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November 30, 2020
Restaurants/Bars/Coffeehouses/Food Stores

“Where’s the best place to buy herbs in New York?”/“Thyme Square.”

"Thyme Square" is a pun on New York City's "Times Square." The Thyme Square Bakery & Cafe in Quincy (IL) opened in 2010. There is also a Thyme Square Cafe in Hornsby,…

February 18, 2015
Media/Newspapers/Magazines/Internet

“Where’s the best place to hide a dead body?”/“Google’s second page of search results”

"What's the best place to hide a dead body?" The jocular answer is the second page of Google search results, because nobody ever goes there. "Am I the only one who realises you…

October 2, 2019
Food/Drink

“Where’s the best place to hide from a doctor?”/“An apple orchard.”

“An apple a day keeps the doctor away” is a famous proverb. Are doctors afraid of apple orchards? "An apple a day keeps the doctor away. That's why I live in a giant apple in an apple…

April 9, 2018
Food/Drink

“Where’s the cheese grater?”/“Some say France…”

"Grater" sounds like the word "greater." A joke was posted on Twitter on June 13, 2012: "My wife was preparing lunch today when she asked, 'Where's the cheese…

September 16, 2017
Food/Drink

“Where’s the worst place to bring someone who’s allergic to apples?”/“New York.”

A "Big Apple" joke was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on September 16, 2017: Q: Where's the worst place to bring someone who's allergic to apples?A: New York. Twitter Harrison…

September 16, 2017
Names/Phrases

“Where’s the worst place to bring someone who’s allergic to apples?”/“New York.”

A "Big Apple" joke was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on September 16, 2017: Q: Where's the worst place to bring someone who's allergic to apples?A: New York. Twitter Harrison…

September 8, 2022
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“Whether it’s the best of times or the worst of times, it is the only time you’ve got”

"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times" is the famous first line of the novel A Tale of Two Cities (1859) by Charles Dickens (1812-1870). "Whether it's the best of…

September 8, 2022
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“Whether it’s the best of times or the worst of times, it’s the only time we’ve got”

"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times" is the famous first line of the novel A Tale of Two Cities (1859) by Charles Dickens (1812-1870). "Whether it's the best of…

May 1, 2025
Food/Drink

“Whether it’s hot or cold brew, coffee is my all-day companion”

"Whether it’s hot or cold, coffee is my all-day companion" was posted on Facebook by CA' LE BREW on September 18, 2024. The coffee saying was also posted on Facebook by Coffee…

February 12, 2012
Banking/Finance/Insurance

“Whether you’re rich or poor, it’s nice to have money”

Entry in progress -- B.P. [This saying was discussed in February 2012 in WordOrigins.org.]

April 30, 2023
Media/Newspapers/Magazines/Internet

“Which account is the most blocked on Twitter?”/“The National Constipation Society.”

When people are "blocked" (on social media such as Twitter), this has nothing to do with constipation, but there are jokes. "Can someone tell me what the National Constipation…

August 4, 2016
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“Which American president is least guilty?”/“Lincoln. He is in a cent.”

A pun about the Abraham Lincoln-head penny is: Q: Which president is least guilty? A: Lincoln. He is in a cent. The penny pun has been cited in print since at least 2002. The "in a…

August 4, 2016
Banking/Finance/Insurance

“Which American president is least guilty?”/“Lincoln. He is in a cent.”

A pun about the Abraham Lincoln-head penny is: Q: Which president is least guilty? A: Lincoln. He is in a cent. The penny pun has been cited in print since at least 2002. The "in a…

September 22, 2017
Food/Drink

“Which animal is the best at barbecuing?”/“The grilla.”

"Gorilla" can be shortened to "'grilla," which is almost like "grill." A riddle was posted on Reddit -- Dad Jokes on August 28, 2017: Q: Which animal is the best…

December 13, 2017
Streets

“Which animals make potholes?”/“Rodents.”

"Rodents" sounds like "road dents." "Exterminators call pot holes 'road dents!!!'" was posted on Twitter on February 2, 2010. "Guys, be careful when you…

November 6, 2021
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“Which branch of the United States military is the most patriotic?”/“The Air Force; they’re US AF.”

A riddle about the United States Air Force (USAF) was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on December 28, 2018: Q: Which branch of the United States military is the most patriotic?A: The Air Force;…

October 18, 2016
Buildings/Housing/Parks

“Which building does Dracula visit in New York?”/“The Vampire State Building.”

New York City's Empire State Building was the tallest building in the world when it opened in May 1931. It wasn't long before the "Vampire State Building" jokes began. A joke…

September 2, 2018
Food/Drink

“Which came first, the chicken salad sandwich or the egg salad sandwich?”

"Which came first: the chicken or the egg?" is a classic question. "Which came first, the chicken salad or the egg salad sandwich?" was asked in Ladies' Home Journal in May…

January 24, 2022
Transportation

“Which car looks the same frontwards or backwards?”/“A Toyota.”

"A Toyota" is a palindrone (the same backwards and forwards). "Q) Which car looks the same backwards as forwards? A) A toyota" was posted on Twitter by Andy Ryan on June 24,…

February 22, 2022
Food Festivals

“Which cheese festival is the shortest?”/“The Brie Fest.”

The word "briefest" has nothing to do with a cheese festival (brie fest), but there are jokes. "*snort* just read briefest as Brie-fest. Like festival of cheese" was posted on…

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BARRY POPIK is a contributor to the Oxford English Dictionary, Dictionary of American Regional English, Historical Dictionary of American Slang, Yale Book of Quotations and Dictionary of Modern Proverbs. Since 1990 he has also been a regular contributor to Gerald Cohen's Comments on Etymology.

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