“What do you call a vegan fighting style?”/“Tofu.”
"Tofu" (a food) is very different from "kung fu" (a Chinese martial art), but there have been jokes -- especially involving toes. "What is tofu made of? My guess, toes and…
“What kind of ants are very learned?”/“Pedants.”
An ant riddle is: Q: What kind of ants are very learned?A: Pedants. The "pedant" pun has been cited in print since at least 1999. Google BooksThe Silly Little Book of Animal JokesBy…
“Diner: Do you have a bathroom? Waiter: No, we go outside.”
A house guest (or someone in a restaurant or a store) might ask, "Do you have a bathroom?" This really means, "Where is the bathroom and I can use it now?" However, a literal,…
“I think I’ve been eating too much salmon recently. I keep running up down escalators”
If you eat too much salmon, you don't necessarily turn into a salmon and start spawning. This joke was posted on Twitter by Sickipedia Official on December 28, 2013: "I think I've…
“I saw trombone players at the park today. Couldn’t swing and kept complaining about the slide”
A trombone riddle was posted on Twitter on April 7, 2012: Q: Why is it no fun to go the park with a trombone player? A: They can’t swing and complain about the slide. Forms of the…
“I saw trombone players at the park today. Couldn’t swing and kept complaining about the slide”
A trombone riddle was posted on Twitter on April 7, 2012: Q: Why is it no fun to go the park with a trombone player? A: They can’t swing and complain about the slide. Forms of the…
“Do you have a bathroom?”/“No, we shit outside in the yard.”
A house guest (or someone in a restaurant or a store) might ask, "Do you have a bathroom?" This really means, "Where is the bathroom and I can use it now?" However, a literal,…
“Doing squats so my ass matches my sass”
"Doing squats so my ass matches my sass" (or "I squat so my ass matches my sass") is a motivational gym saying that has been printed on many images. "Squats. So my ass…
“I run on caffeine, grease, loud music and cuss words”
"I run on coffee, chaos and cuss words" is a one-line saying that has been printed on many images. There have been many "I run on..." variations. "I run on #coffee and cuss…
“I run on diesel, caffeine and cuss words”
"I run on coffee, chaos and cuss words" is a one-line saying that has been printed on many images. There have been many "I run on..." variations. "I run on #coffee and cuss…
“I run on diesel, caffeine and cuss words”
"I run on coffee, chaos and cuss words" is a one-line saying that has been printed on many images. There have been many "I run on..." variations. "I run on #coffee and cuss…
“I run on caffeine, cats and cuss words”
"I run on coffee, chaos and cuss words" is a one-line saying that has been printed on many images. There have been many "I run on..." variations. "I run on #coffee and cuss…
“What kind of doctor fixes broken websites?”/“A URLologist.”
A website riddle is: Q: What kind of doctor fixes broken websites?A: A URLologist. "URLologist" combines "URL" ("Uniform Resource Locator" or "web address")…
“What do you call a fancy hotel that is hard to find?”/“The Waldo Astoria.”
A joke combines the Where's Waldo? children's puzzle books with the Waldorf Astoria New York luxury hotel. "Where's Waldo Astoria Hotel #LesserNYLandmarks" was posted on…
“Instead of saying ‘real life,’ we should just call it ‘offline’”
Is real life something other than on the internet? A one-liner was posted by "blank" on Twitter on September 25, 2011: "Instead of saying 'real life' we should just call it…
“What did the sandwich say to the doorman?”/“Please lettuce in.”
A sandwich riddle was posted on Reddit -- Badjokes on September 12, 2017: Q: What did the sandwich say to the doorman?A: "Please lettuce in." "Lettuce" sounds like "let…
“Never trust a fat motivational speaker”
"Never trust a fat motivational speaker" was posted on Twitter on October 13, 2011. "I could never listen to a fat motivational speaker...why couldn't they motivate themselves…
“I run on coffee and cuss words”
"I run on coffee, chaos and cuss words" is a one-line saying that has been printed on many images. There have been many "I run on..." variations. "I run on #coffee and cuss…
“I run on coffee, chaos and cuss words”
"I run on coffee, chaos and cuss words" is a one-line saying that has been printed on many images. There have been many "I run on..." variations. "I run on #coffee and cuss…
“Waterboarding at Guantanamo Bay sounds rad if you don’t know what either of these things are”
"Waterboarding at Guantanamo Bay" sounds like surfboarding on some exotic beach, but it is not. It means water torture at the Guantanamo Bay detention camp (a United States military…