhh have clicked ‘remind me tomorrow’ every day for 8 years on computer update notification cause it’s part of my nighttime routine now 9:13 PM · Sep 12, 2022 ,a…
An Apple Watch is not the same as watching apples, but there are jokes. "The only 'Apple watch' I'll be doing this autumn is at an orchard #amirite" was posted on Twitter…
The Fox News Channel doesn't usually have news about foxes, but there are jokes. "I have been watching Fox News for six hours and there has been no news about foxes.…
Boyce House told the following joke in his 1955 book, You Can Always Tell a Texan (But You Can't Tell Him Much): "A man who was just getting over a spree entered a Dallas cafe and sat…
"I have certain rules I live by. My first rule: I don't believe anything the government tells me. Nothing. Zero" is a saying credited to American stand-up comedian George Carlin…
Some people would rather fake it than exercise. This was posted on Twitter by MomofTeen on April 19, 2018: "I have decided to stop exercising and just learn Photoshop."…
"I have discovered the dark matter that holds life together... it's called coffee" is a saying that has been printed on many images. A picture of German-born theoretical physicist…
"I've done some terrible things for money, like getting up early and going to work" (or "I have done terrible things for money, like getting up early to go to work") is a…
Entry in progress -- B.P. Wikipedia: Jackie MasonJackie Mason (born June 9, 1931) is an American stand-up comedian and film and television actor. He is ranked #63 on Comedy Central's 100…
"I think I’m approaching my 'Best If Used By' date" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. A "Best If Used By" date usually applies to foods, not…
Some people don't have peer pressure to do drugs, but have pressure to eat certain "healthy" foods. This was posted on X/Twitter by Kei Lun 麒麟 on May 8, 2021, and received over…
"I have found the key to happiness. Stay the hell away from assholes" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "I have found the key to keeping a positive attitude.…
People who have furniture that goes back to the era of Louis XIV (1638-1715) like to brag about it, and there's a popular joke. "I have furniture that goes back to Louis the 14th... that…
Someone who is said to have "ice in his/her veins" is someone who is cool under pressure. "Ice in his veins" has been cited in print since at least the early 1900s, and has been…
"I have joined the war on drugs on the side of drugs" (or "I'm joining the war on drugs on the side of drugs") is a saying that has been printed on many images. "I’m…
"I have kids. Park too close and I'll ding your shit" is a car sign that has been printed on many images. "Ding your shit" means "door ding your car." "I…
"I have kids. Park too close and I'll ding your shit" is a car sign that has been printed on many images. "Ding your shit" means "door ding your car." "I…