“Is it OK to be dismayed on June 1st?”
The word "dismay" has nothing to do with the month of May, but there are jokes. "Good morning, everyone. It's June 1. We are disMAYed" was posted on Twitter by El Gecko on…
“Is the world ready for ejaculating clocks? I guess we’ll know when the time comes”
A clock joke was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on January 5, 2019: "Is the world ready for ejaculating clocks? I guess we'll know when the time comes." The joke was also posted on Reddit…
“It ain’t the heat, it’s the humility”
"It's not the heat, it's the humidity" is an old line about the weather. "It ain't the heat, it's the humility" is a popular variation. "'It's…
“It gets late early out there”
"It Gets Late So Early" was a 1955 song hit by Lefty Frizzell. New York Yankee catcher Yogi Berra (1925-2015) talked about the shadows in left field at Yankee Stadium in the fall, when he…
“It is Sunday. I plan on doing nothing and plenty of it”
"It's Saturday. I plan on doing nothing and plenty of it" is a jocular Saturday saying that has been printed on many images. "It's saturday...I plan on doing nothing and…
“It may be Friday the 13th, but it is still Friday and a reason to dance”
"It may be Friday the 13th, but it is still Friday and a reason to dance" is a Friday saying that has been printed on many images. "It may be Friday the 13th , but it is still Friday…
“It rains on rich and poor alike, but the rich have better umbrellas”
"He maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust" is from the New Testament, Matthew 5:45. "The rain falls on the just and the…
“It takes a flood to break a drought”
"It takes a flood to break/end a drought" is an old weather saying of uncertain origin. "It takes a flood to end a drought and it takes a drought to end a flood" was cited in a…
“It takes both sunshine and rain to make a rainbow”
"It takes both sunshine and rain to make a rainbow" is an inspirational saying that has been printed on many images. The saying means that there will be "good days" (sunshine)…
“It was raining cats and dogs and I stepped in a poodle”
"To rain cats and dogs" means to rain heavily. The idiom has been cited in print since at least the 17th century. "It was raining cats and dogs and I stepped in a poodle" (a pun…
“It was so cold in New York that I saw a dog stuck to a fire hydrant”
"It was so cold in New York that I saw a dog stuck to a fire hydrant" is a classic joke about the weather. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1986 and may have been…
“It was so cold in New York that I saw a gangsta pull his pants up”
"It was so cold in New York that I saw a gangsta pull his pants up" is a jocular line that has been printed on many ecards. "It's so cold outside that teens at the mall are…
“It was so cold in New York that I saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets”
"It's so cold I saw a lawyer/politician with his hands in his own pockets!" is a joke that's frequently credited to comedians Johnny Carson (1925-2005) and Fred Allen…
“It was so cold in New York that the flashers were only describing themselves”
"It was so cold in New York, flashers were only describing themselves" is a classic New York City joke about cold weather. The joke has often been credited to late night television…
“It was so cold in New York that they canceled the ice festival”
"It was so cold in New York that they canceled the ice festival" is not just a joke -- it really did happen in February 2016. On February 12, 2016, the Central Park Conservancy canceled…
“It was so cold in New York that, in Central Park, I saw a squirrel salting his nuts”
Television's Late Show with David Letterman (1993-2015) was based in New York City, and there were many New York City jokes. David Letterman told this joke on January 23, 2004, as posted to…
“It was so cold in New York the Statue of Liberty put the torch under her dress”
"It was so cold in New York City that the Statue of Liberty put the torch inside/under/up her dress" is a jocular line that has been printed on T-shirts. Many late night television…
“It was so cold outside that I farted snowflakes”
"It was so cold outside that I farted snowflakes" is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on many images. "It was so cold that winter so I farted snowflakes until the…
“It was so cold that Dunkin’ Donuts was serving coffee on a stick”
Coffee is usually -- but not always -- served hot. A winter joke is: "It was so cold that Dunkin' Donuts (or Starbucks or a local coffeehouse) was serving coffee on a stick."…
“It was so cold that grandpa’s teeth chattered—and they were still in the glass”
"It was so cold that false teeth chattered -- and they were still in the glass" is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on several images. "It was so cold last week that…