“Pay phones should be replaced with chargers for cell phones”
Pay phones have mostly been replaced by cell phones. "Pay phones should be replaced with chargers for cell phones" was posted on Twitter by Anthony FUNConnell on January 14, 2013.…
“With great reflexes comes great response ability”
"With great power comes great responsibility" is a saying that was popularized in Spider-Man comic books. "With great reflexes comes great response ability" is a jocular…
“How many frat boys does it take to change a light bulb?”/“None, they prefer natural light.”
There have been several versions of fraternities and beer in the traditional lightbulb joke. This is from 1984: Q: How many frat guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?A: Three: One to screw it…
“It’s okay password, I’m insecure too”
If a password comes back as "insecure," are its feelings hurt? "Don't worry password, I'm insecure, too" or "It's okay password, I'm insecure too"…
“I’ve never understood the point in fire blankets” (joke)
Fire blankets, like fire extinguishers, are used in many buildings. The blankets are used to retard fire -- not to keep people warm. A joke from someone who doesn't understand about fire…
“Finish your salad. A thousand islands died to make that dressing”
There aren't a thousand islands in each bottle of "Thousand Island dressing," but there have been jokes. Rachelle Mandik posted on Twitter on January 21, 2016: "Finish your…
“Don’t promise when you’re happy, don’t reply when you’re angry, don’t decide when sad”
"Don't promise when you're happy. Don't reply when you're angry. Don't decide when you're sad" are some rules of advice that have been printed on many…
“What cereal makes fun of you but doesn’t mean it?”/“We tease.”
"Wheaties" cereal sounds like "we tease." A pun was posted on Twitter by Kevin McCallister on December 9, 2016: Q: What cereal makes fun of you but doesn’t mean it?A: We…
“My wife’s a peach—she has a heart of stone”
To say that a person is a "peach" means that this person is admirable or pleasing. "Joe: My math teacher is a peach! Sam: You mean she is pretty? Joe: No, she has a heart of…
Firegeddon (fire + Armageddon)
"Firegeddon" (fire + Armageddon) is a portmanteau word for a disastrous fire. "Firegeddon: Cops battle new riots across London" was posted on Twitter on August 8, 2011.…
NFHell (NFL + hell)
The National Football League (NFL) is a professional American football league, headquartered in New York City. The NFL has been dubbed "NFHell" or "NFhell" or "NFhelL"…
“It was so cold that I chipped a tooth on my soup”
Could it be so cold that people eat frozen food? "Top Ten Signs It's Too Damn Cold (...) 3. President Clinton chipped a tooth on a french fry" was broadcast on the New York…
“What’s the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the normal alphabet?” (riddle)
"Noel" sounds like "no L." A joke about the "Christmas alphabet" having "no L" has been cited in print to at least 1951. The riddle form is: Q: What's…
“It was so cold that when we milked the cows, we got ice cream”
Milk doesn't turn into ice cream when it's cold, but that's an old joke. "It was so cold that when I milked old Betsy I got ice cream," a 1959 newspaper printed. Chocolate…
“It was so cold that I saw chickens lined up for KFC’s deep fryer”
"It was so cold that I saw chickens lined up for KFC's deep fryer" is a joke about extremely cold weather that has been printed on many images. "It was so cold in New York City…
“I don’t celebrate Christmas, but I do enjoy the festive drinks. You could say I’m eggnogstic”
"Eggnogstic" (eggnog + agnostic) is a jocular term that has been cited in print since at least 1885. Various definitions have been given. "If I don't like egg nog, does that…
No Fan Left or No Fans Left (National Football League or NFL nickname)
The National Football League (NFL) is a professional American football league, headquartered in New York City. The NFL has been dubbed "No Fan Left" or "No Fans Left" by those…
“I saw a sign for a suicide helpline on the back of a bus. It would work much better on the front”
Some people commit suicide by throwing themselves in front of buses. "Today I saw a sign for a suicide helpline on the back of a bus. I couldn't help but think, it would work much better…
“Your government is imploding. Stay calm and make your way to the nearest conspiracy theorist”
A political image reads: "WARNINGYOUR GOVERNMENT IS IMPLODING BEFORE YOUR EYES. STAY CALM AND MAKE YOUR WAY TO THE NEAREST 'CONSPIRACY THEORIST' FOR FURTHER DIRECTION"…
“Welcome to Twitter. Please stand by, someone will disagree with you shortly”
Twitter is an online news and social networking service; its users have many disagreements. "Welcome to twitter where everyone either has 'someone' to agree/disagree with, or…