“Why are a Texas tornado and a Tennessee divorce the same? (joke)
A popular redneck joke is: Q: Why are a Texas tornado and a Tennessee divorce the same?A: Somebody's gonna lose a trailer. The joke was cited in a "That's Jake" comic strip by…
“Why are so few murders solved in the South?”/“No dental records and all the DNA matches.”
"OT: Bad southerner joke" was posted on the newsgroup alt.sports.football.pro.dallas-cowboys on November 26, 2003: Q: Why are so few murders solved in the southA: No dental records and…
“Why did God create armadillos?” (joke)
One popular armadillo joke is: Q: Why did God create armadillos?A: So Texans would have something to eat on the half shell. "Barbecued armadillo on the half shell" was a joke cited in an…
“Why did the chicken cross the road?”/“To show the armadillo it could be done!”
The ancient joke "Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To get to the other side!" gets a Texas twist when the armadillo is added. A famous Texas phrase is: "There's nothing…
“Why did the cowboy buy a dachshund?”/“He wanted to get a long little doggy.”
A joke on the song title "Git Along, Little Dogies" is: Q: Why did the cowboy buy a wiener dog (dachshund)?A: He wanted to get a long little doggy. The joke applies to buying a dachshund…
“Why did the cowboy buy a wiener dog?”/“He wanted to get a long little doggy.”
A joke on the song title "Git Along, Little Dogies" is: Q: Why did the cowboy buy a wiener dog (dachshund)?A: He wanted to get a long little doggy. The joke applies to buying a dachshund…
“Why did the cowboy get a hot seat?”/“Because he rode the range.”
A cowboy riddle is: Q: Why did the cowboy get a hot seat?A: Because he rode the range. The joke was posted on the newsgroup alt.humor.puns on December 21, 2002. Google Groups: alt.humor.punsPuns of…
“Why do Mexicans never cross the border in groups of three?”/“Because a sign says ‘No Trespassing.’”
A riddle about border crossings is: Q: Why do Mexicans never cross the border in groups of three?A: Because the sign says "No Trespassing." "Tres" is the Spanish word for…
“Why does Dr Pepper come in a bottle?” (dirty joke)
Dr Pepper is a carbonated soft drink that was created in the 1880s by Charles Alderton in Waco, Texas. A popular off-color Dr Pepper joke is: Q: Why does Cr Pepper come in a bottle?A: Because his…
“Why is Texas called the Lone Star State?”/“It’s their Yelp rating.”
Texas has been called the "Lone Star State" since the 1840s because of the single star in its flag. A modern joke is: Q: Why is Texas called the Lone Star State?A: It's their Yelp…
“Why the hell not?” (2006 Kinky Friedman campaign slogan for governor)
"Why the hell not?" was Texas author/musician/humorist Kinky Friedman's 2006 campaign slogan in the race for Governor of Texas. He finished fourth. The "Why the hell not?"…
“Wild as an acre of snakes”
"Wild as an acre of snakes" is said to be a Texas phrase (according to the Texas Monthly). Texas musician Stephen Bruton wrote a song called "Acre of Snakes." The phrase has…
“Will I be hot or cold today? Texas: Yes”
Texas weather can be hot in the day and then get very cold at night, especially in the spring or the fall. Texas weather can also be hot or cold from one day to the next. "Is it going to be…
“Winning Ugly” (Texas Rangers manager Doug Rader)
The 1983 Chicago White Sox won their division, but Texas Ranger manager Doug Rader didn't think they were all that good. "They're not playing that well. They're winning…
“Wish I paid more attention during my first rodeo”
“This ain’t my first rodeo” (or "This is not my first rodeo") is a popular saying. It is an expression that means “I wasn’t born yesterday” (I’m not naive in these matters),…
“Wish I’d paid better attention during my first rodeo”
“This ain’t my first rodeo” (or "This is not my first rodeo") is a popular saying. It is an expression that means “I wasn’t born yesterday” (I’m not naive in these matters),…
“Wish I’d paid more attention during my first rodeo”
“This ain’t my first rodeo” (or "This is not my first rodeo") is a popular saying. It is an expression that means “I wasn’t born yesterday” (I’m not naive in these matters),…
“With a name like Texas Instruments you’d think they would’ve made guitars, banjos, fiddles…”
Texas Instruments is an American technology company headquartered in Dallas, Texas. It doesn't make musical instruments, but there are jokes. "With a name like Texas Instruments…
“Women today are like the weather in Texas. You will never understand them”
Texas weather can change a lot -- and this has sometimes has been compared to women. The song "Boogie Mama" (from the 1998 album Lone Wolf) by Jerry Jeff Walker begins, "Just like…
“Work eight hours, sleep eight hours—but not the same hours” (T. Boone Pickens?)
Texas oilman T. Boone Pickens said in his book, The First Billion Is the Hardest (2008): "You work eight hours, and you sleep eight hours -- be sure they're not the same eight…