“Ah, Monday. My coffee is strong and my motivation is fictitious”
"Ah, Monday. My coffee is strong and my motivation is fictitious" is a saying that was posted on Facebook by Coffee on November 25, 2024. The saying (shown on an image) was posted on…
“As a man, you should never watch your woman struggle to pay bills. Dump her and find one with some money”
"As a man, you should never watch your woman struggle to pay bills. Dump her and find one with some money" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "As a man, you…
“As a man, you should never sit there and watch your woman struggle to pay bills. Dump her and find you one with money”
"As a man, you should never watch your woman struggle to pay bills. Dump her and find one with some money" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "As a man, you…
“Lord, help me be the kind of person my dog thinks I am”
"I want to be the person my dog thinks i am" is a saying that has been printed on many images. There have been many slightly different forms of the saying. Dog owners want to feel…
“X is a modern day version of having an imaginary friend”
Some people view the social media site X (formerly called Twitter) as an "imaginary friend." "twitter is just a version of having an imaginary friend" was posted on X/Twitter by…
“Twitter is basically the modern version of having an imaginary friend”
Some people view the social media site X (formerly called Twitter) as an "imaginary friend." "twitter is just a version of having an imaginary friend" was posted on X/Twitter by…
“When I go to someone’s house & they tell me to make myself at home, the first thing I do is throw them out because I don’t like visitors”
"When I go to someone's house & they tell me to make myself at home, the first thing I do is throw them out because I don't like visitors" is a jocular saying that has been…
“Somebody gonna have to casseroll me outta here”
People who eat too much casserole need to be "casserolled" from the dining table. "Casseroll" is a jocular portmanteau word from "casserole" and "roll."…
Casseroll (casserole + roll)
People who eat too much casserole need to be "casserolled" from the dining table. "Casseroll" is a jocular portmanteau word from "casserole" and "roll."…
“I read the instructions on a ready meal lasagne. It said, ‘Remove cardboard sleeve and film.’ Most boring home movie ever”
The frozen food instructions "remove cardboard sleeve and film" doesn't mean to film the dish, but there are jokes. "'Remove cardboard sleeve and film', so I did. My…
“Maybe Dracula is angry all the time because he can’t eat garlic bread”
A vampire, such as Count Dracula, is afraid of garlic. "Maybe Dracula is always angry cause he can't eat garlic bread" was posted on X/Twitter by SnipurrKat on Novembe 13, 2016.…
“Welcome to winter parking, where the spots are made up and the lines don’t matter”
"Welcome to winter, where parking spots are made up and the lines don't matter" (or "Welcome to winter parking, where the spots are made up and the lines don't…
“Welcome to winter, where parking spots are made up and the lines don’t matter”
"Welcome to winter, where parking spots are made up and the lines don't matter" (or "Welcome to winter parking, where the spots are made up and the lines don't…
“I like to put up Christmas decorations in stages. This is the stage where I sit on the couch with lasagna and stare at the boxes”
Many people put up Christmas decorations in stages. "I like to put up Christmas decorations in stages. This is the stage where I sit on the couch with lasagna and stare at the boxes" was…
“Sorry. Can’t. Sundays are when I focus my anxieties on several unpleasant hypothetical situations that could happen this week”
Sunday is a day for people to get nervous about the coming week. "Sorry. Can't. Sundays are when I focus my anxieties on several unpleasant hypothetical situations that could happen this…
“Sorry. Can’t. Sunday nights are when I focus my anxieties on several unpleasant hypothetical situations that could happen this week”
Sunday is a day for people to get nervous about the coming week. "Sorry. Can't. Sundays are when I focus my anxieties on several unpleasant hypothetical situations that could happen this…
“I like to put up Christmas decorations in stages. This is the stage where I sit on the couch with snacks and stare at the boxes”
Many people put up Christmas decorations in stages. "I like to put up Christmas decorations in stages. This is the stage where I sit on the couch with lasagna and stare at the boxes" was…
“How do you prepare your turkey for Thanksgiving?”/“Oh, I just tell him he’s going to die.”
"Preparing" a turkey usually means cooking instructions, but not according to a Thanksgiving/Christmas turkey joke. This was posted on the newsgroup alt.humor on December 21, 2002:…
“How do you prepare your turkey for Christmas?”/“Oh, I just tell him he’s going to die.”
"Preparing" a turkey usually means cooking instructions, but not according to a Thanksgiving/Christmas turkey joke. This was posted on the newsgroup alt.humor on December 21, 2002:…
“Dear God, please help me to be the person my dog thinks I am”
"I want to be the person my dog thinks i am" is a saying that has been printed on many images. There have been many slightly different forms of the saying. Dog owners want to feel…