“How do you get in contact with a Greek architect?”/“You column.”
Greek architecture is known for its Doric, Ionic, and Corinthian columns. "Column" sounds like "call him" or "call 'em." A riddle was posted on Reddit -- Dadjokes…
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“I had to fly across the country for my vaccine, and, wow, are my arms sore”
“I just flew in and boy, are my arms tired!” is a very old joke (1940s). The arms are tired from flapping so much (like a bird's wings). A variation of the joke was posted on Reddit--…
“What do librarians take with them when they go fishing?”/“Bookworms.”
A fishing riddle was printed in many newspapers in 1991 and 1992: Q: What do librarians use for bait when they go fishing?A: Bookworms. A slightly different version was printed in the book School…
“An archaeologist is just a grave robber with a degree”
Archaeologists (and some anthropologists) examine graves. "Archaeologists are just grave robbers with a degree" is a saying that some people say of the profession. "I have always…
“It only takes one slow-walking person in the grocery store…”
"It only takes one slow-walking person in the grocery store to destroy the illusion that I'm a nice person" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. Grocery store…
“Why isn’t Dracula allowed out during COVID?”/“He’s always coffin.”
A joke about Dracula (a literary character associated with vampires) and coffin (coughing) became popular in 2020 with the COVID-19 (coronavirus) pandemic. "How do you know when Dracula…
“What do you call physicians who work at Google?”/“Google Docs.”
Google Docs ("docs" is short for "documents") has nothing to do with "doctors," but there are jokes. "What do you call physicians who work at Google? Google…
“Judge, I want to contest 50% of my parking tickets” (joke)
A traffic court joke was posted on Twitter by Terry F on May 3, 2016: [traffic court]Your honor, I'm here to dispute 4 of my 5 ticketsJUDGE: Repeat infractions?Ok, I'm here to dispute…
“What borders on stupidity?”/“Canada and Mexico.”
"Hahahah QOTD: 'What borders on stupidity? Mexico and Canada.' #USElection" was posted on Twitter by Niklas (and many others) on November 9, 2016. Many people felt that the U.S.…
“What has 4 letters, sometimes has 9 letters, and never has 5 letters”
"What has 4 letters, sometimes has 9 letters, and never has 5 letters" is a riddle -- until it's figured out that it is a statement. The word "what" has four letters, the…
“Judge, I want to contest 80% of my parking tickets” (joke)
A traffic court joke was posted on Twitter by Terry F on May 3, 2016: [traffic court]Your honor, I'm here to dispute 4 of my 5 ticketsJUDGE: Repeat infractions?Ok, I'm here to dispute…
“How do you know when Dracula catches Coronavirus?”/“When he’s always coffin.”
A joke about Dracula (a literary character associated with vampires) and coffin (coughing) became popular in 2020 with the COVID-19 (coronavirus) pandemic. "How do you know when Dracula…
“Why did Dracula get tested for Covid-19?”/“Because of his coffin.”
A joke about Dracula (a literary character associated with vampires) and coffin (coughing) became popular in 2020 with the COVID-19 (coronavirus) pandemic. "How do you know when Dracula…
“What do you call medical students who graduated online?”/“Google Docs.”
Google Docs ("docs" is short for "documents") has nothing to do with "doctors," but there are jokes. "What do you call physicians who work at Google? Google…
“Judge, 60% of my parking tickets are bogus” (joke)
A traffic court joke was posted on Twitter by Terry F on May 3, 2016: [traffic court]Your honor, I'm here to dispute 4 of my 5 ticketsJUDGE: Repeat infractions?Ok, I'm here to dispute…
“Took a tip to buy shares in fermented apple juice. Got accused of in cider trading”
"In cider trading" is a pun on "insider trading." "I was thrown out of the London Stock Exchange for standing in a bucket of Scrumpy, apparently there's rules against…
“I don’t know if my pants are feeling loose because I’m losing weight, or the elastic…”
"I don't know if my pants are feeling loose because I'm losing weight, or the elastic is finally giving up the fight" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images.…
“Censorship is the child of fear, the father of ignorance, desperate weapon of fascists everywhere”
"Censorship is the child of fear and the father of ignorance" is a saying that has been printed on many images. American author Laurie Halse Anderson wrote in Speak (1999):…
“What did the sleepy dragon order at the fancy steakhouse?”/“Flaming yawn.”
"Filet mignon" can sound like "flamin' yawn," and there are jokes. "What's a tired dragons favorite steak? Sarah: Flamin'yawn! (filet mignon)" was…
“If you cannot question it, it’s not science. It’s propaganda”
Some people try to end an argument by simply stating, "It's science!" However, the science can be questioned. "If you cannot question it, it’s not science. It’s…