“The first time I saw a kiwi I thought it’s a potato with fur”
"The first time I saw a kiwi I thought it's a potato with fur" is a saying that has been printed on an image. "It should be 'potato with fur' not kiwi" was posted…
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“Staying in bed all day is my way of saving money”
"Staying in bed all day is my way of saving money" is a saying that has been printed on several images. Staying in bed all day is usually no way to make money, either. "So glad…
“Facebook is a lot like ancient Egypt. People write on walls and worship cats”
"The internet is a lot like ancient Egypt. People write on walls and worship cats" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "The internet is like ancient Egypt:…
“Dinosaurs never had coffee, and we see how that turned out”
"Dinosaurs had no coffee. How did that work out?" (or "Dinosaurs never had coffee, and we see how that turned out") is a coffee saying that has been printed on many images.…
“I wish I could drop my body off at the gym and pick it back up when it’s ready”
"I wish I could drop my body off at the gym and pick it back up when it's ready" is a gym saying that has been printed on many images. "I want to drop my body off at the gym…
“A good mother loves her children. A great mother still loves them when they’re teenagers”
"A good mother loves her children. A great mother still loves them when they're teenagers" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "A good mother loves her kids ... a…
“A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer”
"A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer" is a jocular saying that has been Twitter printed on many images. That is, everything that had been on top of the desk is hidden in the…
“I set my alarm clock ahead to prevent being late…” (joke)
Many people who are constantly late set their clocks ahead to give them a few extra minutes. "I set my alarm clock ahead to prevent being late... But all it really did is sharpen my…
“There are only two absolutes in life: friends and vodka. And the best times usually involve both”
"There are only two absolutes in life: friends and vodka. And the best times usually involve both" is a vodka saying that has been printed on several images. ”As one of my friends says,…
“If your phone battery lasts all day, it’s because nobody likes you”
"If your phone battery lasts all day, it's because nobody likes you" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. That is, no one is calling you. "If your phone…
“Some guy just honked at me to leave my parking space faster, so now I’ll just have to sit here”
"Some guy just honked at me to leave my parking space faster, so now I’ll just have to sit here until both of us are dead" is a jocular saying about parking. The speaker is being…
“How do you get rid of a boomerang?”/“Throw it down a one-way street.”
A boomerang riddle is: Q: How do you get rid of a boomerang?A: Throw it down a one-way street. The joke was printed in The Sun-Herald (Sydney, New South Wales) on July 8, 1973. Newspapers.com8 July…
“I made some fish tacos last night. But they just ignored them and swam away”
Is a fish taco made “of” fish or made “for” fish? A fish taco joke was posted on Reddit -- Dadjokes on July 25, 2019: "I made some fish tacos last night. But they just ignored them and…
Hot Dog of the Sea (surimi nickname)
Imitation crab meat (such as surimi) has been called the "hot dog of the sea" -- it may taste good, but what's really in it? "Her product was imitation crab meat -- a veritable…
“Cremation: my last chance to have a smokin’ hot body”
"Being cremated is my last hope for a smoking hot body" (or "Cremation: my last chance to have a smokin' hot body" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images…
“Nobody ever has a bottom locker in high school movies”
"Why is it that movies/shows that are set in high school with lockers, none of the characters have the bottom locker? #himymglassshatter" is an observation that was posted on Twitter by…
“Being cremated is my last hope for a smoking hot body”
"Being cremated is my last hope for a smoking hot body" (or "Cremation: my last chance to have a smokin' hot body" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images…
“The person who invented AutoCorrect walks into a barn. He orders a bear” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." An AutoCorrect version was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on October 6, 2019: "The person…
Saratoga: Saratoga Trunk
(Oxford English Dictionary)Saratoga, n.In full Saratoga trunk: a large kind of trunk much used by ladies.1858 N.Y. Tribune 26 July 3/1 The Saratoga Trunk is an article that has been a theme of…
“I’m just waiting to see if my coffee chooses to use its powers for good or evil today”
"I'm just waiting to see if my coffee chooses to use its power(s) for good or evil today" (or "I'm just waiting to see if my coffee uses its powers for good or evil…