“How often should you wear gloves in the winter?”/“Intermittenly.”
A joke about winter mittens was printed in the "Cryptoquip" column in many newspapers on February 1, 2008: "I don't really love having gloves on my hands. THat's why I only…
“How the days feel: Mooooooonday Tueeeeeesday Weednesday Thuursday Friday Strdy S”
For many people, the longest days seem to be Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday, while the shortest days seem to be the weekend of Friday, Saturday and Sunday. This is jocularly illustrated on many…
“How to be a good climate activist: Step 1 - own a private jet Step 2 - lecture the poor Step 3- fly to Davos Step 4 - give yourself an award”
A jocular step-by-step list on "How to be a good Climate Activist" has been printed on many images. This was posted on X/Twitter -- it has since been removed -- by Sophie Corcoran…
“How to be a good Climate Activist: 1. Own a private jet. 2. Own a yacht. 3. Own 5 mansions. 4. Lecture poor people on how selfish they are”
A jocular step-by-step list on "How to be a good Climate Activist" has been printed on many images. This was posted on X/Twitter -- it has since been removed -- by Sophie Corcoran…
“How to dress for cold weather: 1. take your pants off 2. get back into bed”
"How to dress for cold weather: 1. take your pants off 2. get back into bed" is a jocular winter saying that has been printed on many images. The saying has been cited in print since at…
“How to say I hate you in a nice way? ‘You are the Monday of my life’”
Many people hate Mondays. "How to say I hate you in a nice way? 'You are the Monday of my life'" and "Don't tell anyone 'I hate you' directly. Say 'You…
“How’s the New Year going?”/“Shofar, so good.”
The shofar (ram's horn) is sounded on Rosh Hashanah (the start of the Jewish New Year) and on Yom Kippur (the end of the Jewish New Year). "Shofar" sounds like "so far,"…
“How’s the weather up there?” (said to a tall person)
"How's the weather up there?" is a jocular line said to a very tall person. "How's the weather up there?" has been cited in print since at least 1886 -- when a…
“Humid weather is like walking through soup”
Entry in progress -- BP yahoo! newsSouthern LivingThings Southerners Say When It's Hot Valerie Fraser LuesseMarch 20, 2017(...)It’s like walking through soup out here. The Mountain Eagle…
“Humidity is a natural moisturizer”
Humidity has been called the "natural moisturizer" or "nature's moisturizer" or "God's moisturizer," especially in the American South. "I always claimed…
“Humidity is God’s moisturizer”
Humidity has been called the "natural moisturizer" or "nature's moisturizer" or "God's moisturizer," especially in the American South. "I always claimed…
“Humidity is nature’s moisturizer”
Humidity has been called the "natural moisturizer" or "nature's moisturizer" or "God's moisturizer," especially in the American South. "I always claimed…
“Humidity: nature’s moisturizer”
Humidity has been called the "natural moisturizer" or "nature's moisturizer" or "God's moisturizer," especially in the American South. "I always claimed…
“Hump Day Wednesday: not as depressing as Monday, not as exciting as Friday”
"Hump Day: not as depressing as Monday, not as exciting as Friday" (also "Wednesday: not as depressing as Monday, not as exciting as Friday” and "Hump Day Wednesday: not as…
“Hump Day: not as depressing as Monday, not as exciting as Friday”
"Hump Day: not as depressing as Monday, not as exciting as Friday" (also "Wednesday: not as depressing as Monday, not as exciting as Friday” and "Hump Day Wednesday: not as…
“Hurricane Reminder: Red wine doesn’t need to be refrigerated”
"Hurricane Reminder: Red wine doesn't need to be refrigerated" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "Hurricane tip: Red wine does not need to be…
“I am first on earth, second in heaven. I appear twice in a week, once in a year. What am I?”
A riddle was printed in the Camden (NJ) Post-Telegram (and other newspapers) on May 2, 1913: Kid -- What is it that occurs once in a minute, twice in a week, and yet only once in a year?Gent --…
“I am instantly 70% nicer after 3 PM on Fridays”
"I am instantly 70% nicer after 3 PM on Fridays" is a Friday saying that has been printed on many images. "I become 70% nicer after 3pm on Fridays" was posted on Twitter by Fí…
“I am not an early bird or a night owl. I am some form of permanently exhausted pigeon”
"I am not an early bird or a night owl. I am some form of permanently exhausted pigeon" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "Early bird? Night owl? I pick…
“I am not going outside until the temperature is above my age”
"I'm not going outside until (the) temperature is above my age" is a winter saying that has been printed on many images. The older one gets, the hotter the temperature needed.…