“How does Bigfoot know what time it is?”/“He looks at his Sasquatch.”
"Sasquatch" has nothing to do with a "watch" or a "Swatch," but there are jokes. "How does Bigfoot tell the time? With his Sasquatch!" was posted on Twitter…
“How does the man in the moon cut his hair?”/“Eclipse it.”
A riddle about the moon is: Q: How does the man in/on the moon cut his hair?A: Eclipse it. The "eclipse it"/"he clips it" pun has been cited in print since at least 1984. 16…
“How does the man on the moon cut his hair?”/“Eclipse it.”
A riddle about the moon is: Q: How does the man in/on the moon cut his hair?A: Eclipse it. The "eclipse it"/"he clips it" pun has been cited in print since at least 1984. 16…
“How long do chickens work?”/“Around the cluck.”
"Around the clock" is used in a chicken pun as "around the cluck." This version was printed on a 1961 newspaper: Pat: "Is raising chickens hard work?"Mike: "It…
“How long have you been chopping wood for?”/“I’m not sure, I’ll check the logs.”
A time pun was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on June 11, 2016: "How long have you been chopping wood for?""I'm not sure, I'll check the logs." The joke was posted on…
“How many months have 28 days?” (riddle)
There is a popular riddle about the days in the month: Q: Some months have 31 days, some months have 30 days. How many months have 28 days?A. All twelve of them. February, of course, is the only…
“How many stars are in the sky?”/“All of them.”
An astronomy riddle is: Q: How many stars are in the sky?A: All of them. The riddle was printed in the "Ask Marilyn" column by Marilyn Mach Vos Savant in Parade Magazine on March 22,…
“How much does a rainbow weigh?”/“Not much, they’re actually pretty light.”
A rainbow riddle is: Q: How much does a rainbow weigh?A: Not much, they're actually pretty light. "How much does a rainbow weigh?... Hardly anything. They're pretty light!" was…
“How often should you wear gloves in the winter?”/“Intermittenly.”
A joke about winter mittens was printed in the "Cryptoquip" column in many newspapers on February 1, 2008: "I don't really love having gloves on my hands. THat's why I only…
“How the days feel: Mooooooonday Tueeeeeesday Weednesday Thuursday Friday Strdy S”
For many people, the longest days seem to be Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday, while the shortest days seem to be the weekend of Friday, Saturday and Sunday. This is jocularly illustrated on many…
“How to be a good climate activist: Step 1 - own a private jet Step 2 - lecture the poor Step 3- fly to Davos Step 4 - give yourself an award”
A jocular step-by-step list on "How to be a good Climate Activist" has been printed on many images. This was posted on X/Twitter -- it has since been removed -- by Sophie Corcoran…
“How to be a good Climate Activist: 1. Own a private jet. 2. Own a yacht. 3. Own 5 mansions. 4. Lecture poor people on how selfish they are”
A jocular step-by-step list on "How to be a good Climate Activist" has been printed on many images. This was posted on X/Twitter -- it has since been removed -- by Sophie Corcoran…
“How to dress for cold weather: 1. take your pants off 2. get back into bed”
"How to dress for cold weather: 1. take your pants off 2. get back into bed" is a jocular winter saying that has been printed on many images. The saying has been cited in print since at…
“How to say I hate you in a nice way? ‘You are the Monday of my life’”
Many people hate Mondays. "How to say I hate you in a nice way? 'You are the Monday of my life'" and "Don't tell anyone 'I hate you' directly. Say 'You…
“How’s the New Year going?”/“Shofar, so good.”
The shofar (ram's horn) is sounded on Rosh Hashanah (the start of the Jewish New Year) and on Yom Kippur (the end of the Jewish New Year). "Shofar" sounds like "so far,"…
“How’s the weather up there?” (said to a tall person)
"How's the weather up there?" is a jocular line said to a very tall person. "How's the weather up there?" has been cited in print since at least 1886 -- when a…
“Humid weather is like walking through soup”
Entry in progress -- BP yahoo! newsSouthern LivingThings Southerners Say When It's Hot Valerie Fraser LuesseMarch 20, 2017(...)It’s like walking through soup out here. The Mountain Eagle…
“Humidity is a natural moisturizer”
Humidity has been called the "natural moisturizer" or "nature's moisturizer" or "God's moisturizer," especially in the American South. "I always claimed…
“Humidity is God’s moisturizer”
Humidity has been called the "natural moisturizer" or "nature's moisturizer" or "God's moisturizer," especially in the American South. "I always claimed…
“Humidity is nature’s moisturizer”
Humidity has been called the "natural moisturizer" or "nature's moisturizer" or "God's moisturizer," especially in the American South. "I always claimed…