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"You can best serve civilization by being against what usually passes for it" was written by American novelist, poet and environmental activist Wendell Berry in notes from March 14, 1969.…
"It it ain't raining, we ain't training" is a saying that began in the United States military, showing that troops are ready to go in even the worst conditions. "The Camp…
A jocular sign placed near the urinals in many men's restrooms is: "Our aim is to keep this restroom clean. Your aim will help." "Our aim is to keep this place clean: your aim…
"Real cowboys don't take baths -- they just dust off" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many posters. The line has been printed on many wall decorations for boys'…
When someone tells on old-old-old joke, the recipient of the joke might reply, "The last time I heard that I fell off my dinosaur." The line "fell off my dinosaur" has been used…
A popular dirty joke told by many musicians is: Q: What's the difference between a violist and a dressmaker?A: A dressmaker tucks up frills. The joke has been cited in print since at least…
Singers have popular jokes on how many it takes to screw in a lightbulb: Q: How many altos does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: None, they can't get up that high. The joke has been cited…
A classic joke is told about a singer (or a bad musician): Q: How do you know if there's a lead singer outside your door? A: You don't: She can't find the key and doesn't know…
"You should try anything/everything once -- except incest and folk dancing" is a popular jocular saying of unknown authorship. "His hobby is to try anything once— except fretwork…
"What's the difference between an orchestra and a bull?" is an old joke told by many musicians. The answer is that the bull has horns in front and an asshole in the back. The joke…
"What's a tuba for?" is a classic tuba joke. "What's a tuba for? To blow into, or to make a house outa?" was cited in print in 1940. Wikipedia: 2X42x4, two-by-four, or…
"Cowards never start; the weak never finish; winners never quit" is a popular motivational slogan that has been printed on many posters. “The cowards never started and the weak died on…
A tuba has a limited musical range, so a popular tuba joke goes: Q. What's the range of a tuba? A. Twenty yards, if you've got a good arm. The joke has been cited in print since at least…
Musicians often joke that some other instruments are always out of tune. A popular joke is: Q: What's the difference between an alto trombone and a chainsaw?A: You can tune the chainsaw. The…
Entry in progress -- B.P. Google BooksProgramming, Pitfalls and Puppy-Dog TalesBy Gyeorgos C. HatonnNevada: Phoenix Source Distributors, Inc.1993Pg. 96:KARL MARX said, "...the meaning of peace…
A "honey do list" is a series of commands when a wife says to a husband, "Honey, do this" and "Honey, do that." The "honey-do" joke stems from the popularity…
A classic joke is said about orchestra intermissions: Q: Why are orchestra intermissions only twenty minutes long? A: So the violists don't need to be retrained. The joke has been cited in…
Can guitar players read music? A popular joke is: Q. How do you get a guitar player to play softer?A. Give him a sheet of music. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1992. Google Groups:…
Drummers often play to their own beat. A popular joke involves a bar customer who is listening to a jazz band: BAR CUSTOMER (to bartender): Hey buddy, how late does the band play?BARTENDER: Oh,…
"Spring Forward, Fall Back" is how people set clocks, but there is a joke: "If it weren't for Spring Forward and Fall Back, I'd never get any exercise at all."…