“I just want to travel, take pictures, drink coffee and be happy”
"I just want to travel, take pictures, drink coffee and be happy" is a saying that has been printed on many images "I just want to travel and listen to music and drink coffee and…
“I just want to: take photos, drink coffee, travel the world, meet new people, be happy”
"I just want to travel, take pictures, drink coffee and be happy" is a saying that has been printed on many images "I just want to travel and listen to music and drink coffee and…
“I just went into my local shop & asked for a bottle of water. Shop keeper said ‘Still water?’ I replied ‘Yeah, I haven’t changed my mind’”
A restaurant joke has a diner order water, and the waiter asks, "Still?" The waiter wants to know if it's "still" or "sparkling" water, but the diner hears this…
“I just witnessed a lady throw away the center of a cinnamon roll…”
A comment about cinnamon rolls was posted on Twitter by tanner olson and went viral (over 118,500 likes): "I JUST WITNESSED A LADY THROW AWAY THE CENTER OF A CINNAMON ROLL.THE CENTER OF A…
“I just won a reward for most secretive person in the office” (joke)
"I've just won the 'Most secretive person 2013' award. I can't tell you how much it means to me. #sickipedia" was posted on Twitter by Sickipedia Official on July 11,…
“I just yelled into a colander and strained my voice”
A colander is a kitchen utensil used to strain foods. "I just yelled into a colander and strained my voice" is a joke that has been printed on many images. "I just yelled into a…
“I keep all my valuables near the front door so if burglars break in during the night they will not wake me up”
"I keep all my valuables near the front door so if a burglar breaks in during the night they won't wake me up" was posted on X/Twitter by Tony P. on September 24, 2013. "I keep…
“I keep asking what LGBTQ stands for, but I never get a straight answer”
Many people are confused by initials such as "LGBT" and "LGBTQ." A joke was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on January 28, 2019: "Every time I ask someone what the acronym LGBTQ…
“I keep hitting the space bar, but I’m still on Earth”
"I keep hitting/pressing the space bar, but I'm still on earth" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "i got a text last night that said 'madison. there…
“I keep imagining I’m holding an invisible pack of cards. No one knows what I’m dealing with”
The expression “to deal with” usually doesn’t involve playing cards, but there are jokes. "I keep imagining I'm holding an invisible pack of cards. No one knows what I'm…
“I keep my hot sauce in the refrigerator. Now it’s just sauce”
"Hot sauce" is sometimes stored in the refrigerator and, yes, it is still "hot" (spicy). However, many people still wonder about the process. "If you put hot sauce in the…
“I keep pre cooked bacon in my fridge that I call ‘Hurricane Bacon’...”
"I keep pre cooked bacon in my fridge that I call 'Hurricane Bacon.' When the Hurricane hits, I put that bacon in my pocket, so if I get buried in a pile of rubble, the search dogs…
“I keep pressing the space bar, but I’m still on Earth”
"I keep hitting/pressing the space bar, but I'm still on earth" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "i got a text last night that said 'madison. there…
“I keep randomly shouting out ‘Broccoli’ and ‘Cauliflower’—I think I might have florets”
"Florets" sounds a bit like "Tourette's," and there have been jokes. "@funnyhumour i cant stop shouting and swearing whenever brocolli or cauliflower are on the menu.…
“I keep seeing printers, scanners and webcams out of the corner of my eye. It’s my peripheral vision”
Peripheral vision has nothing to do with computer peripheral devices, but there are jokes. "Out of the corner of my eye, I can see a webcam and printer. It's my peripheral vision.…
“I keep shouting out the names of castles. I think I’ve got Turrets”
Tourette syndrome shouldn't be confused with "turret," but there are jokes. "I have developed Turrets Syndrome. I inappropriately and inadvertantly shout out names of castles…
“I keep subtitles on bc sometimes I just be snackin too loud”
"I keep subtitles on bc sometimes I just be snackin too loud" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The crunch of potato chips can be very loud, and viewers can't hear…
“I keep the subtitles on because sometimes I’m just snacking too loud”
"I keep subtitles on bc sometimes I just be snackin too loud" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The crunch of potato chips can be very loud, and viewers can't hear…
“I keep trying to buy a grocery checkout divider, but the cashier keeps putting it back”
How can one buy a supermarket divider? The cashier keeps putting it back! "I keep trying to buy the little divider thing at the check stand and the cashier keeps putting it back. Stuck in a…
“I keep trying to lose weight, but it keeps finding me”
"I keep trying to lose weight, but it keeps finding me" is a popular saying that has been printed on many gift items, such as T-shirts, posters and bumper stickers. A version of the joke…