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June 6, 2015
Sports/Games

“Why are clouds like jockeys?”/“When they hold the rains.”

A "rains/reins" pun from 1878 is: "When are the clouds like jockeys? When they hold the rains." The joke was repopularized (or reinvented) in the 2000s. "Why are clouds…

May 27, 2017
Media/Newspapers/Magazines/Internet

“Why are computers always hungry?”/“Because they can only eat microchips.”

There have been many puns about computers, bytes and (micro)chips. One riddle was printed in a 1990 newspaper: Q: What did the hungry computer eat at snacktime?A: Chips, one byte at a time. Another…

December 11, 2016
Restaurants/Bars/Coffeehouses/Food Stores

“Why are Dasher and Dancer always taking coffee breaks?”/“Because they’re Santa’s star bucks.”

Entry in progress -- B.P.Starbucks coffeehouses Wikipedia: Santa Claus's reindeerSanta Claus's reindeer form a team of flying reindeer traditionally held to pull the sleigh of Santa Claus…

June 15, 2024
Media/Newspapers/Magazines/Internet

“Why are dick pics not called junk mail?”

"Junk mail" usually has nothing to do with "junk" (sexual slang), but there are jokes. "Speaking of Brett Favre, I think it's time we start calling texted dick pics…

May 22, 2015
Food/Drink

“Why are doctors so afraid of apples, anyway?”

"An apple a day keeps the doctor away" is an old saying. There is a jocular response: "Why are doctors so afraid of apples, anyway?" "Why are doctors afraid of…

February 21, 2017
Music/Dance/Theatre/Film/Circus

“Why are drummer jokes so simple?”/“So bassists can understand them.”

Drummers have a lot of jokes told about them, but one popular comeback is: Q: Why are drummer jokes so simple?A: So bassists can understand them. "Why are drummer jokes so short? So the…

March 7, 2018
Buildings/Housing/Parks

“Why are elevator jokes always funny?”/“Because they work on so many different levels.”

A riddle about elevator jokes has been printed on several images: Q: Why are elevator jokes always funny?A: Because they work on so many different levels. "I think that elevator jokes work on…

December 4, 2019
Food/Drink

“Why are fish easy to weigh?”/“They have their own scales!”

A fish riddle has been cited in print since at least 1983: Q: Why is it easy to weigh a fish?A: Because it has its own scales. “How do you tune a fish?"/"With its scales" is a…

February 4, 2018
Sports/Games

“Why are fish no good at tennis?”/“They don’t like to get too close to the net.”

A tennis riddle is: Q: Why are fish no good at tennis?A: They don't like to get too close to the net. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1984. Google BooksLaughs, Hoots &…

June 22, 2018
Education/Schools

“Why are fish so smart?”/“Because they travel in schools.”

"It is said that fish is an excellent brain food. It is probably because they travel in schools" is a pun that was printed in the Philipsburg (MT) Mail on August 10, 1893. "Fish make…

August 24, 2017
Food/Drink

“Why are fishmongers never generous?”/“Because their business makes them sell-fish.”

A fishmonger riddle is: Q: Why is a fishmonger never generous?A: Because his business is sell-fish. The "sell-fish"/"selfish" pun has been cited in print since at least 1879.…

May 20, 2021
Food/Drink

“Why are French snail imports down?”/“Because there is less cargo.”

"Escargot" (French for "snail") is sometimes given the joke "l'ess/less cargo." "Why do the French transport snails without their shells? Less cargo"…

May 20, 2021
Food/Drink

“Why are French snails faster?”/“Less cargo.”

"Escargot" (French for "snail") is sometimes given the joke "l'ess/less cargo." "Why are French snails faster? Less cargo" was posted on Twitter by…

October 19, 2022
Work/Businesses

“Why are ghosts bad at telling lies?”/“Because you can see right through them.”

You can see right through ghosts, and there are riddles about this. "Why don't ghosts tell lies? Because you can see right through them" was printed in the Ellesmere Port (UK)…

October 19, 2022
Work/Businesses

“Why are ghosts bad liars?”/“Because you can see right through them.”

You can see right through ghosts, and there are riddles about this. "Why don't ghosts tell lies? Because you can see right through them" was printed in the Ellesmere Port (UK)…

October 19, 2022
Work/Businesses

“Why are ghosts terrible liars?”/“Because you can see right through them.”

You can see right through ghosts, and there are riddles about this. "Why don't ghosts tell lies? Because you can see right through them" was printed in the Ellesmere Port (UK)…

September 21, 2020
Sports/Games

“Why are girls so good at swimming?”/“Because they are boyn’t.”

"Buoyant" has nothing to do with "boy," but "boyn't" is a pun. "Boys always sink but girls don't because they're boyn't" was posted on…

June 11, 2016
Food/DrinkPets (Dogs, Cats, Horses)

“Why are horses always so fit?”/“They’re on a stable diet.”

A popular joke about a "stable diet" is: Q: Why are most horses so slim?A: They are on a stable diet. This joke was cited on Twitter on December 30, 2012. The "stable diet"…

June 17, 2018
Government/Law/Military/Religion /HealthPets (Dogs, Cats, Horses)

“Why are horses lousy at voting?”/“They only vote neigh.”

Horses that vote "neigh" (nay) is an old joke. "If a horse were in Congress, how would he vote? Neigh!" was printed in the Alabama Beacon (Greensboro, AL) on August 3, 1850.…

July 11, 2022
Restaurants/Bars/Coffeehouses/Food Stores

“Why are Jamaicans afraid of kosher delis?”/“They dread lox.”

"Dreadlocks" shouldn't be confused with "dread lox," but there are jokes. "why do rastafarians avoid jewish delis? cuz they dread lox!" was posted on Twitter by…

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BARRY POPIK is a contributor to the Oxford English Dictionary, Dictionary of American Regional English, Historical Dictionary of American Slang, Yale Book of Quotations and Dictionary of Modern Proverbs. Since 1990 he has also been a regular contributor to Gerald Cohen's Comments on Etymology.

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