“I squint at the sun because it’s bright. I squint at people because they aren’t”
"We squint at the sun because it's bright. We squint at people because they're not" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "We squint at the sun because…
“I squint at the sun because it’s bright. I squint at people because they’re not”
"We squint at the sun because it's bright. We squint at people because they're not" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "We squint at the sun because…
“I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me”
"I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me" is a joke that became popular on the Internet in the late 1990s, but is much older. "I have always wondered…
“I stayed up to watch daylight savings time. It was still dark”
"I stayed up to watch daylight savings time. It was still dark" is a joke that has been printed on many images. This experience is not like watching a sunrise or a sunset. Some people…
“I still don’t know what I’m wearing to the living room New Year’s Eve. I might not even go”
"I still don't know what I'm wearing to the living room New Year's Eve. I might not even go" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. The saying is from…
“I survived a fall without a parachute. I’ve also survived a winter, spring and summer without one, too”
"Fall" can be a season, and it can also mean a drop. This pun was posted on X/Twitter by Funny Dad Jokes on April 6, 2026: "I survived a fall without a parachute... I've also…
“I survived a Monday, and for what? Tuesday? Disgusting”
"I survived a Tuesday, and for what? Wednesday? Disgusting" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. Both Tuesday and Wednesday are usually work days. "i survived a…
“I survived a Monday, and for what? Tuesday? When does it end?”
"I survived a Tuesday, and for what? Wednesday? Disgusting" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. Both Tuesday and Wednesday are usually work days. "i survived a…
“I survived a Tuesday, and for what? Wednesday? Disgusting”
"I survived a Tuesday, and for what? Wednesday? Disgusting" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. Both Tuesday and Wednesday are usually work days. "i survived a…
“I survived a Tuesday, and for what? Wednesday? When does it end?”
"I survived a Tuesday, and for what? Wednesday? Disgusting" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. Both Tuesday and Wednesday are usually work days. "i survived a…
“I survived a Wednesday, and for what? Thursday? Disgusting”
"I survived a Tuesday, and for what? Wednesday? Disgusting" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. Both Tuesday and Wednesday are usually work days. "i survived a…
“I survived a Wednesday, and for what? Thursday? When does it end?”
"I survived a Tuesday, and for what? Wednesday? Disgusting" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. Both Tuesday and Wednesday are usually work days. "i survived a…
“I swear it was Friday like 2 seconds ago”
"I swear it was Friday like 5 minutes ago" is a jocular saying (showing how fast the weekend passes by) that has been printed on many images. "Its moday ....damn already it was…
“I swear it was Friday like 5 minutes ago”
"I swear it was Friday like 5 minutes ago" is a jocular saying (showing how fast the weekend passes by) that has been printed on many images. "Its moday ....damn already it was…
“I talk a lot of shit about Mondays, but Tuesdays can go fuck themselves, too”
"I talk a lot of shit about Mondays, but Tuesdays can go fuck themselves, too" is a saying that has been printed on many images Many people hate Monday, the start of the traditional work…
“I talk a lot of trash about Mondays, but Tuesdays can go fuck themselves, too”
"I talk a lot of shit about Mondays, but Tuesdays can go fuck themselves, too" is a saying that has been printed on many images Many people hate Monday, the start of the traditional work…
“I think of Wednesday as the middle finger of the work week”
"Wednesday is like the middle finger of the week" is a Wednesday saying that has been printed on many images. "RT: @JeremyLeeAsh: Wednesday is kinda like the middle finger of the…
“I think outside is low on Freon”
"I think outside is low on Freon" -- that is, it's hot -- is a saying that has been printed on many images. "It must be 'Low on Freon' outside? #Hot!…
“I think people who use the wrong word should have the humidity to admit it”
"Humidity" shouldn't be confused with "humility." A joke was posted on Twitter by Nick on August 7, 2013: "People who use the wrong words sometimes should have the…
“I thought I’d take a stab at an Ides of March joke”
March 15th (the middle of the month) is called the Ides of March. Roman general and statesman Julius Caesar was assassinated on March 15, 44 B.C. "If I read one more corny ides of March joke,…