“What’s the fastest way to transfer money?”/“Get married.”
What's the fastest way to transfer money? "Electronic Banking is a fast way to transfer money. Marriage is an even faster way" was posted on Twitter on April 17, 2009. "2nd…
“Where’s the cheese grater?”/“Some say France…”
"Grater" sounds like the word "greater." A joke was posted on Twitter on June 13, 2012: "My wife was preparing lunch today when she asked, 'Where's the cheese…
“How do hens encourage their football teams?”/“They egg them on.”
A hen riddle is: Q: How do hens encourage their football teams?A: They egg them on. The joke has been cited in print since at least 2001. 20 May 2001, Sunday Telegraph (Surry Hills, New South…
“Idioms are not my cup of tea”
The expression "cup of tea" (or "not my cup of tea") means a preference. "Idioms are not my cup of tea" was posted on Twitter by Jenny Wade on March 27, 2012.…
“Trucks carrying beef and beans collided. It caused chili con carnage”
"Chili con carnage" (chili con carne + carnage) is a jocular portmanteau term. "A lorry carrying spicy beef collided with a lorry carrying rice. It caused chilli con carnage"…
“What kind of ant is good at math?”/“An accountant.”
An ant riddle is: Q: What kind of ant is good at math?A: An accountant. The "account-ant"/"accountant" joke has been cited in print since at least 2001. 6 May 2001, Sunday…
“What is the definition of ‘derange’?”/“De place where de cowboys ride.”
A cowboy riddle is: Q: What is the definition of "derange"?A: De place where de cowboys ride. The "derange"/"the range" pun has been cited in print since at least…
“At the university, I made videos of urine at different resolutions. I even got a pee HD”
A "Ph.D" (doctorate degree) shouldn't be confused with "pee HD" (urine in high definition), but there are jokes. "At the university, I used to make videos of people…
“Kicking sand on the beach is wrong, in some people’s eyes”
"Throwing acid is wrong -- in some people's eyes" is a jocular saying ("in some people's eyes" is an expression usually not meant to be taken literally) that has been…
“I’m on the third cheat year of my diet”
Some diets have "cheat days" (such as a Friday or a birthday) where the dieter is allowed to go off the diet for that day. A joke is that some "dieters" take cheat years.…
“There are over 4 million workplace injuries reported every year. Play it safe—call in sick”
"There are over 4 million workplace injuries reported every year. Play it safe -- call in sick tomorrow" is a jocular work saying that has been printed on several images. The saying was…
“Throwing acid is wrong—in some people’s eyes”
"Throwing acid is wrong -- in some people's eyes" is a jocular saying ("in some people's eyes" is an expression usually not meant to be taken literally) that has been…
“Computers can do more work than people because they never have to stop and answer the phone”
"One reason computers can do more work than humans is that they never have to stop to answer the phone" is a jocular line that was printed in several newspaper ads for several different…
“Computer: An electronic time-saving device that is commonly used for time-wasting activities”
A jocular definition of "computer" has been printed on an image: "Computer: An electronic time-saving device that is commonly used for time-wasting activities." "Computer…
“Procrastinators are the leaders of tomorrow”
"Procrastinators are the leaders of tomorrow" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. They saying was posted on Twitter on February 21, 2007, and is of unknown…
“A parking meter is a device that enables you to do two hours’ shopping in one”
Parking meters often have a maximum of one hour -- otherwise, people would leave their cars longer. "Parking meter — A device that enables you to do two hours' shopping in one" is…
“What do you say to a vegetarian in a coma?”/“You are what you eat.”
Jean Anthelme Brillat-Savarin (1755-1826), in the book Physiologie du Gout (1825), wrote "Tell me what you eat, and I shall tell you what you are," often interpreted as "you are what…
“Science: If you don’t make mistakes, you’re doing it wrong”
A popular image about science is: "Science:If you don't make mistakes, you're doing it wrong.If you don't correct those mistakes, you're doing it really wrong.If you…
“How do you catch a drummer?”/“With a snare.”
A drummer riddle is: Q: How do you catch a drummer?A: With a snare. "How do you catch a drummer? a really tight snare! (ba-dun-shhh)" was posted on Twitter on March 31, 2010. "How do…
“Why did the coffee get in trouble?”/“Because it was not tea.”
"Naughty" sounds like "not tea." A coffee riddle is: Q: Why did the coffee get in trouble?A: Because it was not tea (naughty). "Why did coffee get into trouble? Cause it…