“I can tell people are judgmental just by looking at them”
"I can tell people are judgmental just by looking at them" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "I can tell people are judgmental just by looking at them.…
“I can’t believe I’ve been arrested for shoplifting. The cashier TOLD me to swipe the cardigan!”
"Swipe the cardigan" sounds like "swipe the (credit) card again." "I tried buying a buttoned sweater, but my payment was declined so I had to swipe the cardigan" was…
“I can’t decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up or are living the fullest”
"I can't decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life or are living it to the fullest" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. The saying was…
“I CAN’T DO THIS ANYMORE (I can and will keep doing this, I just need overreact first so I can focus)”
"I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE (I mean I can, I just need overreact first so I can focus)" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "I CANT DO THIS ANYMORE (I can and…
“I CAN’T DO THIS ANYMORE (I mean I can, I just need overreact first so I can focus)”
"I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE (I mean I can, I just need overreact first so I can focus)" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "I CANT DO THIS ANYMORE (I can and…
“I can’t stand people who blame everyone else for their problems. I’d be successful and happy by now if it wasn’t for them”
"I can't stand people who blame everyone else for their problems. I'd be successful and happy by now if it wasn't for them" is a jocular saying that was posted on X/Twitter…
“I can’t stand when people kick me in the back of the leg”
The saying "I can't stand" is usually not taken literally, but there are jokes. This was posted on Reddit -- Dadjokes on November 24, 2019: "I can't stand when people kick…
“I can’t wait until I retire so I can get up early on a morning and drive around really slowly”
"I can't wait until I retire so I can get up early on a morning and drive around really slowly making everyone late for work" is a jocular saying about retirement. The saying was…
“I can’t work in an environment where I’m expected to do my job”
"I can't work in an environment where I'm expected to do my job" is a popular ecard. The jocular saying has been cited on Twitter since October 2, 2013. TwitterMarvin EL…
“I can’t work today. There’s a huge ball of fire emitting deadly radiation” (joke)
An employment joke has been printed on many images: Employee: I can't work today. There's a huge ball of fire emitting deadly radiation.Boss: You can't skip work today because…
“I can’t even imagine the self control required to work at a bubble wrap factory”
Some jobs provide temptations. Who can resist popping a bubble wrap? "Hardest job ever: Working in a bubble wrap factory. Imagine the self-control needed" and "I can’t even imagine…
“I could be a morning person, if morning happened around noon”
"I could be a morning person, if morning happened around noon" is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on many images. "I could be a morning person . . . If morning…
“I couldn’t find a parking spot at work today, so I went home. Looks like they had enough people”
"I drove into work today but I couldn't find a parking spot, so I turned around and went home" was posted on Twitter by kingsolomon2010 on November 18, 2010. "Couldn't find…
“I couldn’t get my fridge to work this morning, so I took the bus instead”
"I couldn't get my fridge to work this morning, so I took the bus instead" is a joke that was posted on X/Twitter by Puns AndOneliners on August 2, 2019. The joke is that the fridge…
“I couldn’t pay my doctor, so he gave me another six months to live”
American comedican Henny Youngman (1906-1998) frequently told of a doctor who gave a man only six months to live. The man couldn't pay his medical bills, so the doctor gave him another six…
“I couldn’t work for that man after what he said to me” (joke)
An employment joke was printed in the Wilmington (DE) Morning News on December 26, 1933: "If the boss doesn't take back what he said to me, I shall leave.""What did he…
“I decided to greet my coworkers with a ‘Congrats on not dying in your sleep’”
"Good morning, Warren, and congratulations on once again not dying in your sleep…" is a jocular version of "good morning" that was posted on Twitter by Munsi on January 3,…
“I definitely learned my lesson about speeding today. I just showed up to work 20 minutes early”
One disadvantage of speeding -- besides potentially getting a speeding ticket -- is that the driver might arrive at a destination too early. "I definitely learned my lesson about speeding…
“I didn’t come this far to only come this far”
"I didn't come this far to only come this far" is a motivational saying that has been printed on many images. "From a FB friend: 'I didn't come this far, to only come…
“I didn’t get there by wishing for it or hoping for it, but by working for it” (Estée Lauder)
"I never dreamed about success. I worked for it" is a motivational saying that has been printed on many images. American businessperson Estée Lauder (1908-2004) -- born Josephine Esther…