“How did the egg cross the road?”/“It scrambled across.”
"Why did the chicken cross the road?"/"To get to the other side" is a classic riddle from the 19th century. An egg version is: Q: How did the egg cross the road?A: It scrambled…
“How did the eggs leave the highway?”/“They went through the ‘eggs-it’.”
An egg riddle (popular at Easter) is: Q: How did the eggs leave the highway?A: They went through the "eggs-it." The joke has been cited in print since at least 2003. Google BooksFunny…
“How do you get rid of a boomerang?”/“Throw it down a one-way street.”
A boomerang riddle is: Q: How do you get rid of a boomerang?A: Throw it down a one-way street. The joke was printed in The Sun-Herald (Sydney, New South Wales) on July 8, 1973. Newspapers.com8 July…
“How do you stop a dog from barking in the street?”/“Put him in a barking lot!”
A car riddle was published in Bennett Cerf's Book of Animal Riddles (1964): Q: What is a good way to keep a dog off the street?A: Put him in a barking lot! "How do you stop a dog from…
“How many Alzheimer’s patients does it take to change a lightbulb?”/“To get to the other side!”
"Why did the chicken cross the road?"/"To get to the other side" is a classic riddle from the 19th century. Another popular riddle is the "lightbulb joke," asking how…
“How many roads must a man walk down before he admits he’s lost?”
The Bob Dylan song "Blowin' in the Wind" (1962) begins: "How many roads must a man walk downBefore you call him a man?" "How many roads must a man walk down before he…
“I bought a used UPS truck. It gets bad gas mileage, but I can park anywhere”
UPS delivery drivers get plenty of parking tickets, but the vehicles are still often parked where regular cars cannot. A joke is: "I bought a used UPS truck. It gets bad gas mileage, but I can…
“I crossed the road, walked into a bar, and changed a lightbulb…” (joke)
"I crossed the road, walked into a bar, and changed a light bulb. Then I realized that my life was a joke" is a joke that combine three popular memes. "Has changed a lightbulb,…
“I decided to cross the road, not because I’m brave, but because I’m chicken”
"Why did the chicken cross the road?"/"To get to the other side" is a classic riddle from the 19th century. One version is: "I decided to cross the road, not because…
“I dream of a world where chickens can cross the road…”
"Why did the chicken cross the road?"/"To get to the other side" is an old joke from the 19th century. "I dream of a world where chickens can cross the road without having…
“I feel like I’m diagonally parked in a parallel universe”
"I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe" -- that is, confused or disoriented -- is a one-line saying that has been printed on many images. The saying has been cited…
“I feel like they are adding street lights to my electric bill”
"I feel like they are adding street lights to my electric bill" is a saying that has been printed on many images. That is, the electric bill is expensive. Various energy companies have…
“I feel like they be adding the street lights to my light bill”
"I feel like they are adding street lights to my electric bill" is a saying that has been printed on many images. That is, the electric bill is expensive. Various energy companies have…
“I got pulled over in the carpool lane today…” (joke)
The COVID-19 (coronavirus) pandemic resulted in social distancing, but what about carpools? "I got pulled over for driving alone in the carpool lane. I said that due to social distancing my…
“I had my parking validated—which was nice because I’d been practicing for so long”
"Parking validation" usually refers to the parking slip that one gets when on entering a car park. A person can patronize a local business (such as going to a conference at hotel) and get…
“I hate when people are outside when I’m trying to parallel park. I need some privacy!”
Many people find that parallel parking is difficult. "I hate when people are outside when I'm trying to parallel park. I need some privacy!" is a saying that has been printed on…
“I have a fear of speed bumps, but I’m slowly getting over it”
A pun about speed bumps has made many images: "I have a fear of speed bumps, but I'm slowly getting over it." "I have an irrational fear of speed bumps but I'm getting over…
“I know it’s irrational, but it bothers me when someone parks in front of my house to go visit my next door neighbor”
Many people who live on a quiet residential street don't like it when someone parks in front of their house (and who isn't coming to their house). The homeowner regards the space as…
“I live on a cul-de-sac, which is French for ‘Everybody here is white’”
A "dead end" is sometimes called a cul-de-sac (a French term). When cul-de-sac is used, a different group of people can be expected to be living there. This was posted on Twitter by…
“I once read the road sign ‘Survey Crew Ahead’ as ‘Screwy Curve Ahead’”
The road sign "Survey Crew Ahead" confuses many people. A crew is surveying the road. "I saw a sign on the road while driving today that said, Survey crew ahead. I did. They looked…