“A blind man walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A popular "blind man walks into a bar" joke (there are several) is: "A blind…
“A blind man walks into a shop with his seeing-eye dog…” (joke)
Many people walk through stores "just looking around." A joke was printed in the New York (NY) Times on August 30, 1983, of a blind person who grabs his seeing eye dog by the tail and…
“A blind person was eating seafood. It didn’t help”
"Seafood" shouldn't be confused with "see food," but there are jokes. "Can a Blind Person TRULY enjoy SEA FOOD !!!" was posted on Twitter by I'mUp Next on…
“A blind prisoner walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A prisoner version is: "A prisoner walks into a bar." The joke is that the…
“A block grant is a solid mass of money surrounded on all sides by governors”
A block grant is a sum of money that is given by the federal government to state and local governments under certain programs, such as education, healthcare and transportation. "The First Law…
“A block of ice is just a loaf of water”
Ice is the solid form of water. "Hey so uh ice is just a loaf of water" was posted on Twitter by Chief Dumbass @ Dumbass inc. on April 27, 2018. "Ice is just a loaf of water"…
“A Bloody Mary is basically drinking spaghetti sauce mixed with vodka”
A Bloody Mary cocktail is made with vodka and tomato juice -- not spaghetti sauce -- but there are jokes. "A Bloody Mary is basically drinking spaghetti sauce mixed with vodka" was posted…
“A bloop hit looks like a line drive in the box score” (baseball adage)
A baseball batter sometimes does not hit a ball solidly, but the ball floats between fielders for a "blooper" or "dink" hit. The baseball saying is, "a bloop hit looks like…
“A blowfly goes into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A version with a fly is: "A blowfly goes into a bar and asks: 'Is that stool…
“A blue trip slip for an 8 cent fare…” (horse-car poetry)
Noah Brooks and Isaac Bromley, of the New York (NY) Daily Tribune, were riding downtown one evening in 1875 on the Fourth Avenue line, No. 101, when they read a placard. With the help of W. C.…
“A boat is a hole in the water into which you pour money”
"A boat is a hole in the water into which you pour money" is a popular saying that has been printed on gift items, such as T-shirts and posters. "A yacht, they say, is a hole in the…
“A bodybuilder won’t judge you for working out…”
"An athlete won't judge you for working out. A millionaire won't judge you for starting a business. A musician won't judge you for trying to sing a song. It's always the…
“A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat”
"A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat" is a joke that has appeared on many Internet lists since 2000. The joke centers on "hard to beat" eggs meaning also…
“A book dies every time you watch a reality TV show”
Jersey Shore was an American reality television series that ran from 2009 until 2012. "Every time someone watches jersey shore, a book commits suicide!" was posted on Twitter on January…
“A book just fell on my head. I only have my shelf to blame”
"My self" might sound like "my shelf" if someone (such as the Scottish accent of actor Sean Connery) pronounces it. "I was at home last night, and a book fell on my head.I…
“A book walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A book version is: "A book walks into a bar. The bartender says, 'Please, no…
“A boomerang is basically a single-player frisbee”
"A boomerang is a single player frisbee" was posted on Twitter by mackenzie on January 29, 2013. "A boomerang is like a single player frisbee" was posted on Twitter by Jimmy…
“A boomerang walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A boomerang version is: "A boomerang walks into a bar. The bartender says, 'Hey,…
“A boss is like a diaper—always on your ass and full of shit”
"A boss is like a diaper -- always on your ass and full of shit" is a jocular one-line saying shared by many workers. "Bosses are like diapers — full of shit and all over your…
“A bowling alley is a pretty bad place to serve finger foods”
People at a bowling alley put their fingers into bowling balls. "The first rule of staying alive is NEVER, EVER EAT FINGER FOOD AT A BOWLING ALLEY" was posted on Twitter on May 5, 2009.…