“Takeoffs are optional; landings are mandatory” (aviation adage)
"Takeoffs are optional, landings are mandatory" is a well-known aviation adage. "Takeoff is optional, but landing is mandatory" has been cited in print since at least 1986, when…
“Taxi driver made them pray” (joke)
New York City cabbies have a reputation of reckless driving. A joke tells of a minister who gets into a cab and dies in a crash. St. Peter allows the taxi driver into heaven, but not the minister.…
“Tea or coffee?” / “Tea.” / “Wrong, it’s coffee.”
A joke has a flight attendant holding a pot, serving passengers and asking "Coffee of tea?" Flight attendant: "Coffee or tea?" Passenger: "Coffee." Flight attendant:…
“Tea or coffee?” / “Coffee.” / “Wrong, it’s tea.”
A joke has a flight attendant holding a pot, serving passengers and asking "Coffee of tea?" Flight attendant: "Coffee or tea?" Passenger: "Coffee." Flight attendant:…
“Teenagers drive like they’re going to die: elders drive like they have all the time in the world”
"Teenagers drive like they have limited time & old people drive like they have all the time in the world" is a jocular saying that was on Reddit's "Shower Thoughts" in…
“Teslas don’t have that new car smell. They come with that Elon Musk”
Many cars have a "new car smell." "Tesla Model S has that new car smell - 'Musk'. Outselling Mercedes, BMW, Audi…
“Test your air bag here” (sign on rear of a vehicle)
"Test your airbag here" (sign on rear of a vehicle, such as a large truck) is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. That is, if your vehicle hits the vehicle with this…
“Test your airbag here” (sign on rear of a vehicle)
"Test your airbag here" (sign on rear of a vehicle, such as a large truck) is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. That is, if your vehicle hits the vehicle with this…
“Thanks to Covid, my glove box is now my mask box”
The 2020 COVID-19 (coronavirus) pandemic resulted in many requirements to wear face masks. The glove box in people's cars became a mask box. "Not yet but my vehicle glove box is now a…
“That gas pedal hit different when leaving that work parking lot”
"That gas pedal hit different when leaving that work parking lot” (or "That gas pedal hit(s) different when you're leaving the work parking lot") is a saying that has been…
“That gas pedal hits different when you’re leaving the work parking lot”
"That gas pedal hit different when leaving that work parking lot” (or "That gas pedal hit(s) different when you're leaving the work parking lot") is a saying that has been…
“The 6 year old flatly refused to believe that we used to navigate using maps made out of paper. ‘You mean like pirates?’”
"We really used to print out 4 pages from MapQuest and travel like pirates" is a saying that has been printed on many images. Many drivers now use GPS. "Me: 'What did we do…
“The adult version of the ice cream machine being broken at McDonald’s is the car wash being broken”
The ice cream machines at McDonald's restaurants are often broken. The car washes at gas stations are also often broken. "Works car wash is like McDonald's ice cream machine, always…
“The airlines have become so cash-strapped, they charged me for my emotional baggage”
A popular airlines joke is that they would charge for "emotional baggage" if they could. "Airlines to charge extra for emotional baggage..." was posted on Twitter on January 18,…
“The airport is a lawless place. 7am? Drink a beer. Tired? Sleep on the floor”
A saying about airports was posted on Twitter by Alyssa Limperis on May 23, 2018: "The airport is a lawless place. 7am? Drink a beer. Tired? Sleep on the floor. Hungry? Chips now cost…
“The best place to get clean diapers is at the airport. They’re doody-free”
"Duty free" shouldn't be confused with "doody free," but there are jokes. "I love clean airport jokes! They are always doody free" was posted on X/Twitter by…
“The bicycle is a curious vehicle. Its passenger is its engine”
"The bicycle is a curious vehicle. Its passenger is its engine" is a quotation from American cyclist John Howard that has been printed on many images. Howard wrote in The Cyclist's…
“The boat store held a paddle sale. It was quite an oar deal”
"Oar-Deal" (a pun on "ordeal") is a registered trademark since 1954 for an oar protector. A joke was cited on Twitter on September 28, 2012: "There was a big paddle sale at…
“The car manual says that I shouldn’t turn up the stereo to full volume. That’s sound advice”
The expression "sound advice" usually doesn't literally involve sound, but there are jokes. This was posted on Twitter by Reverend Scott on June 20, 2016: SON: The car's manual…
“The closer you get, the slower I drive” (bumper sticker)
"The closer you get, the slower I drive" is a jocular bumper sticker saying that has been printed on many images. The bumper sticker has been cited in print since at least 2005. Google…