“A committee is twelve people doing the work of one”
Arthur Bloch's Murphy's Law Book Three: Wrong Reasons Why Things Go More! (1982) included: "Kennedy's Comment on CommitteesA committee is twelve people doing the work of…
“A compliment is verbal sunshine”
"A compliment is verbal sunshine" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The saying has been credited to American professional comedy writer Robert Orben since at least 1988,…
“A compromise is a deal in which two people get what neither of them wanted”
"A compromise is a deal in which two people get what neither of them wanted" is a jocular statement showing that a compromise makes neither party totally happy. "A compromise is an…
“A computer keyboard is a word piano”
A computer keyboard has been compared to piano. "RT @mamasanta computer keyboard my word piano" was posted on Twitter by Kathy Uyen Nguyen on October 28, 2009. "A computer keyboard…
“A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing”
"A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing" is a jocular one-line saying about chess that has been printed on many images. Philips told the joke in Emo…
“A conference is just an admission that you want somebody to join you in your troubles”
American cowboy, humorist and actor Will Rogers (1879-1935) wrote in his newspaper column published on July 21, 1932: "A conference is just an admission that you want somebody to join you in…
“A conservative is a man who is too cowardly to fight and too fat to run”
"A conservative is a man who is too cowardly to fight, and too fat to run" is a witticism from Elbert Hubbard (1856-1915), writing in his magazine, The Philistine, in 1903. The quip has…
“A conservative is a man who worships a dead radical”
Entry in progress -- B.P. Google BooksBulletinVolume 8, Issues 11-181926Pg. 266: "A conservative is a man who worships a dead radical." — John Simpson, president of the Farmers'…
“A conservative is someone who believes in reform. But not now”
Comedian and social satirist Mort Sahl said in 1958 that a conservative Republican is one "who doesn't believe anything should be tried for the first time," and a liberal Republican…
“A conservative is someone who makes no changes and consults his grandmother when in doubt”
"A conservative is someone who makes no changes and consults his grandmother when in doubt" is often credited to U.S. President Woodrow Wilson (1856-1924), but there is no evidence that…
“A conservative man is a man who just sits and thinks, mostly sits”
"A conservative man is a man who just sits and thinks, mostly sits" is a saying that has been attributed to Woodrow Wilson and that has been printed on many images. Woodrow Wilson…
“A conspiracy theorist walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A conspiracy theorist version is: "A conspiracy theorist walks into a bar... Or so the…
“A consultant is someone who borrows your watch to tell you the time, and then keeps the watch”
"A consultant is someone who borrows your watch to tell you the time, and then keeps the watch" is a popular saying among people who aren't fond of consultants. Advertising executive…
“A consultant is someone who lives out of town”
"Consultant" is often defined as someone who lives out of town -- or at least 50 or 100 miles away. The consultant is called in, says the obvious, and then leaves. “A consultant is…
“A consultant is someone who saves his client almost enough to pay his fee”
"A consultant is someone who saves his client almost enough to pay his fee" is a jocular saying that has been attributed to Arnold H. Glasgow, an American psychiatrist, since at least…
“A contortionist in the Philippines would be a Manila folder”
Many offices use manila folders. A riddle about them is: Q: What do you call a contortionist from the Philippines?A: A Manila folder. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1974.…
“A cookbook is only as good as its poorest recipe”
"A cookbook is only as good as its poorest/worst recipe" is a saying that has been printed on many images. Television chef and author Julia Child (1912-2004) said it several times, in…
“A cookbook is only as good as its worst recipe”
"A cookbook is only as good as its poorest/worst recipe" is a saying that has been printed on many images. Television chef and author Julia Child (1912-2004) said it several times, in…
“A cookie a day keeps the sadness away”
"A cookie a day keeps the sadness away" is a variation of the much older "an apple a day keeps the doctor away." "A cookie a day keeps the sadness away" was cited on…
“A cop pulled me over and said, ‘Papers.’ So I said, ‘Scissors, I win!’ and drove off”
Officers who ask for "papers" aren't interested in playing rock-paper-scissors,", but there's a joke: "A cop pulled me over and said, 'Papers.' So I said,…