“A BuzzFeed writer walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A BuzzFeed version is: "A BuzzFeed writer walks into a bar. You won't believe…
“A cabbage and celery walk into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A food version is: "A cabbage and celery walk into a bar and the cabbage gets served…
“A cabbage and celery walk into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A food version is: "A cabbage and celery walk into a bar and the cabbage gets served…
“A cable TV installer walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A cable TV installer version is: "A cable TV installer walks into a bar and orders a…
“A cactus is a violent cucumber”
A cactus is sometimes compared to a cucumber. "Is a cactus just a violent cucumber?" was posted on Twitter by Redtildead on May 18, 2015. "Cactuses are just violent cucumbers"…
“A cactus is just a goth cucumber”
Cacti and pickles have both been called "goth cucumbers." "Cactus is just a giant goth cucumber" was posted on Twitter by B0regasmic on May 17, 2015. "A cactus is just a…
“A cactus is really just an aggressive cucumber”
"A cactus is really just an aggressive cucumber" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The saying was posted on Reddit -- Shower Thoughts on December 20, 2013. “A cactus is…
“A calzone is the socially acceptable way for someone to eat a whole pizza”
A calzone has been called a folded pizza. "Why is it that if you eat a whole pizza you are criticized but if you eat a calzone, not s'much?" was posted on Twitter on August 14, 2009.…
“A camel is a horse designed by a committee”
Committee decision-making has been criticized for producing ugly, generic results. "A camel is a horse designed/planned by a committee" is a phrase of unknown authorship that became…
“A campaign for re-election is a referendum on the incumbent”
A popular political adage is that a re-election campaign is "a referendum on the incumbent." The challenger is looked at secondarily, but the primary focus of an election is the…
“A Canadian is an unarmed American with health insurance”
The classic definition of a Canadian in the 1990s and 2000s was "an unarmed American with health insurance." "Definition - Canadian: An unarmed American, with health insurance"…
“A cannibal is a person who walks into a restaurant and orders a waiter” (joke)
"A cannibal is a person who walks into a restaurant and orders a waiter" is a joke that has been attributed to American television actor and comedian Morey Amsterdam (1908-1996) since…
“A car is useless in New York, essential everywhere else. The same with good manners”
American journalist and author Mignon McLaughlin (1913-1983) wrote in The Second Neurotic's Notebook (1966) and The Complete Neurotic's Notebook (1981): "A car is useless in New…
“A cardiology video is totally clips of the heart”
"Total Eclipse of the Heart" (1983) is a song recorded by Welsh singer Bonnie Tyler. It is not called "Totally Clips of the Heart," but there are jokes. "My cardiac surgeon…
“A careful driver is one who just saw the car ahead of him get a traffic ticket”
"A careful driver is one who just saw the car ahead of him get a ticket" is a jocular saying that has been popular on Twitter. The joke, however, is an old one. "A careful driver is…
“A case of the Mondays” (school/work saying)
"A case of the Mondays" -- Monday is often the first day of the school/work week -- is a saying that has been printed on many images. "A case of the Mondays was said three times in…
“A cashier asked me if I wanted paper or plastic. I said, ‘Just put the money in a bag!!’”
A cashier often gives a customer a choice of bags and asks, "Paper or plastic?" A joke situation occurs when a robber asks to put money in a bag. "Robber: put the money in the bag!!…
“A cat walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A cat version has a cat request a drink, knock it over, and then request another drink.…
“A celebrity is a person who is known for his well-knownness”
Entry in progress -- B.P. Wikiquote: Daniel J. BoorstinDaniel J. Boorstin (October 1, 1914 – February 28, 2004) was an American historian, professor, attorney and author. He served as Librarian…
“A celebrity works hard to be well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized”
“A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized" is a jocular definition that has been printed on many images.…