“My paycheck says I have a good job. My bills say I need to do better”
"My paycheck says I have a good job. My bills say I need to do better" is a saying that means the speaker's paycheck is not covering the bills. The saying has been popular since…
“My people skills are just fine. It’s my tolerance to idiots that needs work”
"My people skills are just fine. It's my tolerance to idiots that needs work" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. The saying was posted on Twitter on November…
“My perfume store got robbed! They took every scent I had”
"Scent" shouldn't be confused with "cent," but there are jokes. "My candle store got robbed. They took every scent I had" was posted on Reddit -- Dadjokes on…
“My personality is who I am, my attitude depends on who you are”
"Don’t confuse my personality with my attitude. My personality is who I am, my attitude depends on who you are" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "Don't…
“My problem is I wanna follow Jesus and slap people too”
"My problem is I want to follow Jesus and slap people too" (or "My problem is I wanna follow Jesus and slap people too") is a jocular saying that has been printed on many…
“My problem is I want to follow Jesus and slap people too”
"My problem is I want to follow Jesus and slap people too" (or "My problem is I wanna follow Jesus and slap people too") is a jocular saying that has been printed on many…
“My résumé is basically a list of things I hate to do”
"My résumé is just a list of things I (really) never want to do again" (or "My résumé is basically a list of things I hate to do") is a saying that has been printed on many…
“My résumé is just a list of jobs I never want to do again”
"My résumé is just a list of things I (really) never want to do again" (or "My résumé is basically a list of things I hate to do") is a saying that has been printed on many…
“My résumé is just a list of things I never want to do again”
"My résumé is just a list of things I (really) never want to do again" (or "My résumé is basically a list of things I hate to do") is a saying that has been printed on many…
“My résumé is just a list of things I really never want to do again”
"My résumé is just a list of things I (really) never want to do again" (or "My résumé is basically a list of things I hate to do") is a saying that has been printed on many…
“My save for later cart on Amazon is up to about $1.2 million dollars”
Many people who shop online (such as at Amazon) can't afford an item, and put it in the "save for later" cart. "My save for later cart on Amazon is up to about $1.2 million…
“My signature move is writing ‘please see attached’ and then confidently hitting send with absolutely nothing attached”
Many people write "please see attached" in an email -- and then forget to attach anything. This was posted on X/Twitter and Bluesky by sixfootcandy on August 20, 2025: "My signature…
“My superiority complex is better than yours”
"My superiority complex is better than yours!" is a jocular saying that was posted on the newsgroup comp.sys.apple2.comm on March 20, 1994. The speaker feels superior to others in every…
“My superpower? Functioning on coffee and questionable amounts of sleep”
"My superpower? Functioning on coffee and questionable amounts of sleep. ☕💤" (also shown on an image) was posted on Facebook by Coffee, Please on March 19, 2025. The coffee saying,…
“My toxic trait is once that sun starts shining I wanna quit my job”
"My toxic trait is once that/the sun starts shining I wanna quit my job" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "My toxic trait is once that sun starts shining I wanna…
“My toxic trait is once the sun starts shining I wanna quit my job”
"My toxic trait is once that/the sun starts shining I wanna quit my job" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "My toxic trait is once that sun starts shining I wanna…
“My wife complains I don’t buy her flowers. To be honest, I didn’t know she sold flowers”
"My wife is always complaining that I never buy her flowers. In my defense, I didn't even know she sold flowers" was posted on Twitter by Andrew Mexo O'Connor (and others) on…
“My wife dressed up as a nurse to fulfill my fantasy that we have health insurance”
Many men have fantasies about sexy nurses, but a joke puts a twist on this. "My wife asked me what my biggest fantasy was. I told her for her to dress like a sexy nurse and tell me I have…
“My wife gets turned on by shopping. It seems she’s buy-sexual”
"Buy-sexual" (or "buysexual") is a shopping pun on the word "bisexual." "The most accurate way to describe her sexuality is to state that it is inextricably…
“My wife just called me, ‘Three of the girls in the office have just received some flowers’” (joke)
A Valentine's Day joke was posted on Twitter by Marc Gatland on February 14, 2012" Wife: "3 girls at work have received flowers today, they're absolutely gorgeous."Me:…