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December 18, 2019
Holidays/Events/Parades

“Which of Santa’s reindeer has bad manners?”/“‘Rude’olph.”

A Christmas riddle has been printed on many images: Q: Which of Santa's reindeer(s) has bad manners?A: "Rude"olph. or Q: Which of Santa's reindeer(s) needs to mind his manners…

December 18, 2019
Holidays/Events/Parades

“Which of Santa’s reindeers needs to mind his manners the most?”/“‘Rude’olph.”

A Christmas riddle has been printed on many images: Q: Which of Santa's reindeer(s) has bad manners?A: "Rude"olph. or Q: Which of Santa's reindeer(s) needs to mind his manners…

June 16, 2024
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“Which sailors blow their noses the most often?”/“The anchor chiefs.”

"Handkerchief" shouldn't be confused with "anchor chief," but there are jokes. "What do sailor's use to blow their noses? Anchor-chiefs" was posted on…

November 11, 2016
Food/Drink

“Which side of a turkey has the juiciest meat?”/“The inside.”

A Thanksgiving turkey riddle is: Q: Which side of a turkey has the juiciest meat?A: The inside. The riddle has been cited in print since at least 2008. “Which side of a turkey has the most…

November 11, 2016
Food/Drink

“Which side of a turkey has the most feathers?”/“The outside.”

A Thanksgiving turkey riddle is: Q: WHich side of a turkey has the most feathers?A: The outside. "What side of a chicken has the most feathers on? The outside" was cited in a 1932…

November 23, 2016
Food/Drink

“Which Thanksgiving beverage is sad?”/“Apple sigh-der.”

A Thanksgiving riddle about apple cider is: Q: Which Thanksgiving beverage is sad?A: Apple sigh-der. The riddle has been cited in print since at least 2006. Brownielocks -- Thanksgiving Jokes and…

January 2, 2016
Transportation

“Which tricycle does the blonde have?”/“The one with the kickstand.”

A tricycle can stand on its own and does not need a kickstand. A popular "dumb blonde" joke is: Q: How can you tell which tricycle belongs to the blonde?A: It is the one with the…

June 27, 2022
Food/Drink

“Which vegetable do you stand in line for?”/“A queue cumber.”

Entry in progress -- BP Wikipedia: CucumberCucumber (Cucumis sativus) is a widely-cultivated creeping vine plant in the Cucurbitaceae family that bears usually cylindrical fruits, which are used as…

June 16, 2019
Media/Newspapers/Magazines/Internet

“Which way did the programmer go?”/“He went data way!”

A riddle has been printed on many images: Q: Which way did the programmer go?A: He went data way. A version of the joke was printed in Boys' Life magazine in May 1975. Google BooksMay 1975,…

April 25, 2022
Food/Drink

“Which wine pairs best with existential dread?”

Wine pairing can be difficult, especially when it is paired with one's emotional state (and not food). "*at a restaurant talking to the waiter* yes, which wine pairs best with existential…

March 14, 2022
Restaurants/Bars/Coffeehouses/Food Stores

“While Alan Turing was cracking codes in WW2, his sister Kay was providing drinks & sandwiches”

English mathematician, computer scientist, logician, cryptanalyst, philosopher, and theoretical biologist Alan Turing (1912-1954) did not have a sister named "Kay Turing" (catering), but…

July 22, 2022
Restaurants/Bars/Coffeehouses/Food Stores

“While at the grocery store, be careful not to knock over the cabbage display. Heads will roll”

"Heads will roll" usually refers to the heads of people (and getting rid of these people from an organization), but there are heads of cabbage jokes. "If you don't pile your…

April 28, 2017
Exercise/Running/Health Clubs

“While I was running today, I heard someone clapping. It was my thighs cheering me on”

"While I was running today, I heard someone clapping. Then I realized it was just my thighs cheering me on" is a jocular running saying that has been printed on many images. The saying…

October 10, 2017
Education/Schools

“While most puns make me feel numb, math puns always makes me feel number”

"Numb" and "number" are two very different words, but there are math jokes. "Most puns make me numb while math puns make me number. hehehehehe" was posted on Twitter…

May 6, 2023
Education/Schools

“While my wife was asleep, I wrote algebraic terms on her. You should have seen the expression…”

A math joke was posted on Reddit -- Dadjokes on January 13, 2023: "Last night, while my wife was asleep I decided to write algebraic terms all over her. You should have seen the expression on…

September 22, 2013
Food/Drink

“While there’s tea, there’s hope”

"Where there's tea, there's hope" is a saying that has been printed on any gift items, such as T-shirts, posters and cups. The original saying -- "while there is tea, there…

September 30, 2016
Restaurants/Bars/Coffeehouses/Food Stores

“While you are in New York, there is a bar that you have to go to” (joke)

There's a joke about the best bar in a big city (usually New York), as one person tells another. When you walk in, you're handed a free drink! Then, they take you in the back and you get…

January 9, 2017
Work/Businesses

“While you were arguing about the glass of water, I drank it! -Sincerely, The Opportunist”

"Is the glass half empty or half full?" is a classic question, and a jocular message has been printed on many images: Dear Optimist, Pessimist, and Realist,While you were arguing about…

November 11, 2017
Food/Drink

“Whilst cooking today, I accidentally rubbed some herbs in my eyes. I’m now parsley sighted”

"Got herbs in my eyes cooking last nite, now I'm parsley sighted" was posted on Twitter on March 4, 2011. "Whilst preparing dinner last night I accidentally got some herbs in my…

September 25, 2020
Food/Drink

“Whiners make excuses. Winners make coffee”

"Quitters/Whiners make excuses. Winners make coffee" Is a coffee saying that has been printed on many images. "Quitters make excuses. Winners make coffee" (shown on an image,…

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BARRY POPIK is a contributor to the Oxford English Dictionary, Dictionary of American Regional English, Historical Dictionary of American Slang, Yale Book of Quotations and Dictionary of Modern Proverbs. Since 1990 he has also been a regular contributor to Gerald Cohen's Comments on Etymology.

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