“I don’t watch Fox News for the same reason I don’t drink out of the toilet”
"I don't watch [CNN/Fox News] for the same reason I don't eat out of the toilet" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "I don't watch [CNN/Fox…
“I don’t watch Fox News for the same reason I don’t eat out of the toilet”
"I don't watch [CNN/Fox News] for the same reason I don't eat out of the toilet" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "I don't watch [CNN/Fox…
“I finished Netflix today”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic caused many people to be locked down at home, where many of these people watched Netflix (an American media-services provider). "I finished Netflix…
“I got a job at Comcast and completed training so I could fix my own cable…” (joke)
Customer service for a communications company such as Comcast or Spectrum can take a long time. A joke was posted on Twitter by Simon Holland on May 8, 2017: "I got a job at Comcast and…
“I got a job at Spectrum and completed training so I could fix my own cable…” (joke)
Customer service for a communications company such as Comcast or Spectrum can take a long time. A joke was posted on Twitter by Simon Holland on May 8, 2017: "I got a job at Comcast and…
“I hate it when TV shows say they contain ‘adult situations’ but then don’t show anyone going to work, paying their bills…”
"I hate it when TV shows say they contain 'adult situations' but then don't show anyone going to work, paying their bills or cleaning up after their kids" is a saying that…
“I have been watching Fox News for six hours and there has been no news about foxes”
The Fox News Channel doesn't usually have news about foxes, but there are jokes. "I have been watching Fox News for six hours and there has been no news about foxes.…
“I have no problem with the LG HDTV Community”
"I have no problem with the LG HDTV Community" (or "Just so we're clear, I have no problem with the LG HDTV Community") has been posted on many images. "LG HDTV"…
“I just bought a new television remote control with fifty buttons. I was quite surprised they allowed me to pay with buttons”
"I just bought a TV remote control with three buttons. I was surprised they let me pay with buttons" was posted on X/Twitter by Crap Jokes on July 8, 2015. The first line of the joke…
“I just bought a TV remote control with three buttons. I was surprised they let me pay with buttons”
"I just bought a TV remote control with three buttons. I was surprised they let me pay with buttons" was posted on X/Twitter by Crap Jokes on July 8, 2015. The first line of the joke…
“I keep subtitles on bc sometimes I just be snackin too loud”
"I keep subtitles on bc sometimes I just be snackin too loud" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The crunch of potato chips can be very loud, and viewers can't hear…
“I keep the subtitles on because sometimes I’m just snacking too loud”
"I keep subtitles on bc sometimes I just be snackin too loud" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The crunch of potato chips can be very loud, and viewers can't hear…
“I love watching The History Channel. It’s my favorite past time”
The History Channel deals with a "past time," and watching it can be a favorite "pastime." This joke was posted on Twitter by 3AM on September 13, 2019, and on Reddit --…
“I may not be a great cook, but I did just put a towel over my shoulder like I’m on the Food Network”
A cooking joke has it that the speaker has never been on a cooking show, but the speaker can cook something simple (like maybe boil water) and put a kitchen towel over the shoulder. Impressive,…
“I saw an ad that said, ‘TV for sale-Volume Stuck on Full.’ I couldn’t turn that down”
A television joke is: "I was walking down the road the other day and I saw this advert in the window that said. 'Television For Sale -- Pounds 1 -- Volume Stuck On Full.' I thought:…
“I want to live in a world where the Food Network delivers”
The Food Network often gets its viewers hungry. "I want to live in a world where the Food Network delivers" is a jocular line that has been printed on several images. "Wonders if the…
“I was asked how much television I watch. I said that I usually watch the whole screen”
Many people watch a lot of television. "Some guy on live at the Apollo just said, 'I watch a lot of the TV. I even sometimes watch the whole screen'" was posted on Twitter on…
“I wasn’t allowed to watch ‘A Charlie Brown Christmas’ as a kid because of my Peanut allergy”
Peanuts is a syndicated comic strip that was published from 1950 to 2000. Some Peanuts television holiday specials featured the Charlie Brown and Snoopy characters. Peanuts has nothing to do with a…
“I watched my first porno today… I looked so much younger back then”
"I watched my first porno today... I looked so much younger back then" is a joke that has been printed on many images. The joke is that the person is not watching his/her first porn…
“I wiped my TV screen with anti-virus wipes. I lost CBS News, ABC News, NBC News, MSNBC, and CNN”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic caused people to wipe clean many surfaces. "I wiped my tv down with anti virus wipes I got rid of @cnnbrk @MSNBC_Breaking @NBCNews @ABC @andersoncooper…