“The worst thing about parallel parking is witnesses”
Many people have difficulty parallel parking -- and they'd prefer that no one watch them do it. "The worst thing about parallel parking is witnesses" is a jocular saying that was…
“There are two kinds of pedestrians—the quick and the dead”
"The quick and the dead" is a biblical saying. "There are two kinds of pedestrians -- the quick (i.e., those quick enough to get out of the way) and the dead" is an old joke.…
“These so-called speed bumps are a joke. If anything, they slow you down”
A "speed bump" is to slow a vehicle's speed, not give give a "bump" to increase a vehicle's speed. A joke was printed in Viz Magazine (UK) in 1999: "These…
“Thieves who stole 3 tons of tarmac have been hiding. Police are hoping they will resurface soon”
"Thieves who stole 3 ton of tarmac have been in hiding for 2 months now. A police spokesman said 'We are hoping they will resurface soon'" was posted on Twitter by 🤘⸸…
“To get to the time machine.”/“Why did the chicken cross the road?”
"Why did the chicken cross the road?"/"To get to the other side" is a classic riddle from the 19th century. A time machine version was posted on Reddit -- Dadjokes on July 5,…
“To the people who lose one shoe on the highway: Please tell me what the rest of your life is like”
One shoe -- not two -- can be found on the sides of highways. A joke was posted on Twitter by ratthew on September 25, 2015: "To the people who lose one shoe on the side of the highway: Please…
“Traffic is like real life buffering”
Waiting for traffic to clear has been compared to waiting for a computer to run. "Traffic is like the buffering of real life" was posted on Twitter on March 2, 2012. "Traffic is like…
“Traffic signals in New York are just rough guidelines”
David Letterman, the host of television's Late Night with David Letterman from New York City, commented about driving in the city: "Traffic signals in New York are just rough…
“Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—I took the one with a Starbucks drive-thru”
American poet Robert Frost (1874-1963) wrote in the poem "The Road Not Taken" (1916): "Two roads diverged in a wood, and I — I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all…
“Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—I took the one with tacos”
American poet Robert Frost (1874-1963) wrote in the poem "The Road Not Taken" (1916): "Two roads diverged in a wood, and I — I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all…
“Up your butt and around the corner through your tubes and out your boobs”
"Up your butt and around the corner" is a jocular saying about where something is located. Origin of the saying is unknown, but many people remember it from elementary school. The Urban…
“Up your butt and around the corner”
"Up your butt and around the corner" is a jocular saying about where something is located. Origin of the saying is unknown, but many people remember it from elementary school. The Urban…
“Waiting in traffic is like getting in line to go to work”
People often get stuck in traffic on the way to work. "Traffic is depressing. It's just waiting in line to go to work" was posted on Twitter by Jebb Sinclair on September 7, 2013.…
“Wanna hear a joke about a parking ticket?”/“No.”/“Fine.”
"Fine" can mean several things. A joke originated on the Sickipedia website and was posted by several people on Twitter on September 19, 2011: "Wanna hear a joke about a parking…
“We salt margaritas, not roads”
A margarita cocktail is often served in a glass with a salted rim. A cold climate area might use salt on sidewalks and roads to prevent icing. "We salt margaritas, not sidewalks" (or…
“We salt margaritas, not sidewalks”
A margarita cocktail is often served in a glass with a salted rim. A cold climate area might use salt on sidewalks and roads to prevent icing. "We salt margaritas, not sidewalks" (or…
“We should legalize cannabis in all 50 states, use the taxes to repair roads & highways & call it Operation Pot Hole”
"We should legalize cannabis in all 50 states, use the taxes to repair roads & highways & call it Operation Pot Hole" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images.…
“We should legalize marijuana in every state and use the revenue to fix all the highways and roads. We’ll call it Operation Pot Hole”
"We should legalize cannabis in all 50 states, use the taxes to repair roads & highways & call it Operation Pot Hole" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images.…
“We used to live on a very busy main road..” (joke)
When people say that they live on a very busy street, they do not usually mean living in the actual street -- but there are jokes. This joke was posted on Sickipedia in 2015 and 2017: "We used…
“What are people who back into parking spots trying to prove?”
People who back into parking spots are a peeve for many other people. "I can't help but think people who back into parking spots are just showing off" was posted on Twitter by…