“Monday is just Taco Tuesday Eve”
Monday is the tradition start of the work week and is a day dreaded by many people. Tuesday is known as "Taco Tuesday," when people can at least enjoy eating tacos. "Monday? You mean…
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“I’ve just opened a can of worms. They just sit there, the worms. Hardly the chaos”
To "open a can of worms" is to release chaos, like opening Pandora's box. If one opens a can of worms (for fishing), it is very difficult to close the can. "Commissioner Ed…
“With a name like Texas Instruments you’d think they would’ve made guitars, banjos, fiddles…”
Texas Instruments is an American technology company headquartered in Dallas, Texas. It doesn't make musical instruments, but there are jokes. "With a name like Texas Instruments…
“Open a can of worms” (idiom)
To "open a can of worms" is to release chaos, like opening Pandora's box. If one opens a can of worms (for fishing), it is very difficult to close the can. "Commissioner Ed…
“I envy people who grow old gracefully. They age like fine wine. I’m aging like milk…”
"Some people age like fine wine. Me? I aged like milk. I got sour and chunky" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "Women age like a fine wine, men age like…
“Spring cleaning is usually the time of year when I’m reminded that I’m a hoarder”
"Spring cleaning is my favorite way to find out I'm a hoarder" was posted on Twitter by The Label Villain on May 9, 2019. The saying originated on this ecard. "Spring cleaning…
“Why did Jesus cross the road?”/“To get a cross (across).”
"Why did the chicken cross the road?"/"To get to the other side" is a classic riddle from the 19th century. There are several versions involving Jesus. “Why did Jesus cross…
“The only technique I’ve mastered from watching cooking shows is screaming”
"The only technique I’ve mastered from watching cooking shows is screaming and swearing at everyone in the kitchen" is a jocular saying that has been printed on several images. The…
“Why did Jesus cross the road?”/“God knows.”
"Why did the chicken cross the road?"/"To get to the other side" is a classic riddle from the 19th century. There are several versions involving Jesus. “Why did Jesus cross…
“Heaven has a wall, a gate, and a strict immigration policy. Hell has open borders”
"Heaven has a wall and strict immigration policies. Hell has open borders" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The saying is often credited to U.S. President Donald Trump,…
“Spring cleaning is my favorite way to find out I’m a hoarder”
"Spring cleaning is my favorite way to find out I'm a hoarder" was posted on Twitter by The Label Villain on May 9, 2019. The saying originated on this ecard. "Spring cleaning…
“Why did Jesus cross the road?”/“He saw a crosswalk.”
"Why did the chicken cross the road?"/"To get to the other side" is a classic riddle from the 19th century. There are several versions involving Jesus. “Why did Jesus cross…
“Heaven has a wall and strict immigration policies. Hell has open borders”
"Heaven has a wall and strict immigration policies. Hell has open borders" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The saying is often credited to U.S. President Donald Trump,…
“Why did Jesus cross the road?”/“He didn’t. Jesus rode the cross.”
"Why did the chicken cross the road?"/"To get to the other side" is a classic riddle from the 19th century. There are several versions involving Jesus. “Why did Jesus cross…
“Even Heaven has a wall, a gate, and extreme vetting to get in”
"Heaven has a wall and strict immigration policies. Hell has open borders" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The saying is often credited to U.S. President Donald Trump,…
“What can you fold, but not crease?”/“A poker hand.”
A poker riddle is: Q: What can you fold, but not crease?A: A poker hand. The riddle was posted on Twitter by david_ tiltman on May 22, 2013. The riddle was posted on Twitter by Greatest Hits Radio…
“What’s really selfish is expecting other individuals to surrender their liberties…”
"What’s really selfish is expecting other individuals to surrender their liberties so that you can enjoy a false sense of security. AND THATS A FACT" was posted on Twitter by Mr…
“What is the difference between noon and high noon?”/“One is at 4:20.”
The term "high noon" means "precisely noon," but also means "the time of a decisive confrontation or contest." There are several joke answers about "noon"…
“You want men to stop staring at your boobs? Eat a banana”
"You want men to stop staring at your boobs? Eat a banana" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. Eating a banana often represents the sex act of fellatio. "how to…
“What happens when a normal cell goes to war?”/“It becomes diploid.”
"Diploid" sounds a bit like "deployed." "What happens when a normal cell goes to war? It becomes DIPLOID" was posted on Twitter by rebecca on February 10, 2016.…