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March 7, 2021
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?” (lawyer joke)

A lawyer joke is: Q: Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?A: If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they can rarely be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything…

March 11, 2017
Holidays/Events/Parades

“Why are leprechauns so hard to get along with?”/“They’re very short-tempered!”

A leprechaun riddle is: Q: Why are leprechauns so hard to get along with?A: They're very short=tempered! The joke has been cited in print since at least 2001. Kidsjokes.co.uk (June 23, 2001)…

November 14, 2016
Sports/Games

“Why are many umpires fat?”/“Because they always clean their plate.”

Baseball umpires frequently dust off home plate. A baseball riddle is: Q: Why are many umpires fat?A: Because they always clean their plate. The riddle has been cited in print since at least 2006.…

November 14, 2016
Food/Drink

“Why are many umpires fat?”/“Because they always clean their plate.”

Baseball umpires frequently dust off home plate. A baseball riddle is: Q: Why are many umpires fat?A: Because they always clean their plate. The riddle has been cited in print since at least 2006.…

March 21, 2016
Names/Phrases

“Why are most New York Italians called Tony?” (joke)

Many Italian men are named "Tony." There's a politically incorrect joke: Q: Why are most Italian men called "Tony"?A: Because they were sent to Ellis Island with "To…

January 6, 2017
Buildings/Housing/Parks

“Why are mountains so funny? Because they’re hill areas”

"Why are mountains so funny? Because they're hill areas" is a hilarious pun that has been printed on many images. The joke was posted by Dave Lee on Twitter on July 14, 2011.…

October 15, 2005
Names/Phrases

“Why are New Yorkers depressed?”/“Because the light at the end of the tunnel is New Jersey!”

Question: Why are New Yorkers so depressed?Answer: Because the light at the end of the tunnel is New Jersey! This joke has been spreading around the internet and has been told since at least 1977.…

March 7, 2015
Music/Dance/Theatre/Film/Circus

“Why are orchestra intermissions limited to twenty minutes?” (joke)

A classic joke is said about orchestra intermissions: Q: Why are orchestra intermissions only twenty minutes long? A: So the violists don't need to be retrained. The joke has been cited in…

March 5, 2018
Sports/Games

“Why are origami artists bad at poker?”/“They always fold.”

Origami is the art of paper folding. It has nothing to do with folding in the game of poker, but there have been puns. "Never play poker with origami makers; they always fold" was posted…

April 1, 2020
Time/Weather

“Why are people so tired on April 1st?”/“Because they just finished a 31-day March.”

A popular April riddle is: Q: Why are people so tired on April 1st?A: Because they just finished a 31-day March. The joke -- often involving soldiers or scouts -- has been cited in print since at…

March 11, 2025
Food/DrinkMusic/Dance/Theatre/Film/Circus

“Why are people who play the flute called flautists? Those should be people who make flautas”

"Flauta" (Spanish for "flute") is a Mexican dish. There are, of course, jokes involving flute players, or "flautists." "Why are people who play the flute called…

June 6, 2015
Transportation

“Why are people who ride motorcycles called bikers and people who ride bikes called cyclists?”

"Why are people who ride motorcycles called bikers and people who ride bikes called cyclists?" asked American author Richard Lederer in "English Is A Crazy Language," an essay…

June 19, 2016
Music/Dance/Theatre/Film/Circus

“Why are pianos so hard to open?”/“The keys are inside.”

A popular piano joke is: Q: Why are pianos so hard to open?A: The keys are inside. "She really could not play when requested. The piano was locked up and the keys were inside" was cited…

February 5, 2017
Food/Drink

“Why are pizza slices shaped that way? Do they expect our mouths to get wider after each bite?”

Pizza is usually circular and cut into triangles. "Karen" posted on Twitter on January 29, 2014: "Why are pizza slices shaped that way ?? Do they expect our mouths to get wider after…

October 24, 2018
Restaurants/Bars/Coffeehouses/Food Stores

“Why are restaurant servers the luckiest profession?”/“Good things come to those who wait.”

"All/Good things come to those who wait" is a proverb that dates to the 1500s. The proverb wasn't about restaurant waiters, but there are jokes. "Those who say 'good things…

December 11, 2020
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“Why are Santa’s reindeer allowed to travel on Christmas Eve?”/“They have herd immunity.”

The 2020 COVID-19 (coronavirus) pandemic made many people wonder if Santa Claus and his reindeer would still deliver presents on Christmas Day. "Why don't Santa's reindeer need to…

July 25, 2018
Food/Drink

“Why are sardines so stupid?”/“They lock themselves in a can and leave the key outside.”

A riddle about sardines is: Q: Why are sardines so stupid?A: They lock themselves in a can and leave the key outside. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1959. 1 February 1959, South…

June 22, 2021
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“Why are Sherlock Holmes’ taxes so low?”/“He’s a master of deduction.”

A Sherlock Holmes riddle is: Q: Why are Sherlock Holmes' taxes so low?A: He's a master of deduction. "Why doesn’t Sherlock Holmes pay a lot of taxes? He’s a master of…

March 16, 2022
Work/Businesses

“Why are so many leprechauns florists?”/“They have green thumbs.”

There are several St. Patrick's Day riddles about leprechauns having green thumbs. "Riddle of the Day: Why are so many leprechauns florists? #HeritageHealth Answer: They have green…

March 16, 2022
Food/Drink

“Why are so many leprechauns gardeners?”/“Because they have green thumbs.”

There are several St. Patrick's Day riddles about leprechauns having green thumbs. "Riddle of the Day: Why are so many leprechauns florists? #HeritageHealth Answer: They have green…

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BARRY POPIK is a contributor to the Oxford English Dictionary, Dictionary of American Regional English, Historical Dictionary of American Slang, Yale Book of Quotations and Dictionary of Modern Proverbs. Since 1990 he has also been a regular contributor to Gerald Cohen's Comments on Etymology.

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