“How does a physicist exercise?”/“By pumping ion.”
A physics riddle is: Q: How does a physicist exercise?A: By pumping ion. The pun is on the title of the 1977 bodybuilding film Pumping Iron. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1996.…
Search
Searched for . Search results: 41196
“The internet is too pc. Disabled cookies? In my day, they were called broken biscuits”
An "HTTP cookie" is not something that's eaten, but there have been several jokes. "The internet has become too politically correct. What's all this nonsense about disabled…
“Money launderers are filthy rich!”
"Money launderers are filthy rich!" is a joke that was posted on the website Pun of the Day on November 3, 2017. It was also posted on Reddit -- Oneliners later that day. Pun of the…
“If light travels faster than the speed of sound, how come a car behind me honks before the green?”
Some people seem to honk a car in front of them at a red light before the light turns green. "Brooklyn is the only city where sound travels faster than light.The fella behind me honks 9…
“If you eat falafel with hummus, you are dipping fried chick peas into blended chick peas”
Both falafel and hummus usually contain chickpeas. "Falafel with hummus. Eating fried chickpeas with chickpea paste. #neverthoughtofthat" was posted on Twitter on September 24, 2013.…
“Is that a custard or a meringue?”/“You’re not wrong. It’s a custard.”
A joke about the Scottish accent is: SCOTSMAN (at a bakery): Is that a custard or a meringue?ENGLISHMAN: You’re not wrong. It’s a custard. "Or a meringue?" sounds like "Or am I…
“My last boss was a dwarf. He was a real micromanager”
A "micromanager" is someone who pays attention to the smallest ("micro") details. The term doesn't mean a "small manager," but there have been several jokes.…
“I tried to design a piece of paper and my teacher was impressed. He gave me an A4 effort”
"A4" is a popular paper size. "A joke about paper? You might have gotten an A4 effort!" is a pun that was posted on Twitter on October 23, 2012. "I tried to design a piece…
“What’s the scariest dessert?”/“Terrormisu.”
The Italian dessert "tiramisu" sometimes becomes "terrormisu" (terror + tiramisu) for Halloween. "Terror-Misu" was printed in the Los Angeles (CA) Times on May 30,…
“The only thing worse than a buffering video is a buffering ad”
Computer users hate when the computer freezes up as it is "buffering." "The only thing worse than a buffering video is a buffering ad before the video!" was posted on Twitter on…
“Do you run?”/“Yes. Out of patience, fucks and money.”
"Do you run? Yes. Out of patience, fucks and money" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images -- especially running shirts. "Do I run?Yes. Out of patience,fucks and…
“Rice is basically dinner cereal”
Rice (for dinner) is sometimes compared to cereal (for breakfast). "'Is rice dinner cereal?' -- my dad, 03/13/2016" was posted on Twitter on March 13, 2016. "Rice is just…
“What do you call a group of musicians who stole all of their instruments?”/“Bandits.”
A music riddle is: Q: What do you call a group of musicians who stole all of their instruments?A: Bandits. The word "bandits" is meant to be a pun on the word "band." "What…
“Do I run? Yes. Out of patience, fucks and money”
"Do you run? Yes. Out of patience, fucks and money" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images -- especially running shirts. "Do I run?Yes. Out of patience,fucks and…
“The drunkest knight of the round table was Sir Rhosis”
The disease of "cirrhosis" sounds like "Sir Rhosis" (a jocular name that has been cited in print since at least 1968). "Sir Rhosis of Liverwhoorst" was posted on the…
“Egg rolls are basically deep fried cole slaw”
Egg rolls are sometimes said to be the crusty version of cole slaw. "Veggie spring roll is like Asian version of deep fried cole slaw" was posted on Twitter on December 3, 2009. "I…
“Why did the WASP cross the road?”/“To get to the middle.”
"Why did the chicken cross the road?"/"To get to the other side" is a classic riddle from the 19th century. A WASP (White Anglo-Saxon Protestant) version is: Q: Why did the WASP…
“What do you call a bouncer at a gay bar?”/“A flamethrower.”
A gay bar riddle is: Q: What do you call a bouncer at a gay bar?A: A flamethrower. The joke -- based on the old gay slang of "flaming faggot" -- was posted on the newsgroup rec.humor on…
“What if the lottery is an institution to catch time travelers?”
If someone could time travel, then wouldn't it make sense to play the lottery and win a lot of money? "What if the lottery is an Institution to catch Time Travelers?" was posted on…
“Why did the tachyon cross the road?”/“Because it was on the other side.”
"Why did the chicken cross the road?"/"To get to the other side" is a classic riddle from the 19th century. A tachyon (a particle faster than light) version is: Q: Why did the…