The expression "I'm sold" is usually not taken literally, but there are puns. This was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on December 13, 2017: "I wasn’t sure about getting involved in…
A person can be physically flexible, and the person's schedule can also be flexible. There are several jokes. "So I said to the Gym instructor 'Can you teach me to do the…
"I applied for a job at a sunscreen factory. Unfortunately, I didn't get it. No worries. I'm going to re-apply" is a joke that was posted on X/Twitter by Kim Harman on September…
"Nail-biting" means something that causes anxiety or suspense. This doesn't usually involve actual nail biting, but there are manicure joke. "Just been at the manicure would…
"Close, but no cigar" is a popular expression that has been the subject of several puns. "I asked my grandmother for "something Cuban" for my birthday, and she got me a Che…
"I went to legoland last week and it was packed. People were lined up for blocks" was posted on Twitter by "my puns have a Claus and effect" on November 8, 2018. Legos are…
"Went to the corner shop -- bought four corners" is on several lists of the funniest jokes of all time. The joke has been credited to British prop comedian Tommy Cooper (1921-1984), but…
The IKEA furniture store can be confusing to many people, who have compared it to leaving an escape room. "Me all the time: this IKEA is the worst escape room ever." was posted on Twitter…
"Sending W-2s out to everyone who's been in my business all year" (or "I will be mailing out W-2s on January 2nd for everyone who was in my business this year") is a…
"I will eat a bowl of water with a fork before I care what anyone thinks of me" (or "I will eat a bowl of water with a fork before I give a fuck about your opinion of me") is a…
"I will start working when my coffee does" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many gift items, such as coffee mugs, posters and T-shirts. "I start working when the coffee…
"I wish 8 hours of sleep went as slow as 8 hours of work (or school)" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The hours of sleep seem to go by quickly, but the hours of work or…
“This ain’t my first rodeo” (or "This is not my first rodeo") is a popular saying. It is an expression that means “I wasn’t born yesterday” (I’m not naive in these matters),…
“This ain’t my first rodeo” (or "This is not my first rodeo") is a popular saying. It is an expression that means “I wasn’t born yesterday” (I’m not naive in these matters),…
"I wish travel therapy was covered by my health insurance" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "I think travel therapy and vacation ought to be covered by health…
"I woke up from a deep sleep in a panic thinking I was late for work. Thankfully I was at work" is a joke that has been printed on many images. The joke is that the speaker wasn't…
Entry in progress -- B.P. 15 October 2017, Journal-Gazette (Fort Wayne, IN), "Lead On: Authors shed light as bosses have their day," pg. H2:Here's a few sayings that surfaced on…
"I won't use someone's pronouns for the same reason I won't talk to a schizophrenic's imaginary friends" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The speaker…
A zebra has stripes; some people have compared this to a barcode. "I wonder how much a zebra would cost if you scanned it" is a jocular saying that has been printed on several images.…
A business often states that a phone conversation with a customer may be recorded and used for training or quality purposes. "Sometimes I wonder if my recorded call has ever been used for…