“How do you prepare your turkey for Christmas?”/“Oh, I just tell him he’s going to die.”
“Preparing” a turkey usually means cooking instructions, but not according to a Thanksgiving/Christmas turkey joke. This was posted on the newsgoup Google Groups: alt.humor on December 21, 2002:
“May I take your Christmas lunch order?” the waiter asked.
“Yes, but first i’d like to know how do you prepare your turkeys?”
“Nothing special sir,” he replied. “We just tell them straight out that they’re going to die.”
“The best way to prepare a turkey for thanksgiving ; look at him straight in the eye and tell him he is going to die 🙁” was posted on Facebook by Januario Enriquez on November 17, 2010.
“How does this restaurant prepare the chicken?” is a similar joke.
Google Groups: alt.humor
How To Prepare the Turkey
C e r b e r u s - The Dog Of Hell
Dec 21, 2002, 5:50:59 PM
“May I take your Christmas lunch order?” the waiter asked.
“Yes, but first i’d like to know how do you prepare your turkeys?”
“Nothing special sir,” he replied. “We just tell them straight out that they’re going to die.”
Facebook
Wendy Menke
December 29, 2008 at 7:26 PM ·
How to prepare a turkey, First you sit down with the bird and then you say “turkey to day you are going to die”.
Facebook
Mark Smith
December 26, 2009 at 5:25 PM ·
i got asked today “how did you prepare your turkey for christmas” i said ” i gave it to it straight. I said YOU’RE GOING TO DIE, and put it in the oven….....”
Facebook
Januario Enriquez
November 17, 2010 at 7:59 PM ·
The best way to prepare a turkey for thanksgiving ;
look at him straight in the eye and tell him he is going to die 🙁
Facebook
Iain Brownlee
December 7, 2010 at 5:16 AM ·
How do you prepare you turkey for Christmas ? I just come right out with it “your going to die” lol
X/Twitter
Richard Fitzswell
@rm_lawson
@AdrianneCurry How do I prepare my Thanksgiving turkey? Why I simply tell it that it’s going to die… Cue the drum roll “pa dum pum”
10:33 AM · Nov 23, 2011
X/Twitter
Meg
@Lefty824
RT @TheKevinButler: People always ask how I prepare my turkey. Same way every year. I just look at it and say “Turkey, you’re going to die.”
11:38 AM · Nov 24, 2011
X/Twitter
Nate
@Triggasaurus
People always ask how I prepare my turkey. Same way every year. I just look at it and say, “Turkey, you’re going to die.”
5:49 PM · Nov 24, 2011
Reddit—Jokes
Clsjajll—November 27, 2011
After eating Thanksgiving at my house, my friends are always asking me how I prepare the turkey…
...easy, I tell the bird he is going to die.
X/Twitter
Supercalifragilego 🇨🇦
@decarabas2
how do you prepare your turkey? Personally I just tell them they are going to die.
4:20 PM · Nov 22, 2012
X/Twitter
The Thumb Thespian
@BishopCognac
Don’t know how u prepare ur turkey,but I just told my turkey straight, ur going to die, then my family will savagely eat u! #TWUGLIFEBITCHES
5:00 AM · Dec 19, 2012
X/Twitter
Afro Gear
@Afro_Gear
I always prepare my #Thanksgiving turkey the same way. I look at it and say “turkey, you are going to die.”
7:00 PM · Nov 28, 2013
X/Twitter
Afro Gear
@Afro_Gear
I prepare my #Thanksgiving turkey the same way every year. I look at it and say, “Turkey, you’re going to die.”
11:03 AM · Nov 27, 2014
X/Twitter
Geoff with a G
@lloyd_geoff
I’m not sure how to prepare the turkey for tomorrow.
I think I might just tell it “you’re going to die”
6:32 PM · Dec 24, 2014
X/Twitter
Afro Gear
@Afro_Gear
I always prepare my #Thanksgiving turkey the same way. I look at it and say, “turkey, you are going to die.”
5:58 PM · Nov 26, 2015
X/Twitter
Steve Corley
@StDomingo1878
Love the return of Vic and Bob’s big night out.
‘how do you prepare your turkey’s for Christmas? Well we tell them from the start that they’re going to die’
4:35 PM · Nov 29, 2018
X/Twitter
Geoffrey Bell
@pintspiller
Me: How do you prepare a turkey for Christmas? Butcher: You just tell it straight that it’s going to die.
9:42 AM · Dec 15, 2018
X/Twitter
stubronstein02
@stubronstein02
Q: How do you prepare you turkey on Thanksgiving?
A: Oh, I just tell him he’s going to die.
10:59 AM · Nov 22, 2023
Facebook
Tricky Higgs
November 22, 2024 at 7:36 AM ·
I asked the butcher how do you prepare your turkey for Xmas? He said I just tell him,her, they,them your going to die! 😂😂😂
Facebook
Randy Bunch
November 22, 2024 at 9:07 AM ·
I asked the butcher how do you prepare your turkey for Thanksgiving? He said I just tell them you’re going to die!
🤣
X/Twitter
Rick C-137
@Rick_S_C137_
Me: How do you prepare your turkey?
@MTGrepp : We just tell it, it’s going to die.
11:03 PM · Nov 28, 2024