"I drove into work today but I couldn't find a parking spot, so I turned around and went home" was posted on Twitter by kingsolomon2010 on November 18, 2010. "Couldn't find…
"I couldn't get my fridge to work this morning, so I took the bus instead" is a joke that was posted on X/Twitter by Puns AndOneliners on August 2, 2019. The joke is that the fridge…
American comedican Henny Youngman (1906-1998) frequently told of a doctor who gave a man only six months to live. The man couldn't pay his medical bills, so the doctor gave him another six…
An employment joke was printed in the Wilmington (DE) Morning News on December 26, 1933: "If the boss doesn't take back what he said to me, I shall leave.""What did he…
"Good morning, Warren, and congratulations on once again not dying in your sleep…" is a jocular version of "good morning" that was posted on Twitter by Munsi on January 3,…
One disadvantage of speeding -- besides potentially getting a speeding ticket -- is that the driver might arrive at a destination too early. "I definitely learned my lesson about speeding…
"I didn't come this far to only come this far" is a motivational saying that has been printed on many images. "From a FB friend: 'I didn't come this far, to only come…
"I never dreamed about success. I worked for it" is a motivational saying that has been printed on many images. American businessperson Estée Lauder (1908-2004) -- born Josephine Esther…
“This ain’t my first rodeo” (or "This is not my first rodeo") is a popular saying. It is an expression that means "I wasn't born yesterday" (I'm not naive in…
"I didn't say it was your fault -- I said I was going to blame you" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many gift items, such as posters and T-shirts. The saying is what a…
Many jobs have entrance exams. This joke was posted by many people on X/Twitter and Facebook on January 30, 2022: "I didn’t get the job hypnotising chickens. I failed the hen trance…
"Smelling" and "smelting" shouldn't be confused, but there are jokes. This pun was posted on Reddit -- Dadjokes on January 26, 2024: "I didn’t like working at the…
A 301(k) retirement savings contribution plan shouldn't be confused with a 10K (kilometers) run, but there's a joke: "I didn't sign up for the 401k at work, because there's…
"I do many things well. None of which generate income" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. The saying (“I do many things well, none of which generates an…
"I do not hate morning people. Morning has nothing to do with it" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "I don't hate morning people. Mornings have nothing to do…
To "get one's ducks in a row" means to take care of one’s duties and responsibilities. Many people do not have their "ducks in a row." "I don't have ducks. I…
"I do not want to have a career. I want to sit on the porch" is a saying that has been printed on many images. Many people would rather relax at home than go to work. The saying was…
Some businesses don't advertise, but succeed by word of mouth. A joke was posted on Reddit -- Dad Jokes on October 26, 2018: "I don't advertise my lip reading business. It's all…
"I don't always tolerate stupid people, but when I do, I'm probably at work" -- a work variation of the :Most Interesting Man in the World" meme -- is a jocular saying that…
The phrase "call the shots" shouldn't be confused with shots of alcohol, but there are jokes. "YOU CALL THE SHOTS... or you just drink em!" was posted on Facebook by X…