“What do you call a matador who gets trampled? A dor mat”
A pun on the term "matador" (from the sport of bullfighting) was posted on the website PunGents.com on October 29, 2017: "What do you call a matador who gets trampled? A dor…
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“What is a classical musician’s favorite Chinese food?”/“Bach Choy.”
The Chinese vegetable "bok choy" has nothing to do with German composer Johann Sebastian Bach (1685-1750), but there have been several puns. "If you're making a Faure to the…
“‘Righty tighty, lefty loosey’ isn’t a statement about females and politics”
"Righty tighty, lefty loosey" is a popular meme about how to screw or unscrew objects. Some have used "righty tighty" to describe politically conservative people and "lefty…
“A truck full of Vicks VapoRub overturned. Police are saying there will be no congestion for 24hrs.”
A joke about traffic congestion has been cited in print since at least 2008 and has been popular in the United Kingdom and the United States: "A lorry (truck -- ed.) loaded with Vicks VapoRub…
“You know you’re at a gay barbecue when the wieners taste like shit”
A hot dog riddle (NSFW) is: Q: How do you known you're at a gay barbecue?A: The hot dogs taste like shit. The joke is about "hot dogs" (or "wieners") resembling male…
“Righty tighty, lefty loosey” (screw/unscrew)
"Righty tighty, lefty loosey" is a popular meme for how to screw and unscrew (nuts, screws, jars, et al.). "Right tight, left loose" was printed in The Western Mail (Perth,…
“Candy corn is just corn turned into corn syrup then back into corn”
Candy corn is made primarily from sugar and corn syrup. "Candy corn is the only truth in the world. High fructose corn syrup formed BACK into corn" was posted on Twitter on October 8,…
“What is a classical musician’s favorite Chinese food?”/“Bach Choy.”
The Chinese vegetable "bok choy" has nothing to do with German composer Johann Sebastian Bach (1685-1750), but there have been several puns. "If you're making a Faure to the…
“What do you call a cow during an earthquake?”/“A milk shake.”
A cow riddle is: Q: What do you call a cow during an earthquake?A: A milk shake. Forms of the riddle have been cited in print since at least 1967 and 1983. “What do you call a cow in a…
“What do you call a cow on a trampoline?”/“A milk shake.”
A cow riddle is: Q: What do you call a cow on a trampoline?A: A milk shake. Versions of the riddle have been cited in print since at least 1996. “What do you call a cow during an…
“Liver alone, cheese mine!”
"Liver alone, cheese mine!" is a jocular way of saying "Leave her alone, she's mine!" The joke -- with a Mexican speaker using the line -- was posted on the newsgroup…
“I was walking through college and my camouflage teacher said I haven’t seen you in class”
Some students skip class, but then run into the professor on the college campus. American stand-up comedian Emo Phillips made a joke: "I was in ROTC in college. I was walking across campus and…
“What did the digital clock say to the grandfather clock?”/“Look grandpa! No hands!”
An analog clock has "hands," but a digital clock doesn't. A riddle has been cited in print since at least 1974: Q: What did the digital clock say to its mother?A: Look, ma! No hands!…
“Why did the chicken cross the Möbius strip?”/“To get to the same side.”
"Why did the chicken cross the road?" is an old joke from the 19th century. A Möbius strip version is: Q: Why did the chicken cross the Möbius strip?A: To get to the same side. The joke…
“A blind man walks into a shop with his seeing-eye dog…” (joke)
Many people walk through stores "just looking around." A joke was printed in the New York (NY) Times on August 30, 1983, of a blind person who grabs his seeing eye dog by the tail and…
“A surgeon, an architect, and a politician” (joke)
What is the oldest profession? "A surgeon, an architect, and a politician" is the start of a popular joke. The surgeon argues that Eve was created from Adam's rib, so surgery is the…
“Why did the chicken cross the road?”/“Because Colonel Sanders was after him.”
"Why did the chicken cross the road?" is an old joke from the 19th century. The punchline is usually "to get to the other side," but another version is: Q: Why did the chicken…
“Why didn’t the teddy bear eat dessert?”/“Because he was stuffed.”
A teddy bear riddle was posted on the newsgroup alt.tasteless.jokes on October 11, 1997: Q: Why didn't the teddy bear eat anything?A: He was already stuffed. A dessert version was printed in…
“Cookie dough is the sushi of desserts”
"Cookie dough is the sushi of desserts" was posted on Reddit -- Shower Thoughts on August 2, 2014. Both cookie dough and sushi are raw food dishes. The saying has been printed on several…
“What time do ducks wake up?”/“At the quack of dawn.”
A duck riddle is: Q: What time do ducks wake up?A: At the quack of dawn. The pun has been cited in print since at least 1983, and has been printed on several images. Google Books January 1983,…