“I told my dyslexic mate to turn his clock back…” (joke)
The Daylight Saving Time practice of "spring forward, fall back" has everyone setting a clock back one hour in the fall. A dyslexic "turn your clock back" joke was posted on…
“I tried to catch some fog. I mist”
"I tired to catch some fog. I mist" is a pun that has been printed on many gift items, such as posters, T-shirts, hats and bumper stickers. "Just tried to catch some fog. I…
“I tried using a colander to view the eclipse. I think I’ve strained my eyes”
A colander is a kitchen utensil that has holes to drain foods. The holes can be looked through, but a colander is not a telescope. A joke became popular on Sickipedia in March 2015: "I tried…
“I used to do drugs in the 60s. Now I don’t care what the temperature is”
"I used to do drugs in the 60s/70s/80s/90s. Now I don't care what the temperature is" is a joke that has been cited in print since at least the early 1990s. Authorship is unknown.…
“I used to do drugs in the 70s. Now I don’t care what the temperature is”
"I used to do drugs in the 60s/70s/80s/90s. Now I don't care what the temperature is" is a joke that has been cited in print since at least the early 1990s. Authorship is unknown.…
“I used to do drugs in the 80s. Now I don’t care what the temperature is”
"I used to do drugs in the 60s/70s/80s/90s. Now I don't care what the temperature is" is a joke that has been cited in print since at least the early 1990s. Authorship is unknown.…
“I used to do drugs in the 90s. Now I don’t care what the temperature is”
"I used to do drugs in the 60s/70s/80s/90s. Now I don't care what the temperature is" is a joke that has been cited in print since at least the early 1990s. Authorship is unknown.…
“I used to do drugs in the sixties. Now I don’t care what the temperature is”
"I used to do drugs in the 60s/70s/80s/90s. Now I don't care what the temperature is" is a joke that has been cited in print since at least the early 1990s. Authorship is unknown.…
“I usually meet my girlfriend at 12:59 because I like that one-to-one time”
A joke about time was submitted by Tom Ward to the Edinburgh (Scotland) Festival Fringe in August 2015: "I usually meet my girlfriend at 12:59 because I like that one-to-one time." The…
“I walked in on my wife yelling that she hated low lying clouds…” (joke)
"Mist" for the word "missed" is a common weather pun. "I haven't the foggiest idea or have I mist the point, sorry my thoughts are a bit cloudy at the moment!"…
“I was gonna tell a joke about a broken clock, but it’s not the right time”
"I have a joke about a broken clock but it’s not the right time" is a joke that was posted on X/Twitter by Matt Walsh on July 25, 2020. "I was gonna tell a a joke about a broken…
“I was poor, I had to use old calendars for toilet paper. Now those days are behind me”
What do people do with old calendars? A joke was posted on Twitter by The Rudeman on April 16, 2013: "Once we were so poor, we only had old calendars to use as toilet paper. Now those days are…
“I was told that time heals all wounds, but what exactly do you do on the days that it feels like the hands on your clock have arthritis”
"Time heals all wounds" is an old saying that might or might not be true. This joke was posted on X/Twitter by Princess Buttercup on May 23, 2014, and it received over 7,500 likes:…
“I went outside today, it was cold and there were people. Zero stars. Do not recommend it”
"Went outside today. It was cold and there were people. Zero stars. Do not recommend" (or "I went outside today, it was cold and there were people. Zero stars. Do not recommend…
“I went to the Air and Space Museum the other day. There was nothing there!”
What's in an air and space museum? Just air and space? "I want my money back. I went to the air and space museum and there was nothing in it. http://bit.ly/NpDLu7 via @sickipedia"…
“I will not eat my cold weather snacks early”
Many people prepare for an extreme weather event by buying snacks, but then there's the temptation to immediately eat them. "I WILL NOT EAT MY [HURRICANE/SNOWSTORM] SNACKS EARLY" is…
“I will not eat my hurricane snacks early”
Many people prepare for an extreme weather event by buying snacks, but then there's the temptation to immediately eat them. "I WILL NOT EAT MY [HURRICANE/SNOWSTORM] SNACKS EARLY" is…
“I will not eat my snow storm snacks early”
Many people prepare for an extreme weather event by buying snacks, but then there's the temptation to immediately eat them. "I WILL NOT EAT MY [HURRICANE/SNOWSTORM] SNACKS EARLY" is…
“I will not eat my snowpocalypse snacks early”
Many people prepare for an extreme weather event by buying snacks, but then there's the temptation to immediately eat them. "I WILL NOT EAT MY [HURRICANE/SNOWSTORM] SNACKS EARLY" is…
“I will not eat my snowstorm snacks early”
Many people prepare for an extreme weather event by buying snacks, but then there's the temptation to immediately eat them. "I WILL NOT EAT MY [HURRICANE/SNOWSTORM] SNACKS EARLY" is…