“I’m so poor my only funds are daylight savings”
Daylight Savings Time is not monetary savings, but there are jokes. "I'm so poor by the end of next month even my daylight savings account will be depleted" was posted on Twitter by…
“I’m sorry for the things I said when it was winter”
"I'm sorry for the things I said when it was winter" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. The saying has been cited in print since at least April 2014 and is of…
“I’m still writing one hour earlier on all my checks” (Daylight Saving Time joke)
During the first week of January, many people mistakenly write the old year on their checks. The joke has also been told about Daylight Saving Time. "Still writing 'one hour later'…
“I’m thinking about joining the cicadas this summer & screaming constantly”
"Might join the cicadas this summer & scream constantly" (also "I'm thinking about joining the cicadas this summer & screaming constantly") is a jocular summer…
“I’m tired of seeing ya’ll enjoying summer. Get a job and be miserable like the rest of us”
"I'm tired of seeing ya'll enjoying summer. Get a job and be miserable like the rest of us" is a jocular summer saying that has been printed on many images. "Hope every had…
“I’m very good friends with the other members of my time travelling club. We go back years”
There are many timely jokes about time travel. "Very good friends with the other members of my time travelling club. We go back years" was posted on Facebook by punsandoneliners.com on…
“I’m writing a book about hurricanes and tornadoes. It’s only a draft at the moment”
The word "draft" can mean several things. "Writing a book about the intensity of wind. So far, I've only done a draft" was posted on Twitter by Park Bench on January 10,…
“I’ve been waiting all winter to complain about the summer heat”
"I've been waiting all winter to complain about the summer heat" (or "I've been waiting all winter to start complaining about the summer heat") is a spring saying that…
“I’ve been waiting all winter to start complaining about the summer heat”
"I've been waiting all winter to complain about the summer heat" (or "I've been waiting all winter to start complaining about the summer heat") is a spring saying that…
“I’ve struggled with timekeeping since I don’t know when”
"I've struggled with timekeeping since I don't know when" is a joke that was posted on Twitter by 3AM on March 21, 2020. "I've struggled with timekeeping since I…
“I’ll sell my broken watch when the time is right”
"I’ll sell my broken watch when the time is right. http://bit.ly/WyrZaq via @sickipedia" was posted on Twitter by Fresh Stand Up on March 18, 2013. The joke originated on the Sickipedia…
“I’m ready for the week! I got my umbrella, my flip flops, turtle neck, my suntan lotion…”
"I'm ready for the rest of this week! I have my umbrella, my flip flops, my mittens, my suntan lotion, my winter coat, my sunglasses, my thermals, my iced tea and my hot chocolate!"…
“I’m traveling to Greenwich tomorrow. I’m not sure what to do in the Mean Time”
There have been several puns about Greenwich Mean Time. "Ok, so you go to the market in Greenwich then watch meteors in the park. What do you do in the MeanTime" was posted on Twitter on…
“idk how 1 hour made it go from dark at 9pm to dark at 5pm, someone lying”
People have noticed that when they turn their clocks back one hour, when it used to get dark at 9 p.m. it now gets dark at 5 p.m. -- a four hour difference. "how did ONE hour make it go from…
“idk how to explain this but Thursday, October and 8:00 PM are all the same”
"idk how to explain this but Thursday, October and 8:00 PM are all the same" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The connection is that the week (days), year (months) or day…
“If 40 is the new 30 and 50 is the new 40, why can’t Thursday be the new Friday?”
"If 40 is the new 30 and 50 is the new 40, why can’t Thursday be the new Friday?" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "Late to work. Why can't Thursday…
“If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?” (joke)
"April showers bring May flowers" is a proverb that dates to the 16th century. A popular Thanksgiving joke is: Q: If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?A:…
“If astrology isn’t real, then why is every girl born between January and December evil”
"If astrology isn’t real, then why is every man born between January and December evil" is a jocular saying that has been printed on several images. The speaker is using astrology for…
“If astrology isn’t real, then why is every man born between January and December evil”
"If astrology isn’t real, then why is every man born between January and December evil" is a jocular saying that has been printed on several images. The speaker is using astrology for…
“If astrology isn’t real, then why is every woman born between January and December evil”
"If astrology isn’t real, then why is every man born between January and December evil" is a jocular saying that has been printed on several images. The speaker is using astrology for…