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September 23, 2021
Radio/Television

“Why are televisions attracted to people?”/“Because people turn them on.”

A television riddle is: Q: Why are televisions attracted to people?A: Because people turn them on. The riddle was posted on the newsgroup programming-puzzles on April 17, 2012.…

May 20, 2021
Food/Drink

“Why are the French snails fastest in the world?”/“L’ess cargo.”

"Escargot" (French for "snail") is sometimes given the joke "l'ess/less cargo." "Why are French snails faster? Less cargo" was posted on Twitter by…

May 1, 2025
Holidays/Events/ParadesSports/Games

“Why are the Mets having a gala?”

The New York Mets baseball team has nothing to do with the Metropolitan Museum of Art's annual "Met Gala," but there are jokes. Wikipedia: Met Gala The Met Gala, formally called the…

September 18, 2017
Food/Drink

“Why are there donut holes, but not bagel holes?”

"If they make donut holes, why don't they make bagel holes?" was posted on Twitter on July 6, 2009. "Why are there donut holes but not bagel holes?" was posted on Reddit --…

July 9, 2021
Restaurants/Bars/Coffeehouses/Food Stores

“Why are there no dominatrixes at sandwich shops?”/“Because they’re all subs.”

"Dominance and submission" or "dom/sub" does not apply to "sub" sandwiches, but there are jokes. "thegutlesswonder: a bdsm themed sandwich shop called Dom’s…

December 24, 2016
Food/Drink

“Why are there no jokes about turkey giblets?”/“Because the punchlines are offal.”

A turkey giblets riddle is: Q: Why are there no jokes about turkey giblets?A: Because the punchlines are offal. The riddle has been cited in print since at least December 2013, when it was included…

July 24, 2014
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“Why are there no knock-knock jokes about the U.S.?”/“Because freedom rings.”

"Let freedom ring!" is the last line of the first verse of "My Country, 'Tis of Thee." It's also the punch line of a popular knock-knock joke: "Why are there no…

December 28, 2016
Work/Businesses

“Why are there no Walmarts in Iraq?”/“Because they’re all Targets.”

Walmart and Target are competitor retail stores. A joke was told around the time of the Gulf War, such as this one posted to the newsgroup rec.humor.funny on March 14, 1991: Q: Why are there no…

May 21, 2016
Food/Drink

“Why are there only 239 beans in Irish bean soup?” (joke)

Beans have a reputation of making people fart, and there's a joke: Q: Why are there only 239 beans in Irish bean soup?A (Irish accent): Because one more and it would be too farty. The joke was…

March 7, 2016
Sports/Games

“Why are there so many baseball autobiographies?”/“Because every pitcher tells a story.”

"Every picture tells a story" is an old saying that was popularized as the title of a 1971 rock song and album by Rod Stewart. There's a baseball pun: Q: Why are there so many…

September 1, 2017
Exercise/Running/Health Clubs

“Why are there so many public libraries, but no public gyms?”

"We, as a country, should have public gyms akin to having public libraries" is a thought that was posted on Twitter on December 11, 2012. "Public libraries... how about public…

July 15, 2012
Buildings/Housing/Parks

“Why are they called ‘apartments’ when they’re all stuck together?” (joke)

"Why are they called 'apartments' when they're all stuck together?" is a joke that has been cited in print since at least 1986 and that has become popular on the internet.…

August 30, 2016
Buildings/Housing/Parks

“Why are they called ‘buildings’ when they’re already finished?” (joke)

"Why are they called "buildings' when they're already finished? Shouldn't they be called 'builts'?" is a jocular question that has been printed on many…

May 27, 2025
Food/DrinkMedia/Newspapers/Magazines/Internet

“Why are they called food critics and not ingestigative journalists?”

"Who decided to call it Food Critic and not Ingestigative Journalist?" was posted on X/Twitter by @viktorklang.com on June 10, 2017. "Why are they called food critics and not…

October 10, 2020
Education/Schools

“Why are two medians in a single data set funny?”/“Because it’s a co-median.”

"Comedian" has nothing to do with a "median," but there are "co-median" jokes. "Statistical inference joke - why are two medians in a single data set funny?…

April 25, 2018
Sports/Games

“Why are vampires afraid of casinos?”/“Because of all the high stakes.”

A vampire riddle has been cited in print since at least 1999: Q: What do vampires play poker for? A: High stakes. A slightly different version -- not necessarily involving the game of poker -- was…

October 22, 2021
Holidays/Events/Parades

“Why are vampires such jerks?”/“Because they are incapable of self reflection.”

Vampires, according to legend, can't see their own reflection. This is sometimes expressed in a Halloween thought. "Vampires are arrogant because they are incapable of…

January 21, 2017
Restaurants/Bars/Coffeehouses/Food Stores

“Why are waiters good at math?”/“They know all their tables.”

A riddle about knowing multiplication tables is: Q: Why are waiters good at math?A: They know all their tables. The joke was included in a 1983 book on riddles and puns. Google BooksRemember the a…

March 23, 2025
Work/Businesses

“Why are we keeping it a secret where I’m supposed to tap my debit card?”

"Tap to pay" sounds easy, but where to tap? This was posted on X/Twitter by Ben Rosen on August 7, 2023, and received over 63,000 likes: "why are we keeping it a secret where i’m…

April 28, 2024
Government/Law/Military/Religion /HealthWork/Businesses

“Why are we locking up the items, but not the thieves?”

"Maybe it’s time to stop locking up items in stores… and go back to locking up the thieves and Criminals!" was posted on X/Twitter by Grateful Turk on February 24, 2023. "Instead…

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BARRY POPIK is a contributor to the Oxford English Dictionary, Dictionary of American Regional English, Historical Dictionary of American Slang, Yale Book of Quotations and Dictionary of Modern Proverbs. Since 1990 he has also been a regular contributor to Gerald Cohen's Comments on Etymology.

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