“The closer you get, the slower I drive” (bumper sticker)
"The closer you get, the slower I drive" is a jocular bumper sticker saying that has been printed on many images. The bumper sticker has been cited in print since at least 2005. Google…
“The driver is safer when the roads are dry. The roads are safer when the driver is dry”
"The driver is safer when the roads are dry; the roads are safer when the driver is dry" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "The driver feels safer when the roads are…
“The drop in fuel prices during the lockdown is like a bald man winning a hairbrush”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in gas prices going down, but people were locked in their homes and couldn't go anywhere. "The drop in petrol price during the lockdown is like…
“The drop in gas prices during this lockdown is like a bald man winning a hairbrush”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in gas prices going down, but people were locked in their homes and couldn't go anywhere. "The drop in petrol price during the lockdown is like…
“The drop in petrol price during the lockdown is like a bald man winning a hairbrush”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in gas prices going down, but people were locked in their homes and couldn't go anywhere. "The drop in petrol price during the lockdown is like…
“The easiest way to bundle your home and auto insurance is to live in your car”
Insurance companies sometimes offer a bundle of home and auto insurance. This was posted on X/Twitter by tweetpotato314.bsky.social on January 28, 2019, and it received over 5,000 likes: "the…
“The existence of a gravy boat and a gravy train implies an entire gravy transportation system. Why isn’t anyone talking about this?”
A "gravy boat" is a sauce boat. A "gravy train" is a source of easy money. There are jokes about "gravy transportation." "There's a gravy boat and a gravy…
“The in-flight movie was so bad, people were walking out”
Airplanes in the 1960s, 1970s, 1980s and 1990s showed a movie, and people did not have private screens or other devices that offered a choice of entertainment. The old joke went: "That…
“The longest drum solo was 10 hours, 26 minutes & was performed by the child sitting behind me…”
Children on long flights can be annoying to other air passengers. This was posted on Twitter by Fake Music Facts on April 8, 2021: "The longest drum solo was 10 hours and 26 minutes and was…
“The Lord moves in mysterious ways, but you don’t have to. Please use your blinker”
"The Lord moves in mysterious ways, but you don’t have to. Please use your blinker" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "Mysterious Ways" is a song by the Irish…
“The most dangerous part of an automobile is the nut behind the wheel”
"The most dangerous part of an automobile is the nut behind the wheel" is an old saying about auto safety. The "nut" is the driver. The following poem was in the Brooklyn (NY)…
“The name New York City Subway implies the existence of the New York City Domway and the New York City Versway”
“Dominance and submission” or “dom/sub” doesn't mean that for every "subway" there must exist also a "domway," but there are jokes. Some jokes involve the…
“The officer said, ‘You drinking?’ I said, ‘You buying?’ We just laughed and laughed. I need bail money”
A driving-under-the-influence (DUI) joke has been printed on many images. "OK.. word to the wise... when officer pulls you over and asks 'You drinking?'.... dont answer back by…
“The only consistent thing in my life is that my check engine light is always on”
The "light of one's life" is often a person (such as a family member) or a religious figure (such as Jesus). A joke is that the only "light of one's life" that's…
“The only thing lit in my life is my check engine light”
The "light of one's life" is often a person (such as a family member) or a religious figure (such as Jesus). A joke is that the only "light of one's life" that's…
“The only thing not delivered by a truck is a baby”
"The only thing not delivered by a truck is a baby" is a jocular saying that has been printed on bumper stickers. The saying has been cited in print since at least 2000. "If you…
“The only time you have too much fuel is when you’re on fire” (aviation adage)
"The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire" is often said to be a pilot's axiom or aviation adage. The saying is sometimes credited to Australian aviator…
“The problem with drinking and driving is that trees defend themselves very well”
"The problem with drinking and driving is that trees defend themselves very well" is a one-line saying that has been printed on GIFs. The saying was first posted on Twitter on July 19,…
“The prophecy has been fulfilled” ($7.11 gas at 7-Eleven store)
7-Eleven retail convenience stores were named after the hours 7 a.m. (opening) and 11 p,m, (closing), although many stores are now open all 24 hours a day. An interesting occurrence is when it…
“The scariest part of that song ‘Born to be Wild’ is when they find a head out on the highway”
The song "Born to Be Wild" by Steppenwolf, featured in the motorcycle travel movie Easy Rider (1969), contains the lyrics, "Head out on the highway." "I think the scariest…