“Just walked past a sign that read, ‘This fire door is alarmed’” (joke)
"The fire door is alarmed" is a typical building sign, but it's sometimes joked that the door is "alarmed" because it has a human personality. "So I passed a door with…
“You can tell Santa is a man because no woman would ever wear the same outfit every year”
Several jocular arguments have been made to determine if Santa Claus is a woman or a man. A strong point for the proposition that Santa is a man was posted on the newsgroup alt.humor on December 4,…
“It cost me $500 to fly economy class. What a waste of money. I still know nothing about economics”
There's a difference between "economy class" and "economics class." "Me: What do you know about economics? My brother: Don't they use that in the airplane? You…
“It cost me $500 to fly economy class. What a waste of money. I still know nothing about economics”
There's a difference between "economy class" and "economics class." "Me: What do you know about economics? My brother: Don't they use that in the airplane? You…
“What’s red, white and blue at Christmas time?”/“A sad candy cane.”
The American flag is red, white and blue. Candy canes are usually white, with red stripes. A riddle was printed in Boys' Life magazine in March 1980: Teacher: What's red, white, and blue?…
“I walked up to reception in the hotel and said, ‘Sorry, but I forgot what room I’m in’” (joke)
Hotel guests often forget their rooms. A joke was posted on Twitter by sickipediabot on March 12, 2012: "I walked up to reception in the hotel and said, 'Sorry but I forgot what room…
“I can only sleep on stacks of old magazines. I’ve got back issues”
There have been several magazine puns on the term "back issues." "Did you hear about the woman who kept hurting herself lifting her boxes of old magazines? She had a lot of back…
“A ventriloquist walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A ventriloquist version has been cited in print since at least 2013: "A ventriloquist…
“Parking—an average sovereign”
The word "parking" doesn't consist of a "par king," but a joke was posted on the website Pun of the Day on December 25, 2014: "Parking - an average sovereign."…
“Why do people eat pretzels since they are knot food?”
Pretzels are baked bread often -- but not always -- shaped into a twisted knot. "Why do people eat pretzels since they are knot food? (Pun of the Day)" -- from the website Pun of the Day…
“What’s the worst thing to find in stockings at Christmas?”/“Your dad.”
The Christmas stocking is an old tradition. A joke was posted on Twitter by James Martin on December 1, 2014: Q. What's the worst thing to find in stockings at Christmas?A. Your dad.…
“Where does seaweed go to look for a job?”/“The Kelp Wanted section.”
Many newspapers have a "help wanted" section. Kelp isn't that wanted, but there's a riddle: Q: Where does seaweed go to look for a job?A: The "Kelp Wanted" section of…
“Where does seaweed go to look for a job?”/“The Kelp Wanted section.”
Many newspapers have a "help wanted" section. Kelp isn't that wanted, but there's a riddle: Q: Where does seaweed go to look for a job?A: The "Kelp Wanted" section of…
“Upkeep of most Chinese restaurants is Lo Meintenance”
The Chinese dish of "lo mein" has spawned some "lo meintenance" (lo mein + low maintenance) puns. " Lo Meintenance" was posted on the newsgroup…
“Waiters bring a lot to the table”
The expression "bring to the table" means what assets one has to offer, but a pun often involves waiters/waitresses at a restaurant. "Waitresses are good at negotiations, they bring…
“Why did Santa’s little helpers sit outside the restaurant?”/“They wanted to eat elfresco.”
A Christmas riddle is: Q: Why did Santa's little helpers choose the outside table?A: They wanted to eat elfresco. "Elfresco" (elf + al fresco) is a portmanteau word. The riddle was…
“Snow is like a man” or “Snow is like sex” or “Sex is like snow” (joke)
"Snow is like a man" or "Snow is like sex" or "Sex is like snow" or "Sex is like a snowstorm" is the start of an old joke that has been printed on many…
“Tetris taught me that when you try to fit in, you’ll disappear”
"Tetris taught me that when you try to fit in, you’ll disappear" is a saying about the tile-matching puzzle video game that has been printed on many images. "Tetris taught me that,…
“This is a terrible spell of wheather”
A "terrible spell of weather" doesn't usually involve spelling the word "weather," but there have been puns. "This is a terrible spell of wheather" was posted on…
“Where does Santa stay when he is on holiday?”/“In a ho-ho-hotel.”
A Santa Claus riddle for Christmas is: Q: Where does Santa stay when he is on holiday?A: In a ho-ho-hotel. The "ho-ho-tel" joke was printed in Boys' Life magazine in December 1983.…