“I met someone else who urinates on fruit. We’re going to go on a date”
"Go on a date" doesn't mean to "go" (urinate) on a "date" (fruit), but there have been several puns. "Let's go on a date! I love urinating on fruit,…
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“What do you get if you cross a trout with an apartment?”/“A flat fish.”
An "apartment" is called a "flat" in the United Kingdom. A riddle is: Q: What do you get if you cross a trout with an apartment?A: A flat fish. The joke has been cited in print…
“Why did the farmer feed money to his cow?”/“Because he wanted rich milk.”
A riddle abut "rich milk" was print in a newspaper in 1972: Q: Why did the farmer feed money to his cow? A: He wanted rich milk. The riddle was worded differently in 1997: Q: Why did the…
“A grave twenty-three inches long” (a newspaper column)
American humorist and journalist Don Marquis (1878-1937) was one of New York City's first and most famous of newspaper columnists. He wrote the column "Sun Dial" for The Evening Sun…
“Why did the girl feed money to her cow?”/“Because she wanted to get rich milk.”
A riddle abut "rich milk" was print in a newspaper in 1972: Q: Why did the farmer feed money to his cow? A: He wanted rich milk. The riddle was worded differently in 1997: Q: Why did the…
“I swallowed an abacus because it’s what’s inside that counts”
A pun about an abacus (a calculating tool) was posted on Twitter on February 22, 2010: "People think I'm weird because I swallowed an abacus. It's what's inside that…
“We don’t know them all, but we owe them all”
"We don't know them all, but we owe them all" is a popular Memorial Day/Veterans Day saying that has been printed on many images. "We don't know them all, but we owe them…
“Writing a daily column is like being married to a nymphomaniac”
"Writing a daily column is like being married to a nymphomaniac," newspaper columnists often claim. "Every time you think you're through, you have to do it again." The…
Poligarchy (political + oligarchy); Poligarch
Entry in progress -- B.P. Wikipedia: OligarchyOligarchy (from Greek ὀλιγαρχία (oligarkhía); from ὀλίγος (olígos), meaning 'few', and ἄρχω (arkho), meaning 'to…
“Heroes are made by the paths they choose, not the powers they are graced with”
"Heroes are made by the paths they choose, not the powers they are graced with" is a popular saying on Memorial Day and Veterans Day. It was printed in the novel Everneath (2012) by Brodi…
“A spice thief had his own spices stolen. I guess you could say he had it cumin”
"Cumin" is sometimes punned as "coming." Several punsters have sang "He had it cumin!" instead of "He had it coming!" from the song "Cell Block…
“Open Mike Night sounded fun, but then we got to the morgue”
"Open mic" (or "open mike") means that an entertainment venue (such as a nightclub or a comedy club) has an "open microphone" where people can sign up to perform. It…
Department of Exaggeration (Department of Education nickname)
American journalist Wayne Barrett (1945-2017), a columnist for The Village Voice, gave the New York City Department of Education a nickname of "Department of Exaggeration" in three 2009…
“The only thing flat-earthers fear is sphere itself”
"Flat Earth Society motto: 'We have nothing to sphere but sphere itself.'" was posted on Twitter on April 19, 2011. "The only thing we have to fear is fear itself" is…
Martha or Martha Washington Bridge (lower level of George Washington Bridge)
The George Washington Bridge connects New York City to New Jersey and was opened in 1931. A second (lower) level of the bridge was opened in 1962. The upper level is sometimes called the…
May Take Awhile (Metropolitan Transportation Authority or MTA nickname)
The Metropolitan Transportation Authority (MTA) is a New York State agency that (among other duties) operates New York City's subways and buses. The MTA has been nicknamed "May Take…
“Buying an airline ticket is like paying shipping and handling for yourself”
"Buying an airline ticket is like paying shipping and handling for yourself" is an observation that was posted on Reddit -- Shower Thoughts on December 28, 2014. "The airplane does…
“A university is a city in outer space”
The word "university" sounds like "universe city." A pun was posted on the website Pun of the Day by Joseph Leff of Brooklyn, New York, on November 9, 2017: "A university…
“Why is too much alcohol bad for you?”/“Because that would be too whiskey.”
"Whiskey" sounds like "risky." "So a friend told me, we should have drinks on the train tracks....I told them that would be too whiskey!" was posted on Twitter on…
“Grilled cheese with tomato soup is basically deconstructed pizza”
"Deconstructed pizza- creamy tomato soup with mozzarella and basil grilled cheese sandwiches" was posted on Twitter on September 30, 2012. The "grilled cheese with tomato soup"…