“How do Communists tell time?”/“Ours.”
"Hours" sounds like "ours." "What is the Marxists BLM organization favorite way to measure time? Ours" was posted on Twitter by Charged Neutron $8 on August 2, 2020.…
“How do I tell time when clocks have no ears?”
When you "tell time" you're not speaking to time, but there are jokes. "How do I tell time when clocks have no ears?" was posted on Reddit -- Shittyaskscience on March 7,…
“How do trees feel in the spring?”/“Releaved.”
A tree riddle has been printed on several images: Q: How do trees feel in the spring?A: Releaved. "Releaved" (for "relieved") is a pun on the word "leaves." A tree…
“How do weathermen get up a mountain?”/“They climate.”
A weather pun is: Q: How do weathermen get up a mountain?A: They climate. "How do meteorologists make their way up the corporate ladder? They climate" was cited on Twitter on February 12,…
“How do you know when the weather is entertained?”/“When the thunder claps.”
Entry in progress -- BP Wiktionary: thunderclapNounthunderclap (plural thunderclaps)1. A sudden, loud thunder caused by a nearby lightning strike; a shock of thunder, as opposed to a reverberating…
“How do you prevent a summer cold?”/“Catch it in the winter.”
A riddle about the seasons is: Q: How do you prevent a summer cold?A: Catch it in the winter. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1996. Google BooksFunniest Riddle Book in the WorldBy…
“How do you scare a snowman?”/“You get a hairdryer!”
A snowman riddle is: Q: How do you scare a snowman?A: You get a hairdryer! The joke was posted on Twitter on November 9, 2011. TwitterHannah @HannahTweetsWWE.. How do you scare a snowman? You…
“How do you spot a glacier?”/“You have to have good ice sight.”
"Ice sight" can sound like "eyesight." "What you have to have to spot a glacier -- GOOD ICE SIGHT" was printed in the newspaper "Jumble" puzzle by Henri…
“How does Bigfoot know what time it is?”/“He looks at his Sasquatch.”
"Sasquatch" has nothing to do with a "watch" or a "Swatch," but there are jokes. "How does Bigfoot tell the time? With his Sasquatch!" was posted on Twitter…
“How does the man in the moon cut his hair?”/“Eclipse it.”
A riddle about the moon is: Q: How does the man in/on the moon cut his hair?A: Eclipse it. The "eclipse it"/"he clips it" pun has been cited in print since at least 1984. 16…
“How does the man on the moon cut his hair?”/“Eclipse it.”
A riddle about the moon is: Q: How does the man in/on the moon cut his hair?A: Eclipse it. The "eclipse it"/"he clips it" pun has been cited in print since at least 1984. 16…
“How long do chickens work?”/“Around the cluck.”
"Around the clock" is used in a chicken pun as "around the cluck." This version was printed on a 1961 newspaper: Pat: "Is raising chickens hard work?"Mike: "It…
“How long have you been chopping wood for?”/“I’m not sure, I’ll check the logs.”
A time pun was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on June 11, 2016: "How long have you been chopping wood for?""I'm not sure, I'll check the logs." The joke was posted on…
“How many months have 28 days?” (riddle)
There is a popular riddle about the days in the month: Q: Some months have 31 days, some months have 30 days. How many months have 28 days?A. All twelve of them. February, of course, is the only…
“How many stars are in the sky?”/“All of them.”
An astronomy riddle is: Q: How many stars are in the sky?A: All of them. The riddle was printed in the "Ask Marilyn" column by Marilyn Mach Vos Savant in Parade Magazine on March 22,…
“How much does a rainbow weigh?”/“Not much, they’re actually pretty light.”
A rainbow riddle is: Q: How much does a rainbow weigh?A: Not much, they're actually pretty light. "How much does a rainbow weigh?... Hardly anything. They're pretty light!" was…
“How often should you wear gloves in the winter?”/“Intermittenly.”
A joke about winter mittens was printed in the "Cryptoquip" column in many newspapers on February 1, 2008: "I don't really love having gloves on my hands. THat's why I only…
“How the days feel: Mooooooonday Tueeeeeesday Weednesday Thuursday Friday Strdy S”
For many people, the longest days seem to be Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday, while the shortest days seem to be the weekend of Friday, Saturday and Sunday. This is jocularly illustrated on many…
“How to be a good climate activist: Step 1 - own a private jet Step 2 - lecture the poor Step 3- fly to Davos Step 4 - give yourself an award”
A jocular step-by-step list on "How to be a good Climate Activist" has been printed on many images. This was posted on X/Twitter -- it has since been removed -- by Sophie Corcoran…
“How to be a good Climate Activist: 1. Own a private jet. 2. Own a yacht. 3. Own 5 mansions. 4. Lecture poor people on how selfish they are”
A jocular step-by-step list on "How to be a good Climate Activist" has been printed on many images. This was posted on X/Twitter -- it has since been removed -- by Sophie Corcoran…