"S car go" (escargot joke)

SA Town (San Antonio nickname)

Sabich

Sabre-rattling

"Sacred cows make the best hamburger"

"Saddle your hoss before cussin' the boss"

"Sadly, I do most of my proofreading after I hit sned"

"Sadly this Christmas passes away, so let us give thanks today"

Sadomonetarism (sadomasochism + monetarism); Sadomonetarist

"Safe and effective is now sudden and unexpected"

"Safe and effective is not a lie. It's two lies"

"Safe as houses"

"Safe driving is no accident"

"Safe, legal and rare" (abortion saying)

Safe Six or #SafeSix (six feet apart social distancing)

"Safety first. Just kidding, coffee first. Safety's like third or fourth"

"Safety is when nothing happens"

Safety School

"Sage on the stage or guide on the side" (teaching terms)

Saigon (Seguin nickname)

Sailgating (sail + tailgating)

Sailor Sandwich

Saint City (New Orleans nickname)

Salad Astoria

Salad Astoria

Salad Bar

"Salad dressing implies the existence of salad undressing"

"Salad dressing is just leaf sauce"

"Salad dressing is just lettuce gravy"

"Salad dressing is just lettuce sauce"

"Salad is just lettuce nachos"

"Salad isn't food -- it's what food eats" ("Vegetables are what food eats")

Salad Undressing

"Salads are just lettuce nachos"

"Salads are just veggie nachos"

Salami Slicing (Salami Technique; Salami Attack)

Salami Tactics

Salbutes

Saleabration (sale + celebration)

Saleathon (sale + marathon)

"Sales go up and down. Service stays forever"

"Sales is vanity, profit is sanity, cash is reality" ("Volume/ Turnover/ Revenue is vanity...")

"Sales sells the first car and service sells the rest" (car dealership adage)

"Salesmanship begins when the customer says no"

"Salivating is just your mouth getting horny for food"

Sallie Mae (Student Loan Marketing Association)

Sally Soccer-mom

"Salsa from New York City?" (Pace picante sauce commercials)

Salsa Picante (Picante Sauce)

Salsa Ranchera (Ranch Sauce)

Salsa Verde

"Salt and sugar look the same. Be careful who you trust"

"Salt and sugar look the same. Be careful who you trust"

"Salt is just angry sugar"

"Salt is just tasty rocks"

"Salt jokes are sodium funny"

"Salt puns are sodium funny"

"Salt, sugar, sex -- the deeper you go, the sweeter it gets"

Salt Water Taffy

Saltwater Heaven (Aransas Pass nickname)

Salty Dog (cocktail)

Salugi (or Saloogie)

Salute to Israel

Sam and Ella (salmonella)

Sam Hill

"Sam Houston made us free; Sam Colt made us equal"

Sam Houston White Cake

Sam, Mike, Will (strongside, middle and weakside linebacker nicknames)

Sam 'n' Ella (salmonella)

Sam Ward (cocktail)

"Sam, You Made the Pants Too Long" (1932)

"Same shit, different asshole" (political adage)

Sammy Scheme (Uncle Sam + Ponzi Scheme)

"Samuel Colt: Inventor of the point and click interface"

San Angeloan (inhabitant of San Angelo)

San Anto ("San Antonio" in Chicano slang)

San Antone (San Antonio)

San Antonian (inhabitant of San Antonio)

San Antonio Blight (San Antonio Light nickname)

San Antonio Chicken; San Antonio Chicken Roll-Ups; San Antonio Chicken Wraps

San Antonio Excuse-for-News (San Antonio Express-News nickname)

"San Antonio is the northernmost city in Mexico"

San Francisco of the South (Austin nickname)

San Jacinto Corn

San Juan Hill; The Gut

San Man

San Marcan (inhabitant of San Marcos)

San Marvelous (San Marcos nickname)

Sanctuary City

Sanctuary Restaurant

Sand and Jello (San Angelo nickname)

Sand Hog (Sandhog)

"Sandwiches need chips, shoulders do not"

Santa Anna's Revenge (traveler's diarrhea or "Montezuma's revenge")

Santa Claus Curse (New York Mets)

"Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people once a year"

Santa Claus & Sidewalk Santas

Santa Fe Salad

"Santa played a round of golf on Christmas day and hit a birdie. It was a partridge on a par three"

"Santa saw your Instagram pictures. You're getting clothes and a Bible for Christmas"

"Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses"

Saranac Lake: Capital City of the Adirondacks (nickname)

Saranac Lake: "Green Side of the Big Apple" (slogan)

Saranac Lake: Little City in the Adirondacks (nickname)

Saranac Lake: "The Adirondacks' Coolest Place" (slogan)

Saratoga: August Mecca (nickname)

Saratoga: Big Apple (New York racing circuit including the Saratoga Race Course)

Saratoga: Big Apple (New York racing circuit including the Saratoga Race Course)

Saratoga: Graveyard of Champions or Graveyard of Favorites (Saratoga Race Course)

Saratoga: "Health, History, Horses" (slogan)

Saratoga: "Heaven's nice, but it ain't Saratoga" (joke)

Saratoga: "Pearly gates of horse racing" (Saratoga Race Course)

Saratoga: Peppermint Pig

Saratoga: Queen of American Spas (nickname)

Saratoga: Queen of the Spas (nickname)

Saratoga: Saratoga Potato (Chip)

Saratoga: Saratoga Trunk

Saratoga: "The August place to be" (Saratoga Race Course)

"Sarcasm is just intelligence dipped in hot sauce"

"Sarcasm is just intelligence with extra gravy"

"Sarcasm is just one more service we offer"

"Sarcasm is like a good game of chess. Most people don’t know how to play chess"

"Sarcasm is the sour cream of wit"

"Sarcasm will get you nowhere in life" (joke)

"Saskatchewan is much like Texas — except it's more friendly to the United States"

Satan Sandwich

Satan's Circus

Satan's Seat

"Satire is something that closes on Saturday night" (theatre adage)

Saturday Night Liberal (Saturday Night Live or SNL nickname)

"Live, from New York! It's Saturday Night!" (Saturday Night Live)

Saturday Night Special

"Saturday -- the day kids jump out of bed at 6am"

"Saturdays are for adventure; Sundays are for cuddling"

Sauce Proposal (Proposal Sauce)

Saudi America (oil-producing areas of the United States)

"Sauerkraut and bacon drive all care away"

Sauerkraut Bend (King William Street, San Antonio)

"Sauerkraut is German kimchi"

"Sauerkraut is just European kimchi"

"Sauerkraut is just white people kimchi"

"Sausage flavored vodka: Absolut Wurst"

Sausage Sandwich

"Sausages are just meat bananas"

"Save a cow -- eat a vegetarian"

"Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy" ("Save a Horse, Mount a Cowboy")

"Save a turkey. Eat a pie"

"Save a turkey. Eat a pizza"

"Save a turkey. Eat a taco"

"Save Grand Central. No more bites out of the Big Apple!" (1975)

"Save some time and just put your Taco Bell directly in the toilet"

"Save the ales"

"Save The Date. And any other endangered fruit"

"Save the date!! The end of quarantine was just announced: Octemburary 54th"

"Save the earth -- it's the only planet with chocolate"

"Save the planet. Delete the elite"

"Save water. Drink champagne"

"Save your pennies and the sales tax will take care of them"

"Save your pennies and the sales tax will take care of them"

"Save your tears for your pasta water"

Savile Row (bespoke tailoring in NoHo/Nolita/West Village)

"Saving is a very fine thing, especially when your parents have done it for you"

"Saw a bird eating a piece of avocado toast. Guess it was some kind of millennial falcon"

"Saw a couple holding hands while jogging and it made me hopeful that one day I will meet someone.."

"Saw a fat kid wearing an 'I Love Hip Hop" shirt. The letters 'C' and 'S' must have washed off"

"Saw a fat kid wearing an 'I Love Hip Hop" shirt. The letters 'C' and 'S' must have washed off"

"Saw a market selling nothing but fruit, sherry, custard and sponge fingers. It was a trifle bazaar"

"Saw a pack of gummy worms that read 'No artificial flavor'..."

"Saw a sign saying 'Hidden Dip,' went round the corner and crashed into a huge tub of guacamole"

"Sawdust is man glitter"

Sawdust Pie

Sawdust Trail (Sawdust Circuit)

"Say boo and scary on"

"Say 'Cheese!'"

"Say no to drugs. Then again, if you're talking to drugs, you're probably on drugs"

"Say No to Drugs, Say Yes to Tacos"

"Say whatever you want about pedophiles, but at least they drive slowly through school zones"

"Saying 'drugs and alcohol' is like saying 'vegetables and potatoes'"

"Saying fuck when it's cold out makes you less cold"

Sayre's Law: Mayors of NY come from nowhere and go nowhere

Sazerac (cocktail)

"Scaffolding -- I'm a supporter"

"Scalloped potatoes don't contain any seafood. This is clearly false advertising"

"Scallops are just savory marshmallows"

"Scallops are the marshmallows of the sea"

"Scallops are the tater tots of the ocean"

"Scallops are the tater tots of the sea"

Scalpel vs. Machete (budget-cutting techniques)

"SCAM ALERT: There's an organization going around called 'IRS' claiming you owe them money"

Scamdemic (scam + pandemic)

Scampaign (scam + campaign)

Scandalpalooza (scandal + lollapalooza)

"Scare you to death, work you to death, then bore you to death" (law school's three years)

Scarebus (Airbus nickname)

"Scared money never wins" (gambling, Wall Street adage)

Scaredemic (scare + pandemic)

Scarf (to eat)

Scariant (scare/scary + variant)

"Schaefer Is the One Beer to Have When You're Having More Than One" (Schaefer Beer)

Schenectady: Electric City (nickname)

Schenectady: "The City that Lights and Hauls the World" (slogan)

"Schizophrenia beats dining alone"

Schleppie Award

Schmearlier or Schmelier (schmear expert)

Schmear (Schmeer; Shmear; Shmeer)

Schmelier or Schmearlier (schmear expert)

"Scholarships are basically giftcards for college"

"School and microwave minutes are longer than regular minutes"

"School bells are ringing loud and clear; vacation’s over, school is here"

School Bus of the Sky (Spirit Airlines nickname)

School Bus with Wings (Spirit Airlines nickname)

School For Alcoholics (Stephen F. Austin State University nickname)

"School is a building that has four walls -- with tomorrow inside"

"School is just a really long tutorial"

"School is killing us. Textbooks are made from paper, paper is made from trees..."

"School is like a tutorial for life"

"School is punishment for the crime of being young"

"School is soup and I am a fork"

"School minutes are longer than regular minutes"

School of Hard Knocks (University of Hard Knocks)

School of No (PS 106, Far Rockaway, Queens nickname)

"School was great! We made explosives" (joke)

Schoolcation (school + vacation)

"Schoolhouse Rock didn't prepare us for this"

"Schoolhouse Rock never prepared us for this shit"

"Schrödinger's Cash: When you don't know how much is in your bank account"

"Schrödinger's cat walks into a bar..." (bar joke)

Schrödinger's Money

Schumwich (NY Senator Chuck Schumer's sandwich)

"Schwan’s food was the OG Uber Eats"

"Schwan’s was the original Uber Eats"

"Schwan’s was the Uber Eats of the nineties"

"Science, because figuring things out is always better than making shit up"

"Science, because figuring things out is better than making stuff up"

"Science built skyscrapers and airplanes, but only religion can bring the two together"

"Science built skyscrapers and airplanes, but only faith can bring the two together"

"Science doesn't care what you believe in"

"Science flies you to the moon; religion flies you into buildings"

"Science: If you don't make mistakes, you're doing it wrong"

"Science isn't meant to be trusted. It's meant to be tested"

"Science may never come up with a better office communications system than the coffee break"

"Science may never come up with a better office communications system than the coffee break"

"Science should stop analyzing animal intelligence and start studying human stupidity"

"Scientists have discovered that people will believe anything when you claim scientists..."

"Scientists should stop analyzing animal intelligence and start studying human stupidity"

"Scientists should stop studying animal intelligence and start studying human stupidity"

"Scientists turn back time and end up with 'emit'"

Scissors and Sawbuck (Sears, Roebuck and Company nickname)

SCOAMF (Stuttering Clusterfuck Of A Miserable Failure)

Scofflaw

Scooter Pie

"Scotch is a brilliant invention. One double and you start feeling single again"

"Scotch tape doesn't even taste like scotch"

"Scotch tape implies the existence of Bourbon tape"

"Scotch tape implies the existence of vodka tape"

"Scotland has Lochs, but Florida has Keys"

SCOTUS (Supreme Court Of The United States)

"Scout traits, not production" (player acquisition strategy)

"Scrabble is all fun and games until someone loses an 'I'"

"Scrambled eggs should be spelled dcrbmlaes gegs"

"Scrapple From the Apple" (1947)

Scratch 'n' Match (Daily News promotional game)

Scratchiti

Screaming Buy (Wall Street phrase)

Screlt (scream/screech + belt)

Screlter (screamer/screecher + belter)

Screlting (screaming/screeching + belting)

"Screw it, just do it" ("Screw it, let's do it")

"Screw up, move up"

Screwdriver (vodka + orange juice cocktail)

Screwel, Screwl, Scrool, Scruel, Skrewel, Skrewl (school)

Screwflation

Screwston (Houston nickname)

ScrewTube (YouTube nickname)

SCRIE (pronounced "scree") and SCHE (pronounced "she"); DRIE

Scroogle or Screwgle (screw/Scrooge + Google)

SCROTUS (So Called Ruler Of The United States)

SCROTUS (Supreme Court Republicans Of The United States)

Scrubway (Subway nickname)

Scullers' Row

Sea Breeze (cocktail)

Sea Gulls of the Sink (roaches); Rats with Wings (pigeons)

Seafood

Seafood Delight (seafood platter)

Seafood Diet ("Whenever I see food, I eat it" -- Tommy Lasorda?)

Seafood Platter

Seagull Manager (Seagull Management)

Seahawks (Wagner College teams)

Sears, Sawbuck & Co. (Sears, Roebuck and Company nickname)

"Seasoned fries are what rookie fries eventually become"

"Seasoned salt is salt with some experience"

"Season's bleatings. Fleece on earth. Good wool to men"

Seastead (sea + homestead); Seasteading

"Seat 'em and feed 'em" (sports facility adage)

Secret Santa

Second Acting

Second Avenue Subway Cough (Second Avenue Subway Syndrome)

Second "Big Apple" explanation: December 1, 1926

Second Biggest Paris in the World (Second Largest Paris in the World)

Second Chance U. (TSU nickname)

Second City (Chicago nickname)

Second City of the World

"Second Hand Rose (From Second Avenue)" (1921)

Second Line; Second Liner; Second Lining

Second Nashville (Austin nickname)

"Second place is the first loser" (sports adage)

"Second Prize: Two weeks in Philadelphia/ Chicago/ Los Angeles/ Texas" (joke)

"Second toughest job in America" (NYC mayor)

"Seconds count— especially when dieting"

"Secrecy is the breeding ground of tyranny" ("Secrecy is the beginning of tyranny")

Secret Circus (Secret Service nickname)

Secret Subway (PATH)

Secretary of Death (Secretary of Defense nickname)

Securitocracy (security + -ocracy)

"Security at every level of an airport is absolutely ridiculous. Until you get to baggage claim..."

"Security is our middle name" (slogan at various government agencies)

Security Mom

Security Theater

"Security without liberty is called prison"

"Security without liberty is prison"

See B.S. (CBS nickname)

"See life through the lens of a Sunday morning and everything will be easy"

"See Miracles In Life Everyday" ("smile" backronym)

See Texas First (See America First)

"See The Dog Jump In A Circle. Leave Her Home To Entertain Every Visitor Here" (Cabinet mnemonic)

"See you later, alligator; after a while, crocodile"

Seedelicious or Seedalicious or Seedilicious (seed + delicious)

"Seeds are the ultimate zip files"

Seeduction (seed + seduction)

"Seeing a UPS truck as an adult is the childhood equivalent of seeing an ice cream truck"

"Seek respect, not attention. It lasts longer"

"Seems like if you're good at gambling, you're a professional. If you're bad, it's an addiction"

Seguinite (inhabitant of Seguin)

Seinfeld Session

"Seis de Mayo sucks ass"

Selectarian

Selection Sunday

"Self-checkouts are for teenagers buying their first condoms"

"Self-confidence is the best outfit. Rock it and own it"

"Self-educated people cannot be fooled by institutionalized propaganda"

"Self-education is the only kind of education there is"

Selfieccino (selfie + cappuccino)

Selkirk Hurdle

"Sell down to the sleeping point" (Wall Street proverb)

"Sell in May and go away (buy back on St. Leger's day)" (Halloween Indicator)

"Sell like hot cakes" (a fast-selling item)

"Sell like hotcakes" (a fast-selling item)

"Sell on Rosh Hashanah, buy on Yom Kippur" (Wall Street adage)

"Sell the problem, not the solution" (advertising adage)

"Sell when Business Week says buy" (Business Week cover curse/cover jinx)

"Sell when you can, not when you have to”

Sellabration (sell + celebration)

Sellathon (sell + marathon)

"Sellers of dried grapes are always raisin awareness"

Selmelier (salt expert)

"Seltzer is just angry water"

"Seltzer tastes like if tv static had flavor"

"Seltzer water is just liquid tv static"

"Semiconductor: A part-time orchestra leader"

Seminar Caller

Semita (Cemita)

Senate Bean Soup

"'Senator' is an anagram for 'treason'"

"Send a Salami to Your Boy in the Army"

"Sending W-2s out to everyone who's been in my business all year"

Senegalese Soup

Senior Citizen

Senior Slump

Senioritis

Señorita Special (Señorita Plate; Señorita Platter)

Sept-taper or Septaper (September + taper)

Septagon (seven-sided bathroom in Central Park's Arsenal)

"September ended. Somebody wake up that guy from Green Day" (October 1 joke)

"September is like the Monday of summer"

"September is my favorite time of year to finally turn the central air off and turn the heat on…"

"September is the bank holiday Monday of summer"

"September is when leaves and stocks tend to fall; On Wall Street it's the worst month of all"

Sequesteria (sequester + hysteria)

Sequestrocalypse (sequester + apocalypse)

"Serious as a snake bite" ("Serious as a snakebite")

Sermon on the Mound (Pope delivering Mass at Yankee Stadium)

"Service is the rent we pay to live on this earth"

"Service with a smile"

"Serving great food since the hippies showed up" (Waterloo Ice House, Austin)

"Serving humanity simply by showing up"

Sesame Seed Bun (hamburger bun)

"Sesame seeds are just savory sprinkles"

"Sesame seeds are nature's glitter"

"Sesame seeds are the glitter of food"

"Set a goal that makes you want to jump out of bed in the morning"

"Set goals and crush them"

"Set goals. Crush them. Repeat"

Setters (Pace University teams)

Seven-Course Meal (includes six pack of beer)

Seven Crazy Hours Of Our Lives or Seven Crappy Hours Of Our Lives ("school" backronym)

"Seven days without pizza makes one weak"

Seven O'Clockers

Seven Sisters' Row (West 25th Street)

"Seven S's of wine tasting: See, Swirl, Sniff, Sip, Savor, Swish and Spit (or Swallow)"

Seven Year Itch

Seventh-inning stretch (Manhattan College's claim to origin)

"Seventy-eight per cent of the earth is covered with water; the rest is covered with mortgages"

"Several upset thespian pigeons decided to stage a coo"

"Sex counts as cardio"

"Sex ed classes in school should just be listening to a baby cry for 5 hours straight"

"Sex education classes are like in-home sales parties for abortions"

Sex, Fun and Alcohol (Stephen F. Austin State University nickname)

"Sex in return for rice wine? For fucks, sake"

"Sex is a misdemeanor. De more I miss, de meaner I get"

"Sex is cool, but have you ever fucked the system?"

"Sex is like bridge..." (bridge joke)

"Sex is like math. Add the bed, subtract clothes, divide legs, and pray you don't multiply"

"Sex is like math. I don't get it"

"Sex is like music: For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free"

"Sex is like pizza -- even when it's bad, you still have to pay for it"

"Sex is my cardio. Which probably explains why I'm fat"

"Sex sells" (advertising adage)

Sexocrat (sex + bureaucrat)

Sexretary (sex + secretary)

Shablam (dance move)

Shabu-Shabu

Shade Tree Barbecue

Shade Tree Mechanic

Shadow Government

Shadow Inventory

Shadow Kitchen

Shady Park (Andrews Grove, Long Island City)

Shadyville (Queens Village, Queens)

Shaggy Dog (Frito chili pie + hot dog)

Shakedown (Shake Down)

Shakespeare in the Park (New York Shakespeare Festival)

"Shakespeare walks into a bar..." (bar joke)

"Shaking hands is the new first base"

Shamdemic (sham + pandemic)

Shame Muzzle (face mask)

Shammgod or El Latigo or The Whip (one-handed crossover basketball dribble)

Shamnesty (sham + amnesty)

Shampaign (sham + campaign)

Shamparency (sham + transparency)

Shamrock Cookie

Shamrock Sandwich

Shamrock Shake

Shamsung (Samsung nickname)

Shao-Lin (Staten Island)

"Share sarcasm, not pizza"

Shareable

"Shareholders should be worried when a CEO builds a new headquarters"

Shark Repellent

Sharkcuterie (shark + charcuterie)

Sharks (Long Island University teams)

Sharkuterie (shark + charcuterie)

"Sharp as a marshmallow sandwich"

"Sharp as a mashed potato sandwich" (dumb)

"Sharp cheddar is the dark chocolate of cheese"

Shartonnay (shart + Chardonnay)

"Shattered" (1978) (Rolling Stones' "Big Apple" lyric)

"Shaved ice implies the existence of hairy ice"

Shawam or Shawham (dance move)

Shawham or Shawam (dance move)

SHCOOL (failed spelling of "school")

"She criticized my apartment, so I knocked her flat"

"She made French toast and got her tongue caught in the toaster"

"She passed on the scalloped potatoes because, 'I don't really like seafood'"

"She said 'choke me daddy' so I gave her two Popeyes biscuits without a drink"

"She said to kiss her where it smells bad, so I took her to New Jersey"

"She sells C cells by the sea shore"

"She turned her can'ts into cans and her dreams into plans"

"She was only a moonshiner's daughter, but he loved her still"

"She: What was the last book that made you cry? Me: 'Concepts of Physics' by H. C. Verma"

"She Will Endure All Things" ("sweat" backronym)

"She won't techno for an answer"

Shea Town

Shears, Sawbuck & Co. (Sears, Roebuck and Company nickname)

Shedies Awards (Manhattan's oldest scaffolding)

Sheeny Funeral (roast pork)

Sheep and Wool Capital of the World (San Angelo nickname)

Sheeple (sheep + people)

Sheeptard or Sheepletard (sheep/sheeple + retard)

"Sheet music is really just a sound recipe"

Shell Game

"Shell out!" (Halloween shout)

"Shell out, shell out, or we'll turn your windows inside out!" (Halloween shout)

"Shell out, shell out, the witches are out!" (Halloween shout)

Shellebration (shell + celebration)

Sheriff of Wall Street

Shermanite (inhabitant of Sherman)

Sherrill: Silver City (nickname)

"She's a Latin From Manhattan" (1935)

"She's always late. Her ancestors arrived on the Juneflower"

"She's not that ugly. -- Jack Daniels"

"She's so stupid, she slept with the writer" (casting joke)

"She's so ugly she'd make a freight train take a dirt road"

"She's some kind of ugly that even Jack Daniels can't fix"

Shigging

Shinerite (inhabitant of Shiner)

Shipwreck (scrambled eggs)

Shirley Temple (non-alcoholic cocktail)

Shit-faced Saturday

"Shit happens. Get the tequila"

"Shit happens. Get the whiskey"

"Shit happens. Get the wine"

"Shit hits the fan" (SHTF)

Shit-in ("sit-in" for gender-neutral bathrooms)

"Shit is fucked up and stuff"

"Shit posting will continue until government improves"

"Shit rolls downhill"

Shit Sandwich

Shit To Remember Every Single Second ("stress" backronym)

Shitcan

Shitcoin (shit + bitcoin)

Shitebarf (shite + barf, a Breitbart News nickname)

Shitebart (shite + Breitbart News)

Shitefart (shite + fart, a Breitbart News nickname)

Shiti Bike (Citi Bike nickname)

Shitizen (shit + citizen)

Shitlib (shit + liberal)

"Shitposters are just feral philosophers"

"Shitposters are simply feral philosophers"

Shitpotle (Chipotle Mexican Grill nickname)

ShitChute (BitChute nickname)

Shitter (shit + Twitter)

Shittybank or Shitty Bank or Shitibank (Citibank nickname)

ShittyField, in Flushing (Citi Field ballpark, in Flushing, Queens)

Shivercrat (Governor Allan Shivers + Democrat)

Shmeat (sheet + meat)

"Shocked. Shocked!" (meme)

Shoe District

"Shoes are required to eat in the cafeteria; socks can eat any place they want"

Shoestring Potatoes (Shoestring Fries)

Shoofly Pie (Shoo-fly Pie)

"Shoot O'Malley twice" (Brooklyn Dodger joke)

"Shoot pool with a rope" (an impossible task)

Shooter's Sandwich

Shootout (an athletic competition, such as the "Red River Shootout")

Shop-and-Frisk (shop + stop-and-frisk)

"Shop Like a Chef" (Gourmet Garage)

"Shop like it's 1999"

"Shop 'til you drop"

Shopaholic

Shopdropping (reverse shoplifting)

Shopocalypse

Shoppertunity (shopper + opportunity)

"Shopping days until Christmas"

"Shopping for antiques won't make you gay, but it will make you buy curios"

"Shopping is my cardio"

"Shopping like it's 1999"

Shopportunity (shop + opportunity)

Shore Dinner

"Short arms and long pockets" (stingy)

"Short form, the government gets your money; long form, the CPA gets it"

"Short people can't reach an agreement"

"Shortbread -- They're not making it any longer"

"Shortest horror story: Monday"

Shortseller Enrichment Commission (Securities and Exchange Commission or SEC nickname)

SHOT 97 (HOT 97)

"Shot heard 'round the world"

"Should you have your whole family for Thanksgiving dinner?"/"No, just have turkey."

"Shouldn't pregnant women be called body builders?"

"Shout out to ATM fees for making me buy my own money"

"Shoutout to ATM fees for making me buy my own money"

"Show business is high school with money" (show business adage)

"Show, don't tell" (scriptwriting adage)

Showgirl (Show Girl)

"Show me a good loser and I'll show you a loser"

"Show me a successful person, and I'll show you someone who has overcome adversity"

"Show me a time in history where rendering the good people helpless made the bad people harmless"

Show Me City (Missouri City slogan)

"Show me Thanksgiving leftovers in the garbage and I'll show you a man who quit cold turkey"

"Show me your budget and I'll tell you what you value"

"Show me your checkbook and I'll tell you your values"

"Show me your friends and I'll show you your future"

"Show the door" (to dismiss; a forced exit)

"Show up, keep up and shut up" (golf caddy adage)

"Show us your shoes!" (San Antonio Battle of Flowers Parade cry)

“Show your enemy no mercy. Misgender him at every opportunity.—Sun Tzu, ‘The Art of War’”

"Show your enemy no mercy. Misgender them at every opportunity. -- Sun Tzu, 'The Art of War'"

"Showing your love is now just looking at them for five minutes without checking your phone"

Showmance (show + romance)

Showrooming

Showstopper or Show-stopper ("stop the show")

"Shredded cheese is just milk jerky"

"Shredded cheese is perfectly safe for children. After all, it's g rated"

"Shrimp are the cockroaches of the ocean"

Shrimp Capital of Texas (Aransas Pass nickname)

Shrimp Cocktail or Prawn Cocktail (Shrimp Cocktail Sauce)

Shrimp Enchiladas

Shrimp of the Dirt or Shrimp of the Land (cicadas)

Shrimp Reunion (jumbo shrimp & spicy shrimp)

Shrimp Scampi

Shrimp Tetrazzini

Shrimp Wiggle (Lobster Wiggle)

"Shrink it and pink it" (men's to women's sportswear)

Shrinkflation (shrink + inflation)

"Shrouds have no pockets"

"Sh*t posting will continue until government improves"

"Shuck me, suck me, eat me raw" (oyster saying)

Shunday

Shut Happens (shut + shit happens)

"Shut the front door"

"Shut up and sing/dance/act" (entertainers taking political positions)

"Shut up and squat" (bodybuilding saying)

"Shut up and train"

"Shut up, Brooklyn"

Shutdown Theater (Government Shutdown Theater)

Shutstorm (shutdown + shitstorm)

Shyster

"Si Hoc Legere Scis Nimium Eruditionis Habes"

Siberia (second-class restaurant seating)

Sichuan Fire (pun on "set you on fire")

Sicilian Pizza

Sick Man of Asia

Sick Man of Europe

"Sick until proven healthy is no less tyrannical than guilty until proven innocent"

Sidewalk Superintendent

"Sidewalks of New York (East Side, West Side)" (1894)

Siegel-Cooper's Statue of the Republic (Minnie Clark, model)

"Sierra Mist is a poor man's Sprite"

"Sign at bowling alley: 'Due to Coronavirus, please refrain from touching other people's balls'"

"Sign in a local hospital: 'From all of us here at the Dermotology Department - Merry Eczemas'"

"Sign in haste, repent at leisure"

"Sign not in use" (traffic sign)

Signing Statement

"Signs don't vote"

Sikh Day Parade

"Silence is always better than bullshit"

"Silence is better than bullshit"

"Silence is golden; duct tape is silver"

Silent Dining

Silent Service (United States Postal Inspection Service or USPIS nickname)

Silicon Alley

Silicon Bayou (New Orleans nickname)

Silicon Forest

Silicon Hills (Austin nickname)

Silicon Prairie

Silicon Swamp (New Orleans nickname)

Silicone City (Houston nickname)

Silk Stocking District

"Silly straws imply the existence of serious straws"

"Silly straws should just be called 'straws' and normal straws should be called 'serious straws'"

Silver Alert ("Amber Alert" for seniors)

Silver Boot Series (Houston Astros vs. Texas Rangers)

Silver, Wine, Art and Gold (SWAG backronym)

Silverbug or Silver Bug (silver enthusiast)

Silverite

Simon Says (Simple Simon Says)

"Simple syrup implies the existence of complex syrup"

"Simple syrup implies the existence of complicated syrup"

"Simple syrup implies the existence of difficult syrup"

"Simply Good Taste" (Cosi Sandwich Bar)

Sin City (Las Vegas, Nevada nickname)

"Since 1898" (Entenmann's)

"Since all the public libraries are closed, I'm checking you out instead" (pickup line)

"Since an avocado is a fruit, does that make guacamole a fruit salad?"

"Since Christ was a cowboy" ("Since Jesus was a cowboy")

"Since everyone started washing their hands, the peanuts at the bar have lost their taste"

"Since everyone's now washing their hands, we’ll be working on shapes & colors next week"

"Since Facebook claims ownership of everything you post on their website, I'm uploading my bills"

"Since I bought a solar-powered treadmill, I've been walking on sunshine"

"Since I changed my smartphone's name to Titanic, it's been syncing"

"Since Latin is a dead language, I expect it would be pretty useful in a zombie apocalypse"

"Since nobody reads the 5,000 page bills. let's slip in 'term limits'"

"Since nobody reads the 5,592 page bills, let's slip in 'term limits'"

"Since our Russian gymnast was deported, we don't have Oleg to stand on"

"Since this year they launched the iPhone 8/X, we'll probably get to see 9/11 next year"

"Since we’re all in quarantine, I guess we’ll be making only inside jokes from now on"

"Sincerity Affection Love Attention Respect Yourself" ("salary" backronym)

Sing Sing on the Brazos (Texas A&M nickname)

Singapore Chili Crab Festival

Singerhorn (Singer Building)

"Singing in the shower is fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it's soap opera"

"Singing is like talking in cursive"

"Single man with Purell and Lysol seeking single woman with toilet paper for good clean fun"

"Single man with toilet paper seeks woman with hand sanitizer for good clean fun"

"S.I.N.G.L.E. Stress Is Now Gone Life's Easier"

"Single women can't fart. They don't have an asshole until they're married"

Singles Bar

Sinistrosphere (left blogosphere)

Sinkhole de Mayo (May 2008 sinkhole in Daisetta)

SINO or SPINO (Speaker In Name Only)

SINO (Student In Name Only); Pushout

"Sip happens" (sip + shit happens)

"Sip sip hooray" (sip + hip hip hooray)

"Sippity doo dah! Sippity yay!" (wine saying)

Sipster (sip + -ster, hipster)

Siren Music Festival (Village Voice)

"Siri, check my bank account and tell me which Apple product I can buy."/"Apple juice."

Sis-boom-bah (skyrocket cheer)

Sissy Burger (hamburger with mayonnaise and without ketchup or mustard)

Sistine Chapel of Comic Strip Art (Overlook bar)

"Sit down. Be quiet. Drink some coffee. You are going to be fine"

"Sit down. Drink some coffee. You are going to be fine"

"Sit down. Shut up. Drink some coffee. You are going to be fine"

"Sit-ups are the best exercise because they include the most lying down"

"Sitting is the new smoking"

"Sitting on a gold mine" (possessing something of great value)

"Sitting on the toilet as the clock struck midnight, I thought, 'Same shit, different day'"

Sitzprobe (sitting rehearsal)

"Six allowed at Christmas but 30 for a funeral. I will be holding a funeral for my pet turkey"

"Six allowed at Thanksgiving but 30 for a funeral. I will be holding a funeral for my pet turkey"

"Six bores and a sadist" (political committee composition)

Six Crazy Hours Of Our Lives or Six Crappy Hours Of Our Lives ("school" backronym)

Six Flags Over Jerry (Dallas Cowboys Stadium in Arlington)

Six Flags Over Texas

Six-Man Football

Six Million Jews

Six Pack (UT-Austin campus buildings)

Six Phases of a Project ("Enthusiasm, disillusionment, panic...")

Six-Shooter Coffee

Six Shooter Junction

"Six S's of wine tasting: See, Swirl, Sniff, Sip, Swish and Spit (or Swallow)"

Six-Year Itch

"Sixteen sodium atoms walk into a bar… followed by Batman" (bar joke)

"Sixteen wives: four better, four worse, four richer, four poorer" (joke)

Sixth Borough (Yonkers, Scarsdale, Fort Lee, Jersey City, Hoboken, Nassau County, Rockland County)

"Sixty might be the new forty, but 9:00 is the new midnight"

Skank of America (Bank of America nickname)

"Skate to where the puck is going to be, not where it's been" (hockey adage)

Skee-Ball

Skelly (or skelsy, skellzies, scully, tops, caps)

"Ski hair, don't care"

"Skiers are made in the summer" (skiing adage)

"Skiiing: I do not participate in any sport with ambulances at the bottom of a hill"

"Skiing is a dance, and the mountain always leads"

"Skiing is probably the most expensive way to fall down a mountain"

"Skiing is the only sport where you can spend an arm and a leg to break an arm and a leg"

"Skiing: the art of catching cold and going broke while rapidly heading nowhere at great risk"

"Skilled labor ain't cheap. Cheap labor ain't skilled"

"Skilled labor isn't cheap. Cheap labor isn't skilled"

"Skilled workers are hard to find. That's why idiots are promoted to management"

Skin in the Game

Skinny Nut (pistachio nickname)

"Skull full of mush" (student's head before education)

Skunk Egg (onion)

"Sky above me, earth beneath me, fire within me"

Skycap

"Skydiving -- Good to the last drop"

"Skydiving school is the only school where you have to drop out to graduate"

"Skylines are bar charts of a city's wealth"

Skyscraper

Skyscraper Curse (Skyscraper Index)

Skyscraper-Harlem Cycling Classic

Skyscraper National Park (Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.)

Skyscraper Sandwich

Skyville (Schuylerville, Bronx)

Slacker Capital of the World (Austin nickname)

Sladeo (Slalom + Rodeo)

Slam Gate (agent-operated gate, or AOG)

Slamboni (Zamboni-like machine for U.S. Open tennis)

Slang Jang (Slangjang)

Slaughter in the Pan (beefsteak)

Slave Codes (1850s)

Slaw Dog (Slaw Dawg; Slawdog; Slawdawg)

SleazyJet or SleezyJet (easyJet nickname)

"Sleep feels the way pizza tastes"

"Sleep is a symptom of caffeine deprivation"

"Sleep on it" (not make an immediate decision)

"Sleep 'til you're hungry, eat 'til you're sleepy"

Sleeping Beauty

"Sleeping is hard in the summer because blankets are too warm..."

Sleeping Policeman (speed bump)

Sleeping, Talking, Unlimited-texting, Dreaming, Yawning ("study" backronym).

Sleep-wokking (sleepwalking + wokking)

Sleeve-buttons (fishballs)

SleezyJet or SleazyJet (easyJet nickname)

"Slept like a log last night. I woke up in the fireplace"

"Slice and dice" ("Slices and dices")

Slice (not piece) of pizza; Square pizza

"Sliced cucumbers are just salad cookies"

"Slicker than owl shit" (very slick)

Slider or Slyder (mini-hamburger)

SLIF (Sorry Liver, It's Friday)

"Slightly faulty quiz machine for sale. No questions asked!"

"Slim Jims are just spicy leather"

"Slim Jims are beef scented leather"

"Slim Jims are just beef Twizzlers"

"Slim Jims are just greasy meat sticks"

"Slim Jims are just long pepperonis"

"Slim Jims are just meat flavored Laffy Taffy"

"Slim Jims are just meat Twizzlers"

"Slim Jims are the perfect snack for anyone who has ever wanted to eat grease wrapped in leather"

Slime Square (slime + Times Square)

Slime Warner (Time Warner nickname)

Sling (Singapore Sling)

Sloppy Dog (sloppy joe + hot dog)

"Sloppy joes are just beanless chili sandwiches"

"Sloppy joes are just drunk hamburgers"

Sloppy Nachos & Sloppy Joes

Sloppy Saturday

"Sloppy joes are just chili sandwiches"

Sloshed Saturday

"Slow as molasses in January"

Slow Food

"Slow food is good food"

"Slow runners make fast runners look good. You're welcome!"

"Slow walk" ("low and slow" barbecue)

Sludge Report (Drudge Report nickname)

Slumlord

Slump (Apple Slump)

"Slump? I ain't in no slump. I just ain't hitting"

Slush or Slushie or Slushy (a flavored drink with crushed ice)

"Slushies are just boneless popsicles"

Slushify

Slutgers (Rutgers University nickname)

Small Business Saturday

Small drinking village with a large fishing problem (San Leon & Flour Bluff unofficial slogan)

Small Town, Big Lake, Great People (Mathis motto)

Small Town Charm, World Class Culture (Orange slogan)

"Small weekend is over.. now entering big weekend"

Albany: Smallbany or Smalbany or SmAlbany (nickname)

Smallbany or Smalbany or SmAlbany (Albany nickname)

Smart Alec

Smart Fork

"Smart girls open their minds, easy girls open their legs, foolish girls open their hearts"

Smart Money

"Smart water implies the existence of dumb water"

Smartaculous (smart + spectacular + fabulous/marvelous)

"Smarties are a poor man's M&M's"

SMASH (Salmon, Mackerel, Anchovies, Sardines, Herring)

"Smash the pastryarchy by eating all the gender rolls"

Smashed Potatoes

Smashed Saturday

"Smile. It will either warm their heart or piss them off. Either way, you win!"

"Smile. It's Friday"

Smiley Face

"Smith & Wesson: The original point and click interface"

Smithsonian of Texas (Panhandle-Plains Historical Museum)

Smoasting (social media boasting); Smoaster (social media boaster)

"Smoke brisket, not crack"

"Smoke brisket, not drugs"

"Smoke brisket, not meth"

"Smoke brisket, not weed"

Smoke-Eater; Smoke-Chewer

Smoke-Filled Room

"Smoke tires, not drugs" (bumper sticker)

Smoke-vide (smoke + sous-vide)

Smokeasy or Smoke-easy (smoke + speakeasy)

"Smoked salmon should be sliced so thin, you can read the New York Times through it"

Smokeout (barbecue cookout/festival)

"Smoking will kill you. Bacon will kill you. But smoking bacon will cure it"

Smokra (okra with smoked paprika brine)

"Smooth jazz implies the existence of chunky jazz"

"Smooth jazz implies the existence of rough jazz"

"Smooth seas make poor sailors"

"Smoothie King implies the existence of Roughie King"

Smoothie (Smoothee, Smoothy)

"Smoothies are just cold fruit soup"

"Smoothies are just pre-chewed food"

"Smoothies are just pre-chewed fruit"

"Smoothies are pre-chewed fruit salads"

S'more (Some-more)

"S'mores are campfire Wagon Wheels"

"S'mores are inside out Moon Pies"

"S'mores are just hot Moon Pies"

"S'mores are just warmed up Wagon Wheels"

Snaccident (snack + accident)

Snackle Box or Snacklebox (snack + tackle box)

Snackrifice (snack + sacrifice)

Snackwave

SNAFU (Situation Normal -- All Fouled Up)

Snail (pastry)

"Snails are just a vehicle for garlic and butter"

Snake Hill Road (Richmond Hill Road, Staten Island)

Snake on Stilts (tall, thin person)

Snake Poison (whiskey)

Snakebit or Snake-bit (Snakebitten or Snake-bitten)

Snakehead

"Sneezed all over my toast. Can’t believe it snot butter"

"Sneezing with a mask on feels like shitting your pants with your face"

Snickerdoodles

"Snickers without peanuts is a Milky Way. Milky Way without caramel is a 3 Musketeers"

"Snitches get stitches and end up in ditches"

Snollygoster

Snoopy Bowl (Giants vs. Jets at MetLife Stadium)

"Snopes is for dopes"

Snopester (fan of Snopes.com)

"Snow banks imply the existence of snow bank heists"

Snow Cone

"Snow cones are just boneless popsicles"

"Snow hair, don't care"

"Snow happens, hot chocolate helps"

"Snow in November happens because people prematurely decorate for Christmas"

"Snow in October happens because people decorate for Christmas prematurely"

"Snow is like a man" or "Snow is like sex" or "Sex is like snow" (joke)

"Snow is not a word, but an acronym for S-hit, N-o, O-ne, W-ants"

"Snow isn't dangerous, but ISIS"

"Snow: Shit No One Wants"

"Snow that doesn't stick is disappointment rain"

Snow-Trolling

Snowball or Sno-ball (shaved ice confection)

"Snowbanks imply the existence of snow credit unions"

Snowbird (northern tourist)

Snowflake (Fifth Avenue & 57th Street)

"Snowflakes are kisses from heaven"

"Snowflakes are winter's butterflies"

Snowmageddon (snow + Armageddon)

"Snowmen fall from heaven unassembled"

Snownado (snow + tornado)

Snowplow Parent (Snowplow Parenting)

Snowplowgate or Snowgate or Plowgate

Snowpocalypse (snow + apocalypse)

Snowtard (snow + retard)

"Snowy hair, don't care"

Snowzilla (snow + Godzilla)

"So a hipster walks into a bar and says, 'This bar sucks, It's full of hipsters'" (bar joke)

"So apparently 50% of homeowning is hearing strange noises and hoping they are made by ghosts..."

"So apparently they said frittatas, not free tatas. I'm banned from Golden Corral's breakfast"

So-Called Liberal Media (SCLM)

"So dry the Baptists are sprinkling, the Methodists are spitting..." (Texas heat joke)

"So dumb you need a half hour to cook Minute Rice" (food joke)

"So dumb you need the recipe for ice" (food joke)

"So far eating hasn't filled the emptiness I feel inside, but I'm no quitter"

"So far I'm experiencing zero side effects from not getting jabbed"

"So far, so good!" (Empire State Building jumper joke)

"So fast, I turned off the light in my hotel room and was in bed before it was dark"

"So fast, I turned off the light in my hotel room and was in bed before it was dark"

"So goes the schools, so goes the community"

"So I need a uterus to have an opinion about women's health, but not to compete in women's sports"

"So if guns kill people, I guess pencils misspell words, cars drive drunk, and spoons..."

"So I’m ugly. So what? I never saw anyone hit with his face"

"So in order to enter stores now, do I bring a face mask, a brick, or both? 2020 is confusing"

"So it turns out that being an adult is mostly just Googling how to do stuff"

"So I've decided that my wifi will be my valentine. I don't know, we just have this connection"

"So let me get this straight. Everyone hates white people, but everyone wants to live where the white people at?"

"So many coronavirus jokes are going viral, it’s a real pundemic!" (pun + pandemic)

"So many people in my area have head lice. The positive side is, we are a close nit community"

"So many people these days are too judgemental. I can tell just by looking at them"

"So many people these days are too judgmental. I can tell just by looking at them"

"So 'naked running' apparently means no music, no watch, no GPS... Now they tell me"

"So now that Christmas is over, can we just skip straight to Spring?"

"So often we rob tomorrow's memories by today's economies"

"So sad that in just a few days bread and dessert will have calories again"

"So, sue me!"

"So the bills are washed, the laundry is paid, the clothes are in the oven..."

"So the vaccine doesn’t stop the spread of the virus, but the vaccine passport does?"

"So they really clothes school tomorrow."/ "They shirt it down."/ "That socks."

"So this is Flushing"

"So tomorrow is Monday again? I can't keep living like this"

"So what if I can't spell Armageddon? It's not the end of the world"

"So when is our generation having a Boston tea party?? Because I'm tired of taxes"

"So when quarantine is over, will the producers of 'My 600 Pound Life' just find me?"

"So would hell" (rancher on being told Texas would be a great place if it had water)

"So you hate Facebook? Thanks for sharing that with me on Facebook"

"So you're staying inside, practicing social distancing and cleaning yourself? Congratulations..."

"So you're telling me a blunt forced this trauma?"

"So you're telling me a monkey runs this business?"

"So you're telling me a monkey started this business?"

"So you're telling me this monkey owns a business?"

"So you've been eating hotdogs and McChickens all your life, but don't want the vaccine because..."

"Soak the rich"

Soap Night (October 30th)

SoBe (South Beach)

Sober Sunday

SOBO (sausage on bagel omelet)

SoBro (South Bronx)

"Soccer: 90 minutes of pretending you are injured. Rugby: 80 minutes of pretending you are not"

Soccer City, USA (Portland nickname)

"Soccer is 22 people running after a ball" ("Football is 22 people running after a ball")

"Soccer is a kick in the grass"

"Soccer is America's sport of the future -- and always will be"

Social Disdancing (social distancing + dancing); DisDancing

"'Social distancing' is an anagram for 'dissociating clan'"

"Social distancing is boring. 'Exiled for the good of the realm' sounds much more interesting"

"Social distancing is like a restraining order for everyone against everyone"

"Social distancing protocols are nothing to be sneezed at"

Social Justice Warrior (SJW)

"Social Justice Warrior implies the existence of Social Justice Mage and Social Justice Rogue"

"Social Justice Warrior implies the existence of Social Justice Wizard and Social Justice Rogue"

"Social media crushes are all fun and games until someone buys a plane ticket"

Social Media Distancing (social media + social distancing)

"Social media don't ban hate speech. They ban speech they hate"

"Social media gives people egos they don't have in person"

"Social media has made too many of you comfortable with disrespecting people..."

"Social media has never caused the lame to walk, but it sure has caused the dumb to speak"

"Social media is cool because you can say something to no one in particular and offend everyone"

"Social media is like a fridge..."

"Social media is the virus"

"Social media made y’all comfortable with disrespecting people & not getting punched in the mouth"

Social Media Redistribution Agency (SMRA)

Social Pisstancing (social distancing + pissing)

"Socialism: Equal amounts of zero"

"Socialism for dummies: Everything is free, and we're all out of it!"

"Socialism for dummies: 'Everything is free...but we're all out of it'"

"Socialism for the rich and capitalism for the poor"

"Socialism: Guaranteeing everyone equal amounts of nothing"

"Socialism: Ideas so good they have to be mandatory"

"Socialism is just diet communism"

"Socialism is like a mouse trap. The mouse doesn't understand why the cheese is free"

"Socialism is resentment disguised as compassion enforced by tyranny disguised as tolerance"

"Socialism is the flat earth of economics"

"Socialism is the halfway house to communism"

"Socialism is the philosophy of failure, the creed of ignorance and the gospel of envy"

"Socialism is workable only in heaven, where it isn't needed, and in hell, where they've got it"

"Socialism takes, capitalism creates"

"Socialism works so well that people build boats from trash to escape it"

"Socialist: A person too stupid to know they are a communist"

"Socialist jokes aren't funny unless everybody gets them"

Socialist Security (Social Security nickname)

Socialistacrat (socialist + Sandinista + bureaucrat)

"Socialists: A bunch of rich people convincing poor people to vote for the rich people..."

"Socialists are the flat earthers of economics"

"Socialists are the flat earthers of politics"

"Socialists are the flat earthers of the economy"

"Society gets the police force it deserves"

"Society has become so fake that the truth actually bothers people"

"Society is like a stew"

"Sociology is just applied psychology, which is applied biology..."

Sock and Sausage Fests (criticism of street fairs)

Sock Hop (Sox Hop)

Sock Puppet

SoCo (South Congress Avenue, Austin)

SoCo (South of Columbia University)

SoCon (Social Conservative)

Soda (for "pop")

Soda Jerk (Soda Jerker)

"Soda water is just liquid tv static"

"Soda water tastes like tv static"

Sodom by the Sea (Coney Island)

Sodom South (Greenwich Street between Carlisle and Rector Streets)

SoFi (South of Fifth Avenue or South of Flatiron)

SoFi (South of Fifth Street)

SoFlo (South Florida)

SoFlo (South Flores Street, San Antonio)

SoFo (South of Fourth Street)

Soft Despotism

Soft Tyranny

Softball Question

SoHa (South of Harlem)

SoHell (South of Hell's Kitchen)

SoHo (South of Houston Street)

SOHO candy bar (from Turkey)

SoLa (South Lamar Boulevard, Austin)

"Solar eclipse glasses for sale. Only worn once"

"Solar energy is the future, but it won't happen overnight"

"Solar power is the future, but it won't happen overnight"

"Solar power is the way forward, but it won't happen overnight"

Solarcoaster (solar stocks + roller coaster)

SOLE Food (Sustainable, Organic, Local, Ethical)

Solita (South of Little Italy)

"Solitaire is really just a needlessly convoluted way to unshuffle a deck of cards"

"Silly Straws implies the existence of Straws That Have Had Just About Enough Of Your Shit"

Solo Arts Festival

"Solo home runs don't beat you" (baseball adage)

SoMa (South of Macy's)

Sombrero (cocktail)

"Some cool photos of all the places I visited in 2020" (quarantine joke)

"Some day, Canada will rule the world. Then you'll all be sorry"

"Some days are better, some days are worse. Look for the blessing instead of the curse"

"Some days I feel like I'm surrounded by idiots. Other days I realize it's not just some days"

"Some days I swear I'm gonna give up. Some days I swear I'll never give up. Some days I just swear"

"Some days, the best thing about my job is that the chair spins"

"Some days we need to drink our coffee strong, play our music loud and just get our stuff done"

"Some days you feel like you're surrounded by idiots. Other days you realize it's not just some days"

"Some days you make the coffee. Other days the coffee makes you"

"Some days you make the coffee. Some days the coffee makes you"

"Some days you're the donut. Some days you're the hole"

"Some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue"

"Some debts are fun when you're acquiring them, but none are fun when you're retiring them"

"Some fairy tales begin, 'If i'm elected'"

"Some folks exercise their right to vote. I vote my right to not exercise"

"Some folks exercise their right to vote. I vote my right to not exercise"

"Some folks look at me and see swagger, which in Texas is called 'walking'" (George W. Bush)

"Some girls are made of sarcasm, wine, and everything fine"

"Some girls climb the ladder of success wrong by wrong"

"Some guy hit my fender, and I told him, 'Be fruitful and multiply'"

"Some guy just honked at me to leave my parking space faster, so now I'll just have to sit here"

"Some guy proposed in the gym, but she said no. It didn't workout"

"Some herbs taste much better at Christmas. It's the most wonderful thyme of the year"

"Some idiot at the gym put a water bottle in the Pringles can holder of this treadmill"

"Some like carrots, others like cabbage"

"Some like it hot, some like it cold" (Pease Porridge Hot or Pease Pudding Hot)

"Some men are wise and some are otherwise"

"Some mornings it's best just to fill the sink with coffee, dunk your head in it and suck"

"Some mornings it's best to just fill the sink with coffee, dunk your head in it and suck"

"Some of my best friends are Jews"

"Some of my friends are running marathons, half marathons, meanwhile I'm watching a show..."

"Some of my friends exercise every day, meanwhile I'm watching a show..."

"Some of the best moments are never captured by cameras and are not posted in any social media"

"Some of y’all are broke because once u get money, your tastebuds become allergic to the food at home"

"Some of y’all are going to keep trusting the Government until your pronouns are ‘was/were'"

"Some of y’all are gonna keep trusting the Government until your pronouns are ‘was/were'"

"Some of y’all need to go to AA meetings.. Amazon Anonymous"

"Some Old Indian Wisdom... 'Silence is always better than bullshit'"

"Some only dream of cake. Others bake it happen"

"Some people age like fine wine. Me? I aged like milk. I got sour and chunky"

"Some people are like blisters — they don't show up until the work is done"

"Some people are so busy learning the tricks of the trade that they never learn the trade"

"Some people are so poor, all they have is money"

"Some people battle their way to the top, while others bottle their way to the bottom"

"Some people develop a wishbone where their back bone should be"

"Some people dream of success; others stay awake and achieve it"

"Some people enjoy a day off on the 4th of July, but not fire. Fire works"

"Some people grin and bear it; others smile and change it"

"Some people grow, other people swell"

"Some people have a vision. Others have a television"

"Some people just need a high-five. In the face. With a chair"

"Some people like to relax with a glass of wine... And others prefer a bottle"

"Some people need to realize that Facebook is a social network, not a diary"

"Some people pay a compliment as if they expected a receipt"

"Some people recommend horse manure on strawberries, but I prefer whipped cream"

"Some people say I have a bad attitude. I say screw them!"

"Some people say I'm addicted to somersaults, but that's just how I roll"

"Some people say I'm crazy because I talk to my food. My sauces tell me otherwise"

"Some people want to check government spending and some people want to spend government checks"

"Some people won't try bacon for religious reasons. I won't try religion for bacon reasons"

"Some people wouldn't know tyranny if it covered their faces, locked them in their homes..."

"Some people write ‘lockdown’ because they can’t spell Kwarinteen"

"Some pumpkins" (something of importance)

"Some punkins" (something of importance)

"Some things are better left unsaid, but I'll probably get drunk and say them anyway"

"Some things in life are okay to be left unfinished. Wine is not one of them"

"Some Village in Texas Is Missing Its Idiot"

"Some women want to be wined and dined, I want to be margarita’d and taco’d"

"Somebody asked if I have time to spell Wonton backwards? I said, 'not now'"

"Somebody broke into my house yesterday and stole all my lamps. I was delighted"

"Somebody has to do something, and it's just incredibly pathetic that it has to be us"

"Somebody just gave me a free air guitar -- no strings attached"

"Somebody just threw a jar of mayonnaise at me. I was like, 'What the Hellmann?'"

"Somebody should market a beer called 'Occasionally' so I can say, 'I only drink occasionally'"

"Somebody's gotta win and somebody's gotta lose and I believe in letting the other guy lose"

"Someday is not a day of the week"

"Someone asked me for directions, so you can call me a real New Yorker"

"Someone asked me if I had plans for the fall. It took me a moment to realize they meant 'autumn'"

"Someone asked me what my occupation was. I said I was always pre-occupied"

"Someone called the Kentucky Derby 'Amish Nascar' and my day hasn't been the same"

"Someone complimented my parking, leaving a note saying 'Parking Fine'"

"Someone crash the housing market again so I can buy a place to live"

"Someone deffo farts in packets of ham before they are sealed"

"Someone has glued my deck of cards together. I don't know how to deal with it"

"Someone has glued my pack of cards together. I don't know how to deal with it"

"Someone keeps adding soil to my allotment The plot thickens..."

"Someone keeps putting vegetables in the beer crisper"

"Someone offered me a nice cup of green tea. So naturally I said yes, matcha-bliged"

"Someone offered me grapes, but I declined. I'm not used to consuming wine in pill form"

"Someone open a food truck that specializes in dumplings. Call it The Dump Truck"

"Someone please call 9 Wine Wine"

"Someone removed the fifth month from all my calendars. I am really dismayed"

"Someone should rewrite the history books to refer to ancient spice traders as thyme travelers"

"Someone should start a rumor of a shortage of jobs so everybody panics and gets one"

"Someone stole my broken calculator, but I don't know why. It just doesn't add up"

"Someone stole my coffee cup from work today. I'm off to the police station to look at mug shots"

"Someone stole some of my rap CDs. Oh well, no biggie"

"Someone threw a bottle of mayo at me. I was like, what the Hellmann"

"Someone who is busier than you is running right now"

"Someone who makes you laugh is a comedian; someone who makes you think, then laugh is a humorist"

"Someone who puts up Halloween decorations early suffers from premature ejackolantern"

"Someone wrote a book on clocks? It's about time!"

"Someone's just thrown a bottle of Omega 3 tablets at me. I only received super fish oil injuries"

"Someone's stollen my German Christmas cake"

"Something in the water" (cause of unusual activity)

"Something rotten in the cotton"

"Sometimes all you need is a billion dollars"

"Sometimes all you need is a hug from the right person and all your stress will melt away"

"Sometimes getting unfriended on Facebook is magical...really...it's like the trash took itself out"

"Sometimes I can't figure out if I'm in preschool or high school. Oh wait, I'm at work"

"Sometimes I cook with hate just to see if anyone can really tell the difference"

"Sometimes I delete my own posts because I'm not the same person I was 4 minutes ago"

"Sometimes I delete my own posts because I'm not the same person I was 5 minutes ago"

"Sometimes I drink water just to surprise my liver"

"Sometimes I eat healthy. Other times, I use cookies as spoons"

"Sometimes I fall apart and that's okay" (taco meme)

"Sometimes I feel like giving up. Then I remember I have a lot of MFers to prove wrong"

"Sometimes I feel like throwing in the towel...but that would only make more laundry for me"

"Sometimes I feel like throwing in the towel, but you know what that means...more laundry"

"Sometimes I get road rage walking behind people at the grocery store"

"Sometimes I get road rage walking behind people in the grocery store"

"Sometimes I go hours without drinking coffee. It's called sleeping"

"Sometimes I like coffee more than people"

"Sometimes I make words up to sound more smartaculous"

"Sometimes I post shit just to see whose head explodes"

"Sometimes I read a text and think 'what a fuckin psycho!' and then I hit send"

"Sometimes I read a text and think what a fucking psychopath. Then press send"

"Sometimes I read a text and think, what a psycho. Then I press send"

"Sometimes I see people pour a glass of wine and only fill it halfway, and I'm like okay..."

"Sometimes I sits and thinks, and then again I just sits"

"Sometimes I take a bath because it's hard to drink wine in the shower"

"Sometimes I take baths because it's hard to drink wine in the shower"

"Sometimes I take baths because it's harder to drink wine in the shower"

"Sometimes I text and drive. I know it's dangerous, but I do stupid things when I'm drunk"

"Sometimes I text while I'm driving. I know it's dangerous, but I do stupid things when I'm drunk"

"Sometimes I tweet shit just to see whose head explodes"

"Sometimes I use big words I don't understand so I can sound more photosynthesis"

"Sometimes I wanna quit social media but then it would be a better place without me so I stay"

"Sometimes I watch football holding a PlayStation controller just to screw with girlfriend's head"

"Sometimes I watch football holding a PlayStation controller just to screw with girlfriend's head"

"Sometimes I wish the government would just ban itself"

"Sometimes I wonder how many miles I’ve scrolled my mouse wheel"

"Sometimes I wonder how vegans survive off of what little they eat, but they feed off attention"

"Sometimes I wonder if all of this is happening because I didn’t forward that message"

"Sometimes I wonder what happened to the people who asked me for directions"

"Sometimes I wonder whether the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on"

"Sometimes I write 'drink coffee' on my to-do list, just so I feel like I accomplished something"

"Sometimes I write 'Drink Wine' on my to-do list, just so I feel like I accomplished something"

"Sometimes I write 'drink wine' on my to-do list so I feel like I got something done"

"Sometimes I write 'drink wine' on my to-do list so that I feel like I accomplished something"

"Sometimes I'm healthy AF and sometimes I use cookies as a spoon for ice cream"

Sometimes Islands (Lake Travis)

"Sometimes it takes an overwhelming breakdown to have an undeniable breakthrough"

"Sometimes it's not about how good you are, but how bad you want it"

"Sometimes opening your eyes may be the most painful thing you ever have to do"

"Sometimes reasonable men must do unreasonable things"

"Sometimes someone unexpected comes into your life outta nowhere, makes your heart race..."

"Sometimes the best medicine grows from weeds"

"Sometimes the best trades are the ones you don't make" (sports adage)

"Sometimes the easiest way to solve a problem is to stop participating in the problem"

"Sometimes the first step to forgiveness is realizing the other person was born an idiot"

"Sometimes the first step to forgiveness is understanding that the other person is a complete idiot"

"Sometimes the first step to forgiveness is understanding the other person is an idiot"

"Sometimes the smallest step in the right direction ends up being the biggest step"

"Sometimes we’re tested, not to show our weakness, but to discover our strength"

"Sometimes we're tested. Not to show our weaknesses, but to discover our strengths"

"Sometimes when I reflect on all the beer I drink ..." (Babe Ruth?)

"Sometimes when I'm bored, I drink some water just to shock my liver"

"Sometimes you eat the bear and sometimes the bear eats you"

"Sometimes you have to be your own hero"

"Sometimes you have to choose between planting roots and growing wings"

"Sometimes you just gotta throw up and start drinking again"

"Sometimes you just have to sit in the car and let the song finish"

"Sometimes you meet people who change your life for the better. Those people are called baristas"

"Sometimes you run into people who change your life for the better. Those people are bartenders"

"Sometimes you win, sometimes you learn"

"Sometimes your freedom is not taken away at gunpoint, but instead it is done one piece of paper..."

"Somewhere between living and dreaming, there's New York"

"Somewhere between living and dreaming, there's New York City"

"Somewhere, someone is showering with a mask on. I just know it"

"Somewhere there’s a bottle of Caesar salad dressing with an expiration date of March 15"

Son Of a Bitch, Everything's Real ("sober" backronym)

Son-of-a-Bitch Stew (Son-of-a-Gun Stew)

"Son, you're just not cut out to be a mime."/"Is it something I said?"/"Yes."

"Song and dance" (slang, "false story")

Sonny Mae or Sony Mae (State of New York Mortgage Agency or SONYMA)

Sonoran Hot Dog (bacon-wrapped hot dog)

Sons of Anarchy (Jets defensive line nickname)

Sons of the Wild Jackass

"Stop killing doves to make Dove soap" (fake protest sign)

Sopaipilla (Sopapilla)

Sope (appetizer)

"Sopes are just flat tacos"

SoPo (south of power)

Soppin' Sauce (Sopping Sauce; Sop Sauce; Moppin' & Soppin' Sauce; Mop & Sop Sauce)

"Sore. The most satisfying feeling"

"Sore. The most satisfying pain"

Sorority

Sorority Sauce (ranch dressing)

Sorrento Cheese Festival

"Sorry boss, I can't come in today. I have a wee cough" (joke)

"Sorry for anything I said when it was 109° outside"

"Sorry for driving so close in front of you" (bumper sticker)

"Sorry for the inconvenience. We are trying to change the world"

"Sorry, I can't go to school tomorrow. I fractured my motivation"

"Sorry, I can't go to work tomorrow. I fractured my motivation"

"Sorry I'm late. Traffic is exactly how it’s been every day and I was not expecting that"

"Sorry we're closed but still awesome" (store sign)

"Sorry, We're Open" & 24/8 (Magnolia Cafe, Austin)

"Sorry, you can't come in here without a Thai" (restaurant joke)

SOS (sauce on the side)

SoSo (South of Southtown, San Antonio)

"Sotally tober" (joke on "totally sober")

Soubrette Row (West 39th Street)

Soul Food

"Soul! soul! for an apple or two. If you've got no apples, pears will do"

Soup-and-Fish (a dinner suit)

"Soup is dinner cereal"

"Soup is just a hot vegetable smoothie"

"Soup is just food flavored tea"

"Soup is just seasoned water"

"Soup is liquid comfort"

"Soup is salad tea"

Soup Jockey (waiter or waitress)

"Soup Nazi"

"Soup of the day implies another, possibly even seductive, soup of the night"

"Soup of the Day implies that there is another dark and mysterious evening soup...Soup of the Night"

"Soup of the Day: Whiskey"

Soup of the Devil (Devil's Soup) (=chili)

Soup of the Night (soupe de la nuit; soupe du soir; soup du soir)

Soup Sandwich

Soupervisor (soup + supervisor)

"Soup's on (the table)!"

"Sour cream is just savory yogurt"

"Sour cream is just savoury yogurt"

"Sour cream is the mayo of the taco"

"Sour cream is the mayonnaise of Mexican food"

"Sour cream is the mayonnaise of the taco world"

"Sourdough starter implies the existence of a sourdough ender"

South Brooklyn's Secret Suburb (Ditmas Park, Brooklyn)

South By or Southby (South by Southwest or SXSW)

South Carolina: Palmetto State (nickname)

South Carolina: "South Carolina is too small for a republic and too large for an insane asylum"

South Carolina: Weasel (nickname)

South Dakota: Blizzard State (nickname)

South Dakota: Coyote State (nickname)

South Dallas (North Austin nickname)

South Hudson Institute of Technology (West Point nickname)

South of the Border Cider

South Texas Crossroads (Victoria city, county nickname)

South Waco Shrimp (chicken tails)

Southern Millionaires University (Southern Methodist University/SMU nickname)

"Southerners don’t measure seasonings. We just sprinkle and shake"

"Southerners saying 'sweet Jesus' implies the existence of umami Jesus, spicy Jesus, sour Jesus"

Southside Fade (haircut)

Southwaste Airlines (Southwest Airlines nickname)

Southwaste (for "southwest")

Southwest Burger (Southwestern Burger)

Southwest Salad or Southwestern Salad (Southwest Chicken Salad or Southwestern Chicken Salad)

Southwest (Southwestern)

Southwestern Crab Cakes (Southwest Crab Cakes)

Southwestern Egg Rolls (Southwestern Eggrolls; Southwest Egg Rolls)

Southwestern Pimm's Cup (cocktail)

Southwestern Vegetable Soup (Southwest Vegetable Soup)

Southworst Airlines (Southwest Airlines nickname)

Southworst (for "southwest")

Sovereign District (U.S. Attorney's Office, Southern District of New York)

Soviet Poverty Law Center (Southern Poverty Law Center or SPLC nickname)

Soviet Poverty Lie Center (Southern Poverty Law Center or SPLC nickname)

"Soy sauce in Spanish means 'I am sauce'"

"Soy to the World" (soy + Joy to the World)

"'Soybean' is a Spanish word which roughly translates as 'I am bean'" (joke)

Space Cake (containing cannabis)

Space City, USA (Houston nickname)

"Space cowboys imply the existence of space cows"

Spaceman (Austin American-Statesman nickname)

Spagging (photos of spaghetti eaters)

Spaghetteria (restaurant serving spaghetti)

Spaghetti and Meatballs (Meatballs and Spaghetti)

Spaghetti Bollock-Knees (Spaghetti Bolognese)

Spaghetti Bowl (Gulf Coast pipeline system)

"Spaghetti is just alphabet soup in cursive"

"Spaghetti is just Italian lo mein"

"Spaghetti is just Italian ramen"

"Spaghetti is just slimy bread yarn"

Spaghetti Park (William Moore Park in Corona, Queens)

Spaghetti Parm (Spaghetti Parmesan; Spaghetti Parmigiana)

Spaghetti Tetrazzini

Spaghetti Western (Chili Western; Green Chile Western)

SpaHa (Spanish Harlem)

Spailout (Spain/Spanish + bailout)

Spaldeen (Spalding High-Bounce Ball)

"Spam is the Velveeta of meat"

"Spam is the Velveeta of meats"

Spandering (Spanish-speaker pandering)

Spanglish

"Spanish Harlem" (1960)

Spankees or Wankees (NY Yankees derogatory nicknames)

Spankopedia (jocular spelling of "spanakopita")

Sparkling City by the Sea (Corpus Christi nickname)

"Sparkling water is angry water and I do not need that kind of negativity in my life"

"Sparkling water is just angry water"

"Sparkling water is just liquid tv static"

"Sparkling water is just spicy water"

"Sparkling water sounds so pure, so aesthetically pleasing, but in actuality? It is...repulsive"

"Sparkling water sounds way more delicious than it actually is"

"Sparkling water tastes how tv static looks"

"Sparkling water tastes like when your foot falls asleep"

"Sparkling water tastes like when your leg falls asleep"

"Sparkling water tastes like when your legs fall asleep"

Spasagna (Spaghetti + Lasagna)

"Speak in such a way that others love to listen to you"

"Speak in such a way that people listen to you. Listen in such a way that people speak to you"

"Speak the truth, even if your voice shakes"

"Speak truth to power"

"Speak when you are angry and you'll make the best speech you'll ever regret"

Speakeasy (Speak-easy)

Speakstakes (Speaker + sweepstakes)

Speckenwolf Pizza (Specken Wolf Pizza)

Specuvestor (speculator + investor)

"Speeches are like babies -- easy to conceive, hard to deliver"

Speed Bump

"Speed bumps are just expensive inverted potholes"

"Speed costs money. How fast do you want to go?" (motor sports adage)

"Speed is subsittute fo accurancy"

Spellebrity (spelling bee + celebrity)

Spelling Bee (Spelling Match)

"Spelling is a lossed art"

"Spelling is my fortay"

"Spelling is not my fortay"

"Spelling isn't my fortay"

"Spend like drunken sailors" ("Spend like a drunken sailor")

Spendaholic (spend + -aholic)

Spexit (Spain/Spanish + exit)

Sphinx of Wall Street

Spice Mecca (Kalustyan’s nickname)

"Spice -- the fennel frontier"

Spicedictive (spice + addictive)

"Spicy food is BDSM for your mouth"

"Spicy food is like BDSM for your taste buds"

"Spicy food is like BDSM for your tongue"

"Spiderman has a winter jacket made of Mediterranean flatbread. It’s called a Pita Parka"

"Spiders are the only web developers that are happy to find bugs"

"Spiders are the only web developers that enjoy finding bugs"

"Spill the beans" (to reveal a secret)

"Spill the tea" or "Spill the T" (tell the truth)

"Spilling a beer is the adult equivalent of losing a balloon"

"Spilling a beer is the adult equivalent to losing a balloon"

"Spilling a drink is the adult equivalent of losing a balloon"

"Spilling a full beer you paid for is the adult equivalent of letting go of a balloon"

"Spilling coffee is the adult equivalent of losing your balloon"

"Spilling coffee is the adult equivalent to losing a balloon"

"Spilling hot coffee on your lap wakes you up faster than drinking it"

"Spilling Parmesan all over my laptop gives a whole new meaning to Mac 'n' Cheese"

"Spilling wine is the adult equivalent of letting go of a balloon"

"Spilling your beer is the adult equivalent of letting go of a balloon"

"Spilling your drink is the adult equivalent of letting your balloon go"

"Spilling your full glass of wine is the adult equivalent of letting go of a balloon"

"Spilling your glass of wine is the adult equivalent of letting go of a balloon"

Spillion (oil spill + million gallons/dollars); Spillionaire (oil spill + millionaire)

Spinach and Artichoke Dip (with tortilla chips)

Spinach Capital of the World (Crystal City nickname)

Spine of Texas (Interstate 35)

Spirit of Communication (Golden Boy)

Spit-take

SPK (salt, pepper, ketchup)

Splash Crash

Splash Out of the Garden (vegetable soup)

Splash Play

Splashtastic (the winning horse on a wet track)

"Split happens" (bowling saying)

Spokane (pork and beans)

Spokes-hack (spokesman/spokesperson + hack)

Spokes-idiot (spokesman/spokesperson + idiot)

Spokes-liar (spokesman/spokesperson + liar)

Spokes-tool (spokesman/spokesperson + tool)

Spokeshole (spokesman/spokesperson + asshole)

Spooktacular (spook + spectacular)

"Spooning leads to forking"

"Spoons are just little bowls with handles"

Spoonula (spoon + spatula)

Spornosexual (sport + porno + sexual)

Sport Pepper

Sports Capital of Texas (Round Rock slogan)

Sports Cosplay (fans wearing sports jerseys)

"Sports do not build character -- they reveal it"

"Sports fans wearing jerseys is jock cosplay"

"Sports is the toy department of life"

Sprots (misspelling of "sports")

Sportsmen's Row (Eighth Avenue, Park Slope)

Spox (spokesperson)

"Spread love as thick as you would Nutella"

"Spread love as thick as you would peanut butter"

"Spread my work ethic, not my wealth"

"Spreading liberty from a political party is like spreading chastity from a whorehouse"

"Spring being a tough act to follow, God created June"

Spring Black Friday

Spring Break for Nerds (SXSW nickname)

"Spring cleaning is my favorite way to find out I'm a hoarder"

"Spring cleaning is usually the time of year when I'm reminded that I'm a hoarder"

Spring Egg; Spring Egg Hunt/Roll (Easter Egg; Easter Egg Hunt/Roll)

Spring Forward, Fall Back

"Spring has sprung, the grass has riz, I wish I were in the chocolate biz! Happy Easter"

"Spring is a lovely reminder of how beautiful change can truly be"

"Spring is an excellent reminder that I was supposed to get in shape before spring"

"Spring is an excellent reminder that I was supposed to get in shape before spring"

"Spring is here! I'm so excited I wet my plants"

"Spring is nature's way of saying, 'Let's party!'"

"Spring is not the best of seasons. Cold and flu are two good reasons"

"Spring is when you feel like whistling even with a shoe full of slush"

"Spring needs to stand up to winter and kick it in the snowballs"

Spring Roll Street (Spring Street)

Spring Sphere (Easter egg)

"Sprinkles are edible glitter"

"Sprinkles are for cupcakes, not toilet seats"

"Sprinkles are for cupcakes, not toilets"

"Sprinkles are for winners"

"Sprinkles are just glitter for food"

Sprinkles (Jimmies)

"Sprint to the podium" (player draft expression)

Sprinter (spring + winter)

Sprite Airlines (Spirit Airlines nickname)

"Sprite is a poor man's 7 Up"

"Sprite is just angry water"

"Sprite is just spicy water"

Spritzer

Sprummer (spring + summer)

Spucky, Spuckie or Spukie (sandwich)

Spur Capital of Texas (Gatesville nickname)

Sputniks (Metropolitan Opera House chandeliers)

Square Dance Capital of the World (McAllen nickname)

Square Meal

"Square meals make round people"

"Squat because nobody ever wrote a song about a small ass"

"Squats for the hots" (weightlifting saying)

"Squats for the thots" (weightlifting saying)

"Squats for the twats' (weightlifting saying)

"Squats? I thought you said, 'Let's do shots'"

"Squats? I thought you said shots"

"Squirrels -- Nature's little speed bumps"

"Sriracha is just hipster ketchup"

"Sriracha is just sexy ketchup"

Srirachapocalypse (Sriracha sauce + apocalypse)

SRO (Single Room Occupancy)

SRO (Standing Room Only)

"Security at every level of the airport is insane until you get to the baggage claim..."

St. John the Unfinished (St. John the Divine)

"St. Patrick’s Day is just Cinco de Mayo for gingers living in Florida"

"St. Patrick's Day is like Valentine's Day for people who love beer"

"St. Patrick's Day is like Valentine's Day for people who love beer and bad decisions"

"St. Patrick's Day is like Valentine's Day for people who love fun"

"St. Patrick's Day is like Valentine's Day for people who love Jameson and bad decisions"

"St. Patrick's Day is like Valentine's Day for people who love whiskey and bad decisions"

St. Patrick's Day Parade

"St. Patrick's Day puns don't just shame you. They Seamus all"

"St. Patty's Day is just Cinco de Mayo for gingers"

St. Paul Sandwich

St. Wapniacl (Cabinet mnemonic)

Stable Row

Stacked Enchiladas (Enchiladas Chatas) or Mounted Enchiladas (Enchiladas Montadas)

Stage-door Johnny

Stage Mother

Stairway to Heaven

Stairway to Nowhere (nickname of Vessel at Hudson Yards)

Stalingrad & Poorski (Standard & Poor's nickname)

Stand and Deliver (singing with limited theatrical movement)

"Stand up for what is right, even if you stand alone"

Standard American Diet (SAD)

"Standing closer to me in line will not get you to the checkout faster"

"Standing less than 6 feet apart is the new first base"

"Standing Over Texas" (Tex Randall statue slogan)

Stank of America (Bank of America nickname)

Star (cocktail)

Star of the Texas Hill Country (Comfort slogan)

Star-Spangled Banner (Star-Spangled Flag)

Starbuckese or Starbucksese (language of Starbucks)

"Starbucks isn’t really that expensive when you consider what Victoria's Secret charges per cup"

Starbugs (Starbucks nickname)

Starfucks (Starbucks nickname)

"Starry is a poor man's Sprite"

Stars and Scrubs (player acquisition strategy)

Stars and Stripes (pork and beans nickname)

"Start a movement -- eat a prune"

"Start each day with a positive thought like, 'I can go back to bed in 16 or 17 short hours'"

"Start each day with a positive thought like, 'I can go back to bed in about 17 short hours'"

"Start each day with a positive thought like, 'I can go back to bed in just 17 short hours'"

"Start every day with a smile and get it over with"

"Start every phone call with, 'My battery is almost dead'"

"Start Here. Get There." (Austin Community College)

"Start to resist or cease to exist"

"Start unknown, finish unforgettable"

"Starting your day with an early morning run is a great way to make sure your day can’t get worse"

"Starve your distractions. Feed your focus"

Stat Rat (inhabitant of Staten Island)

State-Run Media (SRM)

Staten Island Chuck (groundhog weather prognosticator)

Staten Island (cocktail)

Staten Island Ferry (cocktail)

Staten Island Pizza Rats (Staten Island Yankees nickname)

Staten Island Sinker (spitball)

Staten Island Tuxedo

Staten Islander (inhabitant of Staten Island)

Staten Island's Crown Jewel (Sailors' Snug Harbor)

Staten Italy (Staten Island + Italy)

"States are the laboratories of democracy"

Static Island (static + Staten Island)

Statin Island (statin + Staten Island)

"Statism: Ideas so good they have to be mandatory"

"Statism is the belief that a group of people who can't fix potholes can fix an entire planet"

"Statism is the national religion. Public school is where the catechism is taught"

"Statism is the utopian ideal that just the right amount of violence used by just the right..."

"Statism: The belief that you require permission to be free"

"Statism: The most dangerous religion"

"Statism: The world's most popular religion"

"Statistically, a gun is far less likely to be used in a crime than a Senator is"

"Statistically, a gun is much less likely to be used in a crime than a Senator"

"Statisticians love large sample sizes. As they say, the n’s justify the means"

"Statistics are for losers"

"Statistics are just people's stories with the tears wiped away"

"Statistics are like bikinis -- what they reveal is interesting, but what they conceal is vital"

"Statistics are like ladies of the night. Once you get them down, you can do anything with them"

"Statistics are to baseball what a flaky crust is to Mom's apple pie"

"Statistics show that criminals commit less crime after they've been shot"

Stato Institute (Cato Institute nickname)

"Stats show that the average person has sex 89 times a year. Looks like i'm in for a wild December"

Statue of Justice or Lady Gotham (Batman's Statue of Liberty)

Statue of King George III (Bowling Green; erected 1770, destroyed 1776)

Statue of Liberty (Liberty Enlightening the World)

Statue of Liberty Play (football)

Statue of Liberty Play (football)

Statue of Liberty Slam Dunk (basketball)

Statue of Liberty Slam Dunk (basketball)

Stawk (stock)

"Stay alert. Don't get hurt" (safety slogan)

"Stay away from negative people. They have a problem for every solution"

"Stay back 500 feet until I've had my coffee"

"Stay back! My 'low coffee light' is blinking"

"Stay home if u sicc. Come over if u thicc"

"Stay home if you sicc. Come over if you thicc"

"Stay home if you're sicc. Come over if you're thicc"

"'Stay home, save lives' should be America’s foreign policy"

"Stay home, save lives should be our foreign policy, not our public health policy"

"Stay hungry"

"Stay inside, isolate or practice social distancing, clean yourself. Omg, I’ve become a housecat"

"Stay low, go fast, kill first, die last, one shot, one kill, no luck, all skill" (military slogan)

"Stay low, move fast, kill first, die last, one shot, one kill, no luck, pure skill" (motto)

"Stay on the ice and pay the price" (hockey adage)

"Stay positive, work hard and make it happen"

"Stay strapped or get clapped" (pro-gun adage)

"Stay strapped or get clapped -- Sun Tzu, 'The Art of War'"

"Stay thirsty"

"Stay tuned"

"Staying in bed all day is my way of saving money"

Steak de Burgo

Steak Diane

Steak Fingers (Steakfingers)

Steak Fries (potatoes)

Steak Murphy

Steak Row (East 45th Street)

Steak Soup

"Steak: the only plant-based food you need!"

Steakery (steak + eatery)

Steakhouse Index

"Steal a hot stove and then come back for the smoke" (brazen criminal)

"Steal a little and they throw you in jail; steal a lot and they make you king"

"Steal a news van. It's the perfect crime. How will they ever report it?"

"Steel prices cause inflation like wet sidewalks cause rain"

"Steel sharpens steel" (wrestling adage)

"Steers and Queers"

STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering, Mathematics)

Stemwinder

"Step 1: It's not really happening Step 2: Yeah, it's happening, but it's not a big deal..."

"Step aside, Monday. This is a job for coffee"

Step Into The Real Texas (Amarillo motto)

"Step on a crack, break your mother's back" (sidewalk saying)

Stepford Media

Stephan Weiss Apple Awards (2011-2018)

"Stepped on my scale this morning and it said: 'Please use social distancing, one person at a time'"

Sterngating (stern + tailgating)

Sternie (Howard Stern fan; NYU Stern School of Business or Yeshiva University Stern College student)

Steuben Day Parade

STFR (Sell The Fucking Rip; Sell The Fucking Rally)

"Stick a fork in him (he's done)"

Stick Ball

"Kick save and a beauty!" (great save by the goalie in hockey)

"Stick to your knitting" (business adage)

Sticker Shock

"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never harm me"

"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never harm me"

Still Not Laughing (Saturday Night Live or SNL backronym)

Stinger (steak + chicken finger); Stinger Fries; Stinger Pizza; Stinger Taco

Stink Progress or StinkProgress (Think Progress nickname)

Stinkadena (Pasadena nickname)

Stinkberry (Pinkberry nickname)

Stinky Tofu (chòu dòufu)

"Stir the eggnog, lift the toddy. Happy New Year, everybody"

Stock Picker's Market (Stock Pickers' Market)

"Stock to a cook is voice to a singer" ("Chicken to a cook is like a canvas to a painter")

Stockalypse (stock + apocalypse)

StoHo (Stone House District)

"Stolen elections have consequences"

Stone Belt (Kidney Stone Belt)

Stooge

Stooge

Stoopball (Stoop Ball)

"Stop and smell the rosé"

"Stop animal testing! They get really nervous and give the wrong answers"

"Stop blaming your poor life choices on capitalism"

"Stop blaming yourself and others. Learn Feng Shui and blame the furniture"

"Stop blaming yourself for your failures. Learn astrology and blame the planets"

"Stop blaming yourself or others. Learn Feng Shui and blame the furniture"

"Stop calling it a refund. You overpaid all year. You got your change back"

"Stop calling them 'the elites.' Call them by what they really are: 'the parasites'"

"Stop complaining about your life. There are literally people living in California"

"Stop complaining about your life. There are literally people living in California and New York"

"Stop complaining about your life. There are literally people living in Florida"

"Stop complaining about your life. There are literally people living in Illinois"

"Stop complaining about your life. There are literally people living in New York and California"

"Stop complaining about your life. There are literally people living in New York City"

"Stop crying about your problems on internet. Bottle them up inside and disguise them with humor"

"Stop eating out, cook at home and you'll lose weight. Quarantine determined that was a lie!"

"Stop global warming before all the chocolate melts!"

"Stop global whining. Gag a liberal"

"Stop killing air to make airplanes" (fake protest sign)

"Stop killing air to make AirPods" (fake protest sign)

"Stop killing air to make airports" (fake protest sign)

"Stop killing aligators to make Gatoraid" (fake protest sign)

"Stop killing alligators to make Gatorade" ("Stop killing aligators to make Gatoraid" original)

"Stop killing babies to make baby oil" (fake protest sign)

"Stop killing babies to make baby powder" (fake protest sign)

"Stop killing buffalo for their wings" (fake protest sign)

"Stop killing bulls to make Red Bull" (fake protest sign)

"Stop killing butterflies to make butter" (fake protest sign)

"Stop killing crocodiles to make Crocs" (fake protest sign)

"Stop killing doctors to make Dr Pepper" (fake protest sign)

"Stop killing ducks to make duck tape" (fake protest sign)

"Stop killing fish for their fingers" (fake protest sign)

"Stop killing French people to make French fries" (fake protest sign)

"Stop killing French people to make French toast" (fake protest sign)

"Stop killing gingers to make ginger ale" (fake protest sign)

"Stop killing gingers to make gingerbread" (fake protest sign)

"Stop killing gorillas to make gorilla glass" (fake protest sign)

"Stop killing gorillas to make gorilla glue" (fake protest sign)

"Stop killing mothers to make motherboards" (fake protest sign)

"Stop killing mountains to make Mountain Dew" (fake protest sign)

"Stop killing turtles to make Turtle Wax" (fake protest sign)

"Stop killing turtles to make turtlenecks" (fake protest sign)

"Stop killing volcanoes to make lava lamps" (fake protest sign)

"Stop killing wild turkeys to make whiskey" (fake protest sign)

"Stop locking down businesses and start locking up politicians"

"Stop making drama, you're not Shakespeare"

"Stop making dramas, you're not Shakespeare"

"Stop! Or I'll say stop again!" (British policeman or unarmed officer joke)

"Stop posting your problems on Facebook and drink alcohol like the rest of us"

"Stop posting your problems on social media and drink alcohol like the rest of us"

"Stop posting your problems on Twitter and drink alcohol like the rest of us"

"Stop praying. God's too busy to find you a parking spot"

"Stop repeat offenders -- don’t re-elect them"

"Stop saying candy corn is the worst candy. Don't forget that black licorice exists"

"Stop saying women don't cook like Grandma cause some of y'all men don't pay bills like Granddad"

"Stop saying you did your research before you got the injection. You are the research"

"Stop saying you love wings if you order boneless. You love nuggets"

"Stop taking Facebook so seriously. Most of your likes are coming from people on the toilet"

Stoplight City (Evansville, Indiana nickname)

"Store what you eat and eat what you store"

Story Food

Story Stock

Storyfest Capital of Texas (George West)

Stoup (stew + soup)

Straight Up (undiluted)

"Strange how a teapot can represent both solitude and company"

Strap Buckner and the Devil

Straphanger

Strategic Chocolate Reserve (Strategic Petroleum Reserve + chocolate)

Straw-Hat Circuit

Straw Poll (Straw Vote)

"Strawberries really just said, 'Fuck it, seeds on the outside'"

Strawberry Capital of Texas (Poteet nickname)

"Strawberry is the only fruit with its seeds on the outside"

Strawberry Lemonade

Strawberry One-Act Festival ("American Idol for Playwrights")

"Strawberry shortcake, banana split, we think your team plays like -- " (sports cheer)

"Strawberry shortcake implies the existence of strawberry tallcake"

"Straws are the opposite of snorkels"

"Streaks follow streaks" (sports adage)

Streatery (street + eatery)

Streatery (eatery on a street)

Street Arab

Street Food

Street of Dreams (Wall Street)

Street of Dreams (Broadway)

Street of the Midnight Sun (Broadway)

"Street smart is something dumb people say when they want to use the word "smart'"

"Street smart is something dumb people say when they want to use the word "smart'"

Street Smart & Street-Wise

"Street tacos imply the existence of ballroom tacos"

"Street tacos implies the existence of boulevard burritos"

Streetery (street + eatery)

Streetery (eatery on a street)

"Streets of New York (In Old New York)" (1906)

"Strength: A river cuts through a rock not because of its power, but its persistence"

"Strength forged through sacrifice. Never forget." (USS New York motto)

"Strength is breaking a chocolate bar into four pieces with your hands — and then eating just one"

Stress-A-Ride (Access-A-Ride nickname)

"Stress balls have greater effectiveness when thrown at those who cause you the most stress"

"Stress doesn't really go with my outfit"

"Stress is caused by giving a fuck"

"Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet"

Stress Test

"Stressed, blessed and coffee obsessed"

"Stressed, blessed and coffee obsessed"

"Stressed, well-dressed and coffee obsessed"

"Stressed, well-dressed and coffee obsessed"

Stresspresso (stress + espresso)

Strike City

"Strike for show and spare for dough" (bowling adage)

"Strike the next question" (Texas lawyer joke)

"String cheese is just milk jerky"

"String cheese is the sexiest of the cheeses. It's like you get to undress it"

"String tight for control, loose for power" (racket adage)

Strip and Flip (Strip 'n' Flip)

"Strip malls are a whole lot more family friendly than they sound"

"Strip malls aren't as fun as they sound"

"Strip malls aren't as sexy as they sound"

"Strip malls sound way cooler than they are"

Strip Tease

Striped Bass a la Manhattan

"Strippers don’t have A/C in their rooms. OnlyFans"

"Strippers don’t have air conditioning in their homes. OnlyFans"

Strivers' Row (West 138th-West 139th Streets)

"Stroke of the pen, law of the land" (executive orders)

Stroller Alley (John Street in Lower Manhattan)

Stroller Nazi; Stroller Mafia

Strollerville (Park Slope, Brooklyn)

Stromboli

"Stromboli is just a sophisticated hot pocket"

"Stromboli is just fancy Hot Pockets"

"Strong is the new skinny"

"Strong. Light. Cheap. Pick Two" (mountain bike adage)

"Strong people don't eat helpless animals"

"Strong people don't put others down. They lift them up"

"Strong people stand up for themselves; stronger people stand up for others"

Stronghorns (Longhorns + Charlie Strong)

'Stros (Houston Astros baseball team nickname)

Strudel (State Pastry)

Struggle Sandwich

Stubway (shortened version of a longer proposed subway line)

"Stuck on stupid"

Stuckholder

Stud Muffin or Studmuffin (an attractive man)

Student Affluence Test ("SAT" backronym)

"Student loan debt is the new indentured servitude"

"Student: You teach only useless crap! Teacher: Don't be so hard on yourself."

Studio Apartment

Studs and Duds (player acquisition strategy)

"Study finds that hearing an opposing viewpoint causes no harm at all"

"Study finds that hearing an opposing viewpoint causes no real harm"

"Study long, study wrong" (dominoes adage)

"Study Tip: Stand up. Stretch. Take a walk. Go to the airport. Get on a plane. Never return"

"Study (verb) -- The act of texting, eating and watching TV with an open textbook nearby"

"Studying abroad? Take the broad out to dinner before you study her"

"Studying is my drug. But thank God I say no to drugs"

"Studying -- notice how they conveniently put 'dying' at the end of this word"

Stuff and Guff, or Gog and Magog (Herald Square figures)

"Stuff one's face" (to eat greedily)

"Stuffing is just moist croutons"

"Stuffing is just soggy croutons"

"Stuffing is just wet croutons"

Stump Speech

Stumpkin (stout + pumpkin)

Stumptown (Portland nickname)

Stupid Ass Test ("SAT" backronym)

Stupid Bowl (stupid + Super Bowl)

Stupid Party (Republicans) & Evil Party (Democrats)

Stupid Test Acknowledged As Ridiculous ("STAAR" backronym)

"Stupidity is knowing the truth, seeing the truth but still believing the lies"

"Stupidity is the real pandemic"

Stupor Bowl (stupor + Super Bowl)

"Styles make fights" (boxing adage)

"Subaru spelled backwards is 'u r a bus'"

"Sublime: shady spot under a citrus tree"

Submarine Sandwich (Sub Sandwich)

Subourbon (sub-bourbon)

Subourbon (suburb + bourbon)

"Subourbon: Whiskey for the middle class"

Subpoena Cannon

"Substack implies the existence of Domstack"

"Substack implies the existence of Domstack and Switchstack"

Substandard & Poor or Substandard & Porous (Standard & Poor's nickname)

"Substitute teachers imply the existence of domstitute teachers"

"Subtitles are at the bottom of the screen. Domtitles are at the top of the screen"

"Subtitles imply the existence of domtitles"

"Suburbia is where the developer bulldozes out the trees, then names the streets after them"

"Suburbs imply the existence of domburbs"

Subvertising (subvert/subversive + advertising); Subvertisement

Subway Acrobat

Subway Alumni

"Subway is definitely the healthiest fast food available because they make you get out of the car"

Subway Series (Subway World Series)

Subway Shmutz (Schmutz) Survey

Subway Super Bowl

Subway Warts

"Succeed and proceed"

"Success always occurs in private and failure in full view"

"Success comes in cans, not in can'ts"

"Success depends on the second letter"

"Success doesn't come to you. You go to it"

"Success goes to your head, failure to your heart"

"Success is 10% inspiration, 95% perspiration and 5% math"

"Success is a great deodorant"

"Success is a ladder which cannot be climbed with your hands in your pockets"

"Success is a little like wrestling a gorilla. You don’t quit when you’re tired"

"Success is dependent upon the glands -- sweat glands"

"Success is getting what you want; happiness is wanting what you get"

"Success is how high you bounce when you hit bottom"

"Success is like a fart. It only bothers people when it's not their own"

"Success is like being pregnant" (joke)

"Success is normally found in a pile of mistakes"

"Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success"

"Success is often the result of taking a misstep in the right direction"

"Success is outliving your failures"

"Success is relative. The more success, the more relatives"

"Success is something that always comes faster to the man your wife almost married"

"Success is that old ABC: Ability, Breaks and Courage"

"Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss in enthusiasm"

"Success is the art of making your mistakes when no one is looking"

"Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out"

"Success is when your signature becomes an autograph"

"Success occurs when your dreams get bigger than your excuses"

"Success seems to be largely a matter of hanging on after others have let go"

"Success trains. Failure complains"

"Successful entrepreneurs are givers and not takers of positive energy"

Successful Fire (Jewish Lightning)

"Successful pianists know the key to success"

"Successful pianists know the key to success"

Such A Bad Experience, Never Again (Sabena backronymic nickname)

"Suck it up now so you don't have to suck it in later"

Sucker Rally (Sucker's Rally)

Suckretary (suck + secretary)

Sucks Children’s Happiness Out Of Life ("school" backronym)

Sudden Adult Death Syndrome (SADS)

Sudden Athlete Death Syndrome (SADS)

Sudden Fried Chicken (sudden + Southern fried chicken)

Sudden Invented Death Syndrome (SIDS)

Sudden Invented Syndrome Syndrome (SISS)

"Suddenly, staying at home in underwear doing nothing is the most proactive thing you can do"

Suddenlyitis

"Suffer now and live the rest of your life as a champion"

"Suffer the pain of discipline or suffer the pain of regret" (exercise adage)

"Sufferin' succotash" ("Suffering succotash")

Sugar Daddy

"Sugar, eggs, milk...I love it when a flan comes together"

Sugar Hill

Sugar Honey Iced Tea ("shit" backronym)

"Sugar is just gay salt"

"Sugar is sweet and so are you" ("Roses are red...")

"Sugar is the cocaine of the masses"

"Sugar is the cocaine of the food industry"

"Sugar is the cocaine of the food world"

Sugar Lander (inhabitant of Sugar Land)

Sugar Rush (Sugar High)

"Suggesting people can't live without government is like saying animals couldn't survive without..."

"Suggesting that people can't live without government is like suggesting animals can't live..."

Suicide Alley (I-35 lower deck in Austin)

Suicide Circuit (rodeo)

Suicide Hill

"Suicide is man's way of telling God, 'You can't fire me -- I quit!'"

Suicide Pinnacle (observation balcony at Singer Building)

Suicide Soda (Suicide Coke; Graveyard Soda; Swamp Water; Shipwreck; Hurricane; Tornado)

Sukiyaki

Sullivan County: Solomon County (nickname)

Windy City (Chicago nickname)

Whole Nine Yards (summary; Capt. Richard Stratton's 1955 attestation)

Summary, or, "How to waste $40 million, violate the City Charter, disregard our Civic Fame, and prom

Cape May (Summary & Preface & Acknowledgments)

"Why is New York City called the Big Apple?"

Big Taco (summary)

Motor City or Motown (Detroit nicknames)

Mile High City (summary)

Smoky City (summary)

Big Tomato (summary)

Tampa: The Big Guava

Big D (Dallas, Texas nickname)

Big M (summary)

New York of the North (summary)

Baghdad-by-the-Bay (summary)

Autism (summary)

Big Lychee (summary)

Big Durian (summary)

Big Mango (summary)

Big Strawberry (summary)

Big Raisin (summary)

I'm from Missouri -- Show Me (nickname)

Windy Apple (summary)

Big Apricot (summary)

Little Apple (Manhattan, Kansas nickname)

Mini-Apple or Minneapple (Minneapolis nickname)

Big Orange (California and Orange County-NY nickname)

Biggest Little City in the World (summary)

"Summer begins on the 5th of July in Portland"

Summer Camp for Geeks (SXSW Interactive nickname)

(Summer) Fancy Food Show

"Summer has arrived when the rain is warm"

"Summer is here. It's a hundred and fuck you outside" (very hot)

"Summer is over. Time to officially remember what day of the week it is"

"Summer is the season when a man thinks he can cook better on an outdoor grill"

"Summer is two weeks of bad sledding"

"Summer league can't tell you who can play, only who can't" (basketball adage)

"Summer means about three months of no school shootings"

Summer Melt (college admissions)

"Summer miles bring autumn smiles" (running adage)

"Summer nights and ballpark lights"

"Summer nights and bonfire lights"

"Summer on Yams, Winter on Yankees" & "Three seasons -- orange, vegetable and invalid"

Summer Play Festival (SPF)

"Summer should get a speeding ticket"

Summer Stock

"Summer Streets" (car-free streets during summer)

Summer Time (bread and milk)

"Summer vacation is a time when parents realize that teachers are grossly underpaid"

"Summer wrestlers make winter champions" (wrestling adage)

"Summertime is always the best of what might be"

Sun Belt (or Sunbelt)

"Sun Chips are just adult Doritos"

"Sun Chips are just Doritos that do yoga"

"Sun Chips are just mom Doritos"

"Sun Chips are just whole grain Doritos"

"Sun Chips are like healthy Doritos"

"Sun Chips are the poor man's Doritos"

Sun City (El Paso nickname)

"Sun Drop is a poor man's Mello Yello, which is already a poor man's Mountain Dew"

"Sun Drop is a poor man's Mountain Dew"

Sun, Salsa and Soldiers (Fort Bliss/El Paso slogan)

Sun Slope (Sunset Park + South Park Slope)

Sundae Driver (vodka + orange juice + ice cream)

Sundance Eggs

"Sunday, a day to relax, drink coffee, and just be"

"Sunday carbs don't count. Those are the Lord's carbs and He wants us to be happy"

"Sunday carbs don't count. Those are the Lord's carbs and He wants you to be happy"

"Sunday is a day of rest. The rest of the laundry, the rest of the housework..."

"Sunday is a day to thank God for all His blessings of the last week"

"Sunday is a special day because you get to regret the weekend AND dread the week"

"Sunday is a teacher's day of rest: the rest of the laundry and grade the rest of the papers"

"Sunday morning coffee is about pleasure. Monday morning coffee is about necessity"

"Sunday morning coffee is about pleasure, whereas Monday morning coffee is about necessity"

"Sunday night is just pure panic about Monday morning"

"Sunday, the day for the language of leisure"

"Sundays are no place for pants or responsibilities"

"Sundays have no place for pants or responsibilities"

"Sundays should come with a pause button"

Sundown Town

Sunflower Capital of Texas & Crossroads of Texas (Hearne nickname)

"Sunkist is a poor man's Fanta"

"Sunkist is a poor man's Orange Crush"

"Sunny D tastes like someone made a bet that they could make orange juice without oranges"

Sunny San Leon (San Leon nickname)

Sunny Side Up

"SunnyD is a poor man's orange juice"

Sunnysider (inhabitant of Sunnyside, Queens)

"Sun's out, buns out"

"Sun's out, guns out"

Sunset Capital of Texas (Oasis restaurant on Lake Travis, Austin)

Sunset State (Oregon nickname)

"Sunsets are proof that endings can be beautiful, too"

"Sunshine and Lollipops" ("Sunshine, Lollipops and Rainbows")

Sunshine State (Florida nickname)

Sunshine Vitamin (Vitamin D nickname)

SUNY-Harlem (Columbia University)

"Super Bowl implies the existence of a Super Plate"

"Super Bowl implies the existence of a Super Spoon"

Super Bowl of Fashion (New York Fashion Week nickname)

"Super callous fascist risky experimental doses"

Super Congress

Super Drum or Superdrum (Frank C. Erwin, Jr. Special Events Center, UT-Austin)

Super Flagger

Super Saturday or Panic Saturday (Saturday before Christmas)

Super Senior (student who takes longer to graduate)

Super Tower (Supertower)

Superbowlian (Super Bowlian)

Superflack

Superman; Superstar; Supermodel

Supermarket (Super Market)

"Supermarkets for Savings" (C-Town)

Superscraper (super + skyscraper)

Supertall (a skyscraper over 300 meters or 984 feet tall)

Supper Club

"Support our troops. Bring them home"

"Support our troops -- We'll need them to overthrow our government"

"Support the country you live in or live in the country you support"

"Support the troops. Bring them home"

"Support wildlife -- throw a party"

"Support your local anything"

"Support your right to arm bears"

"Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself."

"Supposedly there’s a style of rice shaped pasta, orzo I’m told"

"Supposedly, this cow was farting a lot and ruining the environment. So I ate it. You're welcome"

Supreme Dorks (U.S. Supreme Court nickname)

"Sure every trip to the grocery store costs twice as much as it used to but hey..."

"Sure Happy It's Thursday" ("shit" backronym); "So Happy It's Thursday, Friday Is Tomorrow"

"Sure, I'll drink more water. Provided it's frozen and surrounded by alcohol"

"Sure you can trust the government -- just ask an Indian"

"Surely, not everybody was kung-fu fighting"

Surf and Turf (Surf 'n' Turf)

Surfboard Pizza

"Surfing the Internet"

"Surprise your girlfriend this Valentine's Day. Introduce her to your wife!"

"Surround yourself with coffee, not negativity"

"Surround yourself with nachos, not negativity"

"Surround yourself with people who feed your soul, not eat it"

"Surround yourself with people who have issues. Because people who have issues also have alcohol"

"Surround yourself with people who have issues. Because people who have issues always have alcohol"

"Surround yourself with people who have issues. Because people who have issues always have booze"

"Surround yourself with pizza, not negativity"

"Surround yourself with tacos, not negativity"

"Surround yourself with those who bring out the best in you, not the stress in you"

"Survival tip #1: Never trust the government or the mainstream media"

"Survival tip #1: Never trust the government or the mainstream media"

"Survival tip #1: Never trust the government or the media"

"Survival tip #1: Never trust the government or the media"

"Survival Tip: If lost in the woods, build a shelter. The tax collector will be there shortly"

"Survival Tip: If you ever get lost in the woods, start talking about taxation..."

"Survival Tip: If you get lost in the woods, start talking about politics..."

"Survival Tip: If you get lost in the woods, start talking about the benefits of a vegan diet..."

"Survive and advance" (in a single elimination tournament)

Survivors' Staircase (Survivors' Stairs)

Sushi Burrito; Sushirrito (sushi + burrito)

"Sushi rolls not gender roles"

Sushi Sickness

Susie-Q or Suzie-Q or Suzy-Q (dance)

Suspended Coffee (Caffè Sospeso)

"Swallow the whistle" (not call a penalty)

"Swallow your pride occasionally. It's non-fattening"

Swamp Pie

Swankienda (swanky + hacienda)

"Swapping the witch for the bitch" (trading one addiction for another one)

SWATing (Swatting)

"Sweat is fat crying"

"Sweat is magic. Cover yourself in it daily to grant your wishes"

Sweatember (sweat + September)

Sweatember (sweat + September)

Sweater Weather

"Sweater weather is better weather"

"Sweating harder than my ex tryna tell the truth rn"

"Sweating while shopping counts as exercise"

"Sweating while you shop counts as exercise"

Sweatshop (Sweat Shop, or Sweating Shop)

Swedish Automobile Always Broken (Saab backronymic nickname)

Swedish Broadway (Atlantic Avenue)

"Swedish Fish jellybeans is, in reality, Swedish Roe"

Sweet Alice (milk)

"Sweet, but twisted. Does that make me a candy cane?"

"Sweet dreams are made of cheese. Who am I to dis a brie?"

"Sweet fancy Moses!" (exclamation)

"Sweet Jesus implies there is an existence of spicy Jesus, salty Jesus and sour Jesus"

Sweet Lady Gumbo (New Orleans nickname)

"Sweet nothings imply the existence of bitter everythings, salty somethings and umami anythings"

"Sweet nothings imply the existence of sour nothings, salty nothings, bitter nothings"

"Sweet nothings imply the existence of sour somethings"

Sweet Potato Fries

Sweet Sixteen (sixteen remaining tournament players or teams)

Sweet Water Chemist (soda jerk)

Sweetest Town in Texas (Honey Grove nickname)

Swexit (Switzerland + exit)

Swiftly Enhanced Careers (Securities and Exchange Commission or SEC nickname)

"Swimming can be easy or hard. It deep-ends"

"Swimming in debt doesn't count as cardio"

"Swimming is basically having fun trying not to drown"

"Swimming is good for your health, especially when you're drowning"

"Swimming isn't a sport. Swimming is a way to keep from drowning"

"Swimming: The only sport in which the coach yells at you for breathing"

"Swing hard, in case you hit it"

Swing State

Swing Street (52nd Street)

"Swing. Swear. Look for ball. Repeat" (golf saying)

"Swing with ease into the breeze" (golf adage)

"Swish!" (basketball term)

Swish Set

"Swiss cheese was invented when some cheesemakers were shooting the bries"

Swiss Enchiladas

Swiss Steak

Switch Building (109 Norfolk Street)

SXSW

SXSW (Somebody buy Some Whataburger)

Synagondo (synagogue + condo)

"Synonym rolls...just like grammar used to make"

Syracuse: New York's College Team (Syracuse University slogan)

Syracuse: "Orange in the Apple" (Syracuse University Orange slogan in the Big Apple)

Syracuse: Salt City (nickname); Salt Potato

Syracuse: Sewercuse (nickname)

"System change, not climate change"

Systemically Important Financial Institution (SIFI)

Szechuan Fire (pun on "set you on fire")

Szechwan Fire (pun on "set you on fire")